Temptational joke

Three Distros for the Elven-kings under the sky,
Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,
Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die,
One for the Steve Ballmer on his dark throne
In the Land of Redmond where the $hadow$ lie.
One distro to rule them all, One Ring to find them,
One distro to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
In the Land of Redmond where the $hadow$ lie.