Perhaps it comes from being raised by negative people, I kind of like the Cigarette Smoking Man’s Life is Like a Box of Chocolates speech more than the more famous one.

I also find the character curious and unique as a villain. The CSM’s position yields a little power, and in The X-Files, he might very well be considered one of the most powerful people in the country in terms of influence from the shadows. But on the flip side: his life is largely a sad, little one. In which about the only good things are a pack of Morleys. Like really, if you laid out what you don’t want your middle aged life to look like: Cancer Man’s off duty time is what you don’t want yours to end up becoming.

And odds are, his best friend is the nearest seven eleven or vending machine with his brand in stock.