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Sometimes it’s impossible to dodge a rotten mood :-/

Heh, the radio is saying the humidity is up to 81%

“Useless as tits on a boar hog” — an expression my father was noted for.

Just got home and out of the shower a little bit ago. Missed my morning run (again), because I was trying to get crap wrapped up before work. Had to cut that short with HRP driving me bananas sufficient in advance of having to get dressed, that it was pointless. So I just left my computer on and went off to work.

Trying to get some spells of focused coding is about the only relief I get, and they’re to far and few in between. Decided to take a walk after work, before even arriving. Between pacing at work and being on foot, I’ve walked at least 10km today. I’ve been in a terrible mood. At least walking, I can both be alone and have solitude when desired; being at home is as good as being alone, and periodically bitched at or tapped by someone who expects to be waited on like an invalid.

They can fry their eggs out on pavement, but they won’t fry me! Weather service was saying 94F/34C with the humidity enough that it is `supposed` to feel like 99F/37C. That is skin-melting by local standards. Well suck an egg, because that’s not hot. I had a thick shirt and jeans on, no hat, and rarely any shade: but you can’t tell me that was ‘too’ hot to be walking in. Nadda. After growing up in Florida, it has REALLLY got to be smoking out before I’ll take notice. Few places in the country have that intensity or worse, and those out of the states that do, well should we say also know what > 120F/~50C looks like.

Only stopped for about 5 minutes when passing through a dingy park, but otherwise kept on the move; either trying to think or trying not to. Decision day is inching ever closer.

On one positive side, my brother might make an appearance at some point in a way that may lead to some driving time; he’s more interested in barrowing the few bucks I have 8=). I can’t help but remember an old expression about being useless.

Hooah, about an hours sleep and no dreams, now I just need to stay awake…

Getting late but sleep is about the last thing I feel like right now. What’s the point really? I’ll just wake up in an hour or three, and be looking for ways to forget my dreams, or end up thinking my brains senseless. My dreams have been horrible lately.

It usually takes a few weeks of non stop moving before my body demands a proper crash landing. Now if only I could work myself that tired, and get real rest.

Something about having a dozen windows open and a gazillion tabs of everything running, reminds me just how much I hate task bars. Alt+tab ftw.

I have a lot on my mind, one could say much to much food for though. While I try to live in the moment, for the most part, my mind never ceases, it’s even worse when more on the idle side.

When stuck using a dead monitor as a weight, I can’t help but wonder if a comparable barbell  or kettlebell would be as easy to lift off the deck, as a 21kg CRT lol.

In addition to the proverbial corn cob up my ass, I’ve finally managed to push my own button! Decided to shave for the first time in I’ve lost track how long, started wondering whether or not there’s still a human underneath it all. And then I cut my throat lol. Over the years I’ve become quite adapt at shaving with a very bad mood, and never leaving a scratch; which makes this all the more infuriating. Couple paper towels and a bit of red stuff later, it’s settled down.

and now I am officially pissed.