Fat people are harder to kidnap
Don't steal. The government hates competition.
Politicians and diapers should both be changed regularly and for the same reason.
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
It's God's job to forgive Bin Laden... It's our job to arrange the meeting -USMC
Backoff I'm a postal worker.
Of course you're faster, but I'm driving in front of you.
If you can't stop when I do, smile as you go under!
If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you!
I don't mind the voices in my head, it's the ones in yours that bug me.
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!
Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but you are abusing the privelege
I Think, Therefore I am Single