Breathin’ in and out.


Life’s really been quite a lot of just keep putting one foot in front of the other lately.

Most of my time spent workin’ all day or slavin’ over some project, and my nights login’ for something more.

I’m currently sitting on about $300… My grandfather sent me money for my birthday early. I was a bit worried that he might’ve sent it because he could’ve thought he might not be here come June… But my aunt says he’s doing pretty well now. To be honest, I’d rather have my Grandfather then the money.

All I’ve ever really wanted from him for my birthday is a birthday card, never have gotten one though… But as my mom says it’s just not his way of doing things :.

For me it’s largely just another day, but I don’t say that aloud because my father would say the same thing lol. I know I’m going to get stuck buying clothes and the sad thing is I agree, I need to lol. Most of my clothes are getting to be like rags between the holes, rips, and clorox stains between home and work wear & tear. You could say I’m a lot like my father, when I like my clothes I wear those and not much else, and I wear them until they fall apart. I remember my mother telling me that when he died, he held up a pair of his jeans and could see light shining through them, they were so thin ! And yes my shoes are usually splitting apart by the time I’ll agree to buying new ones 😛

I’ve alloted a budget of $150 which is enough to replace everything I essentially wear and enough of it to last. Very hard for me to do it… Although I’ve never had a problem with spending inordinate amounts of money, I’m a very well thought out person when it comes to spending money, because I never have any to spend lol.

I know the value of a buck, and when they are rare you learn to spend it wisely ’cause if you don’t, ya ain’t gonna get another chance. If I ever had a real sum of money I think I would invest it, grow it so it could be used for some thing worth while someday. Hell, if you could save even $1 everyday, you could have over $3,600 in 10 years. in just over 40 years you’d have like $15,000. I’m not a big fan of spending money on myself, so it’s probably good to be single atm.. Other wise I probably would be doubly broke lol.

I also utterly hate shopping, at least when oogling computer parts isn’t involved that is >_<. I know exactly whats on the target list, and the raid will be conducted with brutal military efficiency ! Anyone planning on doing any 'one more thing' ing is gonna wind up in the dust rail hehe. Getting me to go shopping _willingly_ is a feat of it's own, let along to get me to waste time at it ^_^. One thing I do know, since 75-80% of my wardrobe isn't used, if I'm paying -> I’m chucking everything I don’t want (give away, donate, or trash), along with the throwing out the ‘rags’ that I’m stuck doing away with hehe.

I’m also getting a new headset one way or the other… Don’t know if I’ll be able to order it off the web but I’ve got a nice pair of Sennheisen lined up with a mic. Last time I had to open Ghost a slot in PG#1, I needed to ask Big12 to come on TS to tell Ghost when the slot was opened for him… Because his laptop can’t handle XFire and I can’t talk over TeamSpeak with a Mic, and texting over TS doesn’t help when the other parties full screen in Rvs lol.

I need to save a bit for school and I’m not sure how that is going to work out…, But having the funds stored will be helpful for it. Although I’d rather like to upgrade my laptops memory while I can it’s not important.

512MB of PC2700 ain’t terribly fast but it gets the job done. For $300 I could get a barebones kit and scrape together some parts from another PC and get a 5th machine running in this house but I don’t really need another computer, for the cost of some PC2100 DDR and a Wireless card I could get a junked PC I’ve got here running anyway.

I once set aside a $100 to do some thing I’ve always wanted, make a donation to my clan… But family managed to bleed me dry before I could. Things are going well with [SAS] in that regard because of our members, one reason I’ve always wanted to donate is because I know whose asses the bills come out of at the end of the day. Because of my family, even if I did managed to succeed in it I wouldn’t trust the USPS as much as Random to get it to the right place and that’d be my only option 😐

So I guess that’s out, I don’t really care much for spending money on myself, aside from more computers that is >_> but as much as I really would like to take most of the $300 I’ve got and just


for the future. I know if I don’t spend it, I’ll eventually spend it on my family eventually when they run short lol.

It don’t ‘pay’ to be a nice guy you could say but, I’m who and what I am.