A glance …

One paramount factor, is my mind constantly processes and evaluates multiple “Atoms” of data, for lack of a better word. Near simultaneously crunching away at relevant atoms, both processing new ones and refactoring existing ones in light of continued thinking, and supplementary atoms.

I don’t know how to explain it, without phrasing it much like a computer copes with multi-processing, or a significantly greater understanding of cognitive science then I possess, and I’m a programmer at heart, not a neurologist. If I knew someone with that kind of knowledge, I would probably ask whether the brains ability to handle things in parallel is built into our physiology, or just a learned ‘trick’ like multitasking on a uniprocessor system. (Ok, everyone’s asleep while my geeky brain drifts off, hehe.)

I refer to titbits of data as an “Atom”, because it is the most fitting word. While not to be confused with the meaning of atoms as understood in chemistry or physics, so much that cutting chunks of data into still smaller scalaresque elements would serve little purpose. The word stimuli might be more appropriate but hey, I’m not an English teacher.

Input sources for these so called atoms of data, can be virtually anything; ranging from what’s under ones nose, to past experiences, or established references. In thinking, my mind processes enormous amounts of data, proportionate of course, to the amount of data I may gather! Every atom is constantly evaluated, weighted in the context of it’s value and studied from a probabilistic perspective.

Over the course of my life, I’ve learned to be quite adapt at the gathering of information, in any topic or subject that I choose to pursue suitably. More then a few times, I’ve astounded people by quickly gathering an input set, and coming to a conclusion based on that data, in fairly short order compared to most of my peers. The ability to search for information should never be overrated, and controlling access to information can be crucial to manipulating an enemies reaction, but denying it and permitting its dissemination. That of course being said, I believe strongly in the freedom of information Growing up next to a set of mouldy encyclopaedias and a dusty double volume of Funk & Wagnails dictionary, it wasn’t very long after I learned how to read (well), that I would start learning how to gather and process resources of information efficiently. Libraries, technical manuals, even consulting more learned individuals than myself. Perhaps I should also be eternally grateful to Mage, for introducing me to a search engine that doesn’t suck! After gaining a measure of internet access around 1996-1997, I had found little use for the web beyond answering the quest for intel on any given topic of interest. That being said, I never came to make positive use of the Internet until closer to 2000.

Once I have information, I process it thoroughly, both in context and at many instances, off the wall as well. As I said previously, everything is weighted (it is also mentally tagged), helping me gauge the importance of any given atom towards arriving at a workable conclusion. Based on what I know, I also apply ample consideration for the likely hood of any meaning that may be possible. In terms of what may be possible, or the so called sample space, is something often run together in my head, and computed there as well, rather then done straight using numbers. Should we say, my mind operates on a level where the most relevant atoms are not necessarily easy to express as a number, yet may be readily thought of as if it were. Earlier this week, I told a friend that between 0 and 1, my grasp of the possibilities for most things I think at, often has the capacity to go beyond what the number of digits an average persons calculator can express to the right of a decimal point. The depth of my thoughts can often be compared to a typical person taking twenty years cracking at it… lol. Ok, so I think a freaking lot.

In building away at what I know, in order to put it to some applicable use, my reasoning is fairly varied, an art form if you will. I combine what may be inferred with what one may wager, and fairly carefully gauge the potential follow ons. Using both what I know and an an increasing understanding of what I don’t know, to arrive at the end of the line. One of my favourite jokes, goes something like this:

An astronomer, a physicist and a mathematician are on a train in Scotland. The astronomer looks out of the window, sees a black sheep standing in a field, and remarks, “How odd. Scottish sheep are black.” “No, no, no!” says the physicist. “Only some Scottish sheep are black.” The mathematician rolls his eyes at his companions’ muddled thinking and says, “In Scotland, there is at least one sheep, at least one side of which looks black.”

 You must always check your facts ^_^.

Most things I think about in depth, do not require very precise processing (someone I know, might call it a lack of rigour), only a disciplined and orderly analysis of atoms. Experience as a programmer as well as much time spent labouring over questions of “How does sth work”, has thought me much of that. Organised thinking is a very valuable asset, to any reasonable individual.

