Just a little bit ago, the original The Lion in Winter went off, and for as many times as I've seen it over the years, I have got to admit, tonight is the first time I didn't sleep through half of it! Given the timing, it hits oh so richer a cord than normal. How much similarity to it, have I not seen? Even down to the knives, it is not such an alien thing, as I honetly wish it was. I have often wondered, if someday I'll look back upon things, and chant just something else to burn... to cast memories into the flames of some fireplace.
I sat and watched, enjoying the film for a change, and listening to my mother mock me with almost every comment to the screen; both of us morons in many cases. Should I say,that I'm no stranger to hatred, even if I've never learned how to hate. She'll obviously be in finer form tomorrow, and the only alternative to causing greater damage, will be to pipe down and take whatever is thrown out there. The most that I can hope for, is that tomorrow passes by quickly. Take a few hours to pick out a Mother's Day card, that will likely be thrown back in my face, sooner or later. My brothers supposed to make a rare appearance at some point, so I know that by night fall, I will likely be regretting staying sober. If I'm lucky, I'll be permitted to make due with being insulted in the third person, from within ear shot; rather than having a big red bulls eye painted on me for target practice \o/.
For the past few days, I've neen in a particularly black mood: or as I would have described Friday, a day within sunshine. Living in onslaughtist territory just serves to pick open scabs; I doubt anyonean understand that section of me, but my family always knows how to stab until they find it,without fail. Mother's Day is a day that I've almost come to dread, *sigh*. Why? Because it's impossible to avoid the things that tend to come with it. This is a segment in that larger side of my 'black mood'.
Time to get stuff done, and try and find an hours sleep or two....