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I had plans for about 4-5 entries today but just not enough strength for it :-/. It’s been one of those crazy / hectic / mess of a days! The only nice part was an hour or so of SWAT before work, most of which passed peacefully.

I’ve had to work most of the day, double or triple wammies are abound lately, and having to deal with family through it all (ugh) does not help things. To top it off, I’m basically working the next several weekends. Right now, I can’t wait for tomorrow to arrive: not because it means going to work sooner but because outside working hours, I can actually have some time to MYSELF, time that’s not under the thumb of any pain in the ass but my own whims, subject to the obvious numeral unno overrides from the heavens above.

I spent most of the work day like most others, thinking. There’s just no real mental stimulation in the crap I’m stuck doing, so it leaves my mind free to drift away: sometimes this is good and sometimes it is very bad. In today’s case, my thoughts have dwelt most strongly on where I would *rather* be, or should I now say, would rather have been 8=). To just sail away from the things of man, stick my toes in the sand of some sunny beach, layin’ there in trunks & shades with a cool drink in hand, and not a care in the world, beyond sunburn that is ^_^.

Aye, a spider can dream…. been much to damn long since I’ve had any major rest and relaxation, let along a proper vacation lol. Ahh, it would be so wonderful with this weather but unfortunately the distance is, oh what’s the word, prohibitive? I’ve been on the move so long lately, I can’t freaking think straight anymore. I could really use some solid down time but that’s not gonna happen, short of a miracle. As it stands, it will probably be August before I can stand down for a while, and even then it will likely be just an intermission between burn outs… sigh.

I am so tired of just passing the time away.

Ahh, sitting here with my foot in a pale of water & Epsom salt, laptop for the music and the dog for company lol. Fools Gold also just started, so I’m set for the next couple of hours. I love this movie, you can’t beat a good sense of humour xD. Fools Gold also reminds me how difficult it can be to get someone out of your life…

Just got out of RvS, figured it would be best to soak my foot now so I do get some sleep tonight. On the upside though, I don’t have to get up early tomorrow, unlike the rest of the week! Down side obviously being that I’ll be workin’ later hours tomorrow :'(. Today’s job was a headstart on Thursdays work load, all the heavy crap is starting to come out of the wood-works, sigh.

Continuing my hunt  over the eye glasses issue. H.R.P. has taken out a loan to deal with the cost, and it was the toe issue that pushed things over the edge lol. Ok, so many I should be thankful… if this thing ever heals correctly that is. Most people would use the phonebook, me? I use something called the Internet for my initial scouting ;). As usual I started with the cities website (more useful then most folk here would ever dream) an dhave since moved onto Google Maps. The best eye doctor I know of is quite a distance away, so local research is required. Seems that there are at least 4 optometry practices here, at least 2 of which look suitable. Interestingly, it seems that one of optometrist also comes from Ft. Lauderdale—as do I lol.

Ahh, I love the internet, who needs to dig out a copy of the yellow pages anymore?

Haven’t been updating my LJ much this week, as usual that means either I am highly depressed or extremely busy, and often both lol.

This week that has started also promises to be a very hard and busy one as well :-(.

The upside is Operation Redeemer may be moving ahead soon……

As much as I hate to not be working, I am kind of happy about this recent turn of events.

Yesterday the after work down-time was interrupted with a job interview: one that I’ve had apprehensive thoughts about, in regard to Operation Redeemer. We didn’t get it and apparently, my remarks about “32 hours” and needing 12 people to do the job, “Queered it” as H.R.P. put it. I also reminded my mother that she should be careful what she wishes for, since she had asked me to speak up! For better or worse, I prefer to speak honestly and don’t like to mince words. Also on the flip side, we got something else (and less painful).

Thursday was supposed to be a trial-run, in which I have wondered just how much stuff could be done in 6 hours of labour. The place is so big, to clear it from a SWAT point of view, would take 20 men and at least 5 minutes. Cleaning the place as a 2-schmuck team would take all week! It is just to freaking BIG.

As I often say, things always balance out in the end. The 2 jobs that virtually evaporated have also come back online in force, and after yesterdays interview, H.R.P. is most certainly less inclined to whine about them lol. For me, work is work; that’s roughly all there is to it. Although that being said, I would love to have a career that I can wake up in the morning and actually want to do the job :-/. (Ok, so a crazy spider can dream…)

The positive side is that

Today I woke up feeling like microwaved crap and a headache to match; you have a pulse, you report for work—that’s the way it is.