It can never be said enough however, that the sources of atoms most also be evaluated as much as the atoms themselves (fellow coders might call this a form of mental taint checking). Sources are important, check and discriminate them! One can learn much from a study of historiography, if the words primary source and secondary source mean nothing, you should probably repeat part of school… and try not to sleep through it this time 😛 (that or have your old history teacher fired). Many people who berate resources such as Wikipedia, often need to learn the value of checking multiple sources, and strongly taint checking the atoms that go through your brain.

When dealing with matters of intelligence6, it is even more important to consider the validity of ones sources, and it’s meaning. Perhaps the best examples of this, would involve a game of poker or a peek at a handful of agencies, but hey, go learn it yourself. I am very objective of the information I process, as well as in that which I promulgate. Some of the more shadowy figures who follow my journal every now and then, will no doubt have comprehended that, if they themselves possess any understanding of intelligence analysis.

In the course of my life, I’ve found digging into solid sources as well as concise overviews of any subject matter, also to be a worth while pair. I have never allowed anyone or anything to influence my opinion, so much as I search for and study the factual data, and what may be proven through it; and despite the marbles that sometimes rattle too and fro, my mind does not settle lightly without good reason.

Earlier I noted that all of this stuff, occurs fairly simultaneously. At any given time, my brain normally follows about 2 1/2 to 3 trains of thought, and regularly the impacts of mental operations upon one atom, will affect dozens of other atoms, not always related ones either for that matter. (I love phrasing things like that :-P.) Being able to follow trains of logic and reason while gathering more data, and to do so concurrently is inherently a valuable skill to learn. Perhaps I owe this one, to having to often (ab)use my computers capabilities at multi-tasking whenever I’m around, and thus my mind had to adapt to take advantage of it.

Practical experience in a matter, as well as taking into account evaluations from others also plays a roll in things. One interesting example, SAS has placed me so many times into planning and leading missions, I often have the perspicacity to tell when something appears sound coming from a younger Element Leader, but is really a load of marlarky. Such usually becomes obvious under scrutiny. Ones experiences however, can not override all other considerations, after all, just because you’ve never seen a winged horse in the sky, does not rule out the possibility that such a creature could [have] exist[ed] somewhere in the universe.

Poor it all in a mythical brew, and you have an interesting if verbose summery, expressing parallel application of deductive and inductive reasoning, contextual evaluation, systematic thinking, respect for probability, taint checking, experience, and more then a few techniques for analysis that I care not to mention publically. Growing tired, perhaps it might just be more succinct to explain my mental processes as a form of a deep magic that describes my minds fundamental functioning. Some other people still work on the spaghetti theory.

Oh wells :-/

I’ve learned two things tonight

  • Windows Services are really easy to work with.
  • If you use a big enough shoe horn, you can fill in the missing parts built into most unixes.
  • There has yet to be any Unreal Engine based game made, that doesn’t suck. At least, that wasn’t developed by Epic.
I say learned two things, because I already knew the third :-P.
Those who don’t understand the third point, are likely admitting their incompetence.

Well here I sit, working out my plans for the weekend. After sorting a few things on the spot, and spending some time on what I’ll just call a spurt of stuff to hammer out, so I doubt tonight will be highly productive. It’s the little bit of rest I get before I have to get cracking away on stuff in the morning.

Besides digging into a few thousand pages worth of book, in the chopping block includes:

  • Compile and test X.Org 7.5 on Dixie.
  • Finish my review of PC-BSD 8.
  • Complete the new auxiliary “Snipers” path on my Private Airport (kai) map.
  • A few SAS related details I won’t mention here
  • Get the plots sorted for the next 3 live ops (;)

Also, there’s something I have been meaning to do for awhile, refactoring the common and system modules of Stargella. The idea I’m thinking of, is merging them into a singluar “core”,  and numerous other related changes. Mostly in relation to compiler support and hooking in the render module. Two points of research, being to depreciate the FreeBSD/GCC builds with Code::Blocks in favour of a recursive GNU Make, and perhaps also NMake for Microsoft’s compiler. I would also like to experiment with supporting the Portable C Compiler (pcc), which entails either system modifications to FreeBSDs header files, or some redesign work on the games code.

I have multiple compilers available to me, several versions of GNU, the legendary PCC and Watcom compilers, and the express edition of MS Visual C++ 9.0. The only supported compilers for my project, are GCC and MSVC, under unix and windows based systems respectively. When ever possible things should be usable with most (reasonably) standards compliant C compilers. Not that Microsoft’s compiler is one. The main reason I don’t do mingw or watcom builds under Windows, is it’s just easier to go a strict MSVC route, when it comes to handling the dependencies. If it wasn’t for that, I would actually go as far as supporting as many compilers as possible.

One thing that really pisses me off, is even after 40 years or so, stitching together makefiles by hand is still one of the best ways to build stuff o/

I’ve nether yet fallen off the earth, or finally laid down and died; I’ve just been busier then a Japanese beaver doing over time.

It’s just one of those nights….

… where I’m to restless about getting things done, yet to freaking tired to actually get anything of value done. I’ve already spent most of the day like a humming bird, even while on an RvS break; so it’s starting to get ridiculous lol.

For the past few days, I’ve been pondering ideas and looking at where I would like to be in the next ten years. Of course, getting through this year is a prerequisite 8=). I tend to analyze things systematically, so it’s a problem I engage no differently then any other, it is merely a bigger issue to study. At present Operation Redeemer is proceeding at a terribly slow pace, one that’s being forced upon me o/, and likewise data also suggests this will increase the odds of later being shafted before things conclude. Experience has shown me that families either represents the finest support system ever created, or the exact opposite: matter and anti-matter. Sadly with about the same impact on moving forward, only useful with a warp core and containment field. The principal agenda guiding my short term plans (Redeemer), is focused on brushing away the obstacles that make any larger aims, an utter impossibility. Ever being who I am inside, of course I’ve gotta lay foundation on later plans too. In the end though, only time can tell the future.

At the more immediate moment, I’m just whipped. There’s no shelter from exhaustion at this point, and probably never will be in my life: that’s one reason that I tend to take things one day at a time. I’m so fucking tired, yet hate to watch the hours go by without getting anything practical done. I also know, working on most of the stuff that needs doing, isn’t wise when I feel like passin’ out.

The crappy thing is, if I log off now, either I’ll be wide awake in a couple of hours (and back in the same boat), or by the time dawn rolls around, I’ll feel like slamming my sleep starved head into a wall, o/.

After getting my CP back in January, I’ve finally gotten to put it to good use: in our old churches back parking yard. My mother also has, for lack of being able to spell the Italian word coming to mind, I’ll just describe as having gained injured nerves >_>.

I’ve known the theorem and mechanics of driving since I was like eight or nine, so my focal point is on filling the experience gap. Ma has been driving the same ’93 F.O.R.D. for almost as many years as its been off the assembly line, and knows its handling inside and out; I don’t. Unlike my mother however, I can trivially calculate the distance between the car and what’s around it, stuff like that is a skill I’ve developed over the years, I can both feel it and fill the missing picture in, based on what my mind has already seen. Thus getting to close to the curbing means either I miscalculated the difference between the steering wheel, and the actual wheels current vectors, or it took to long for my foot to shift between pedals: not that I can’t see where I’m going 8=). Towards the beginning, I had to threaten my mother to shut up and stop grabbing at my arm, or I would retaliate either by (intentionally) taking the car over the curb, or make her stand outside and watch. I don’t give a fuck if there’s more racket going on then in a warzone, jabber all you like, but don’t interfere! Geeze I’m not an idiot, I know better to go over the curb; and that stopped as soon as she stopped jacking the wheel towards the curbing, whenever the car got too close. See, don’t bother me, and things get done properly -.-

My mother is insanely short, and to narrow minded to assume others have the same visual problems that induces. What can I say, when I first sat down in the drivers seat I nearly knocked my glasses off, and had my head angled funny, just to avoid cracking it on the ceiling… and I’m vertically challenged myself. Just getting the seat and steering wheel adjusted was a feat, involving suspending myself over the cleaning supplies in back, in order to clear to crap out of the way so the seat would have somewhere to slide back to, and then trying to extricate myself, without castration, broken legs, or a sliced open belly. It felt like hanging myself from the cars interior roof, and applying a spiders agility lol.