The thing that really cheered me up today, was my roughly annual periodic weigh in. Last year it was like 180~182 lbs (~82kg), today the scale read 160 lbs (~72.575kg) which is a much more comfortable range for me… lol. I’ve never wanted to go much past 180, and for much of the last decade, have been gaining around 10lbs (4.5kg) a year.

What’s changed between today and the last time I set foot on a scale? Not a whole lot really, the real food in my diet is likely worse on calories then ever before; but I have largely cut out junk food and snacks. When I do snack, it is usually something healthy like a bowl of Special-K or a banana. That being said, I only eat about 2 meals a day lol.

For virtually my entire life I’ve only had soda as my staple drink, usually about 1 litre a day. In 2008, I basically switched totally to drinking water at roughly 1 1/4 to 1 2/3 litres a day.

When it comes to exercise, I basically get none outside of work and walking the dog. The last several years have had my room used for storage and laundry racks, resulting in a bogus amount of space—being cooped up in this hellhole doesn’t help either. Who knows, maybe misery and depression are a better form of weight loss then diet and exercise… :-/. If this toe ever gets back to a suitable point, that I can accomplish reverse lunges without stumbling, I can start exercising. Moving things around and systematically pushing crap out, has helped double my effective free-space in my room…. and a major goal of Operation Redeemer is the freedom to GTFO of here periodically.

Normally I carry Willow out to where we walk, and occasionally let her walk the way home: if she will cooperate. Today, I told Willow that “You probably need the exercise more then I do”, and let her jog there. When it was time to come home, she looked at me with a nasty glint and decided we would jog home—and pooped out along the way! Hahahaha!

Who knows maybe Operation Redeemer would be good for my health, if family doesn’t chuck a spanner down its neck…..

Recently I have been thinking about 2 items on my bucket list. More specficially, the two most integer goals…

My thoughts on it haunt me, and the probability of ever seeing those core desires realized is an especially depressing thought. Those that know me fairly well, could likely hazard a few guesses at what those desires are, and hopefully get at least one right lol. I am wondering, even if I ever see them realized, will there be enough left of me, to furfil them? Alas, only time will tell that tale.

Time, such a precious commodity, like a grain of sand slipping through the neck of an hour glass Oh how I wish I could see my goals bear fruit…

Woke up feeling like someone was taking the hands around my head and just squeezing it, plus a mild toothache on the larboard side. The work schedule has been turned up on it’s ear, and it’s coming into that time of year when business starts to evaporate… which does not hold very well for Operation Redeemers goals :-/.

If I wasn’t owed money, I would actually have a chance to supercharge this part of the operation, instead of being S.O.L. All things considered, if I wasn’t owed, I would be being asked for a loan, as far the current state of my families finances goes lol.

What is it about certain songs that can touch a piece of us? That special something that lets you build a rapport with our listening ears? My view is that it is the music that connects with a part of who we are, where we’ve been, and what we’ve been through; much like the subject of the last song-lyrics I posted goes on about.

Most people that I know, there tastes in music in some way reflect their lives. For me and one friend in particular, I’ve noted songs that we enjoy tend to be of a more ‘pleasurable-painful’ nature. Music that can make you remember the old hurts and the old joys gone by, and in some odd way let you touch base with that emotion and feel better for still being able to feel anything that all: or perhaps its just the parts of our existence just plain suck lol.

The songs that I love the most, tend not to be “happy” in nature, but more of a long sad tune. If it’s hit my playlist countless times or I take time to stop and listen to it over the radio, odds are it invokes a strong emotion somewhere.

Someday I think it would be cool to read a systematic survey that tries to map peoples experiences to their musical tastes, but such a thing would be rather tricky to get any meaningful result IMHO.

Well on the upside, I’ve been managing to get to bed fairly early (0200-0300) and waking up near (0830~0845) the final target mark (0700~0730), and all without having to invoke the alarm clock lol.

The problem is getting used to getting UP that early when I don’t got to go to work. I think I’ve woken up and fallen asleep at least 4 or 5 times before rolling out around 1151 :-/. Practice makes perfect and eventually that should be dealt with, hehe.

I’ve also been playing so much SWAT 4 and mucking with the Department of Agriculture map—I’m starting to dream about playing it!

Sheesh, I think it’s gonna take this crappy-printer longer to print my lesson plan, then it took to write it lol.

I used restructured text and fed it through rst2html, then generated a PostScript file using Mozilla Firefox; it’s only about 3 pages long…

It took about 7 minutes per page… and it’s all plain text :-/

* printer is a Deskjet D1455 supported by GS/HPIJS/Foomatic and hooked up to the LPD/Line Printer Daemon.