The area I had for practice, is just two sets of parking spaces several car lengths long, joined by very tight turns on either end. Small enough to require paying close attention, yet empty enough to only have to worry about one parked car, hehe. Did several dozen laps around the yard over an hours time, including a K-turn to go about the other way. Started out going at the engines idle speed, before studying how she handles under different patterns of acceleration and breaking; I doubt if a claustrophobic amount of practice space in is a good thing for a noob, but I never the less, take it scientifically. For me, it is very important to learn how the vehicle handles, because I’m not going to be responsible for taking it on the road, unless I know it well enough to keep the damn thing under control. I’m crazy, but I’m not suicidal :-P.

Three things that I noticed about the family Ford: the old accelerator has a hair thin trigger, it’s got a fat arse when it comes to rate of angle change in reverse, and exactly like in dreams that I’ve had about driving, the car will move forward even with foot off the accelerator. After 16-17 years of reading the dashboard sticker that says, “To shift from park, depress break pedal” in English and French, I of course remembered to do that without hesitation. I could probably understand the thing in spoken French by now o/.

Unlike my brother many moons ago, I opted to keep things under tight control while practising. Heh, I can still remember when Reese got his learners, and ended up zipping around a large Sports Authority parking lot like a bat out of hell. At least, I was seat belted into the rear drivers side seat, and spent most of his learning sessions being plastered against the rear passenger side window, lol.

Now the big question, is how many months will it take before I get more time to practice o/.

This weekends multi-part plan

  1. shave off the moustache and company; done
  2. get a hair cut; hopefully sorted before Monday
  3. a long shower; done as soon as the mops and laundry gtfomw
  4. finish pc-bsd v8 review
  5. report Stargellas sysio code to windows; stupid rsync screw overs…
With luck by Monday, I’ll both feel less like Chewbacca the Wookie and have a lot of work done, hehe.

One of the things that has been resting on my mind, is working on my game projects and raven shield admin system. I do believe, that I’ve figured out a way that I can augment my engines capabilities without breaking down portability to much, and still retaining the “C” language factor ;). I’ve also decided that my RvS admin tool, will likely benefit if I complete my games net code, and integrate it in place of the existing networking code it uses.

I’ve three game projects, generic titles being StarFighterGame, TacFPSGame, and MechCombatGame; each chosen for their obvious descriptiveness in place of an iron clad title. StarFighterGame, has been awarded the title of “Stargellas Revenge ©”, and the others are still to be decided. Story wise, Stargellas Revenge is green light, it just needs the game code and assets to catch up with it. I have the general overview for TacFPSGames story and enough design details set, but still can’t figure out a proper title. The ‘mech game, I’m thinking of splitting into two different games: one aimed at a combat simulation, and the other as a Real Time Strategy game, charting the “Bigger picture”.Story wise, things need to develop further, as well as growing a title. On the one side, I’m thinking some what along the lines of an epic war meets small scale tactical warfare, and some hordes of enemies to mow down for the action cravers, hehe.

The code backing my game projects, is engineered to be highly portable, and suitable for producing most any kind of game. My primary focuses, more or less follow the styles of arcade and simulation games, but alas, I prefer flexibility over rewriting crap later on, hehe. I could do so much more if I had more to work with :'(.

I haven’t been getting much rest lately, although a fair bit of sleep. My dreams have been weird, ranging from caring for the best friend I’ve ever had, to struggling with more difficult adversaries. It’s kind of strange, because I generally don’t dream about the dead :-/. The only good thing I can say, is despite a few disturbing things, going to bed ’round 0200 local sure beats 0700, lol.

My minds focused on getting stuff done, and trying to rack up some R&R. Which leads to my new official Quake motto is “Fuck’em all, and let John sort’em out”. With the wifi being a bit more upity lately, I’ve mostly been hanging around Raven Shield the past couple weeks; unlike SWAT 4, in RvS if you lag out in the middle of a gun battle, it tends to increase your survival rate, rather then negate it.

Yet I still have a tendency to lag up and fall off into deep space when playing Quake :-(. Although I must admit, even with my wireless freeze frames every two minutes or so, I’m actually getting quite good at handling them, but there’s only so much you can do when it’s in mid air lol. Last night I got plugged off an arena platform, and died with rocket launcher in hand, because I lagged up and missed the chance to rocket myself onto a nearby jump pad for a last minute save.