Looking through my live journal

Been perusing old entries, starting from Day One.

Somethings to catch my minds eye, I was a LCpl in [SAS] at the time. My laptop is at leas 2 years old, found the day I was made a Cpl. A few memories of my early programs (mostly C), the time I started to learn HTML. Read a fair bit of my computing history, and certainly hoping that my grammar has improved a /little/ bit since then, haha. General reminder, that I hate cups and samba for the most part, then again? I hate printers to start with lol. My initial encounters with various programs, and even testing PC-BSD, gee… it always has been lacking polish, ain’t it?

Certainly notable that over the past year and a half, my use of profanity has had it’s surges and falls, but much higher then it once was.

Found my PC-BSD Users Review, which kinda took on a small life of it’s own, I eventually locked the commenting for spams sake, the PC-BSD v1.2 release is ancient history; to most people other then myself. Found one on how I joined [SAS], and some history since. Found what looks like an extended version of my ~/.vimrc file. Which has seen at least 2 or 3 rewrites for all intents and purposes over the years. My current vimrc, residing safely in a private CVS server, where I can quickly check in / out revisions to it from any of my boxes.

Hmm, I remember how pissed I was at the Win4BSD incident, in which the lead developer of PC-BSD released a PBI that broke the rules; but hey, it was done for a company, so he changed the rules on us… We later got them to change it back, when PBIs were at, so far there 1st or 2nd lowest in quality control. I say 1st or 2nd, because I’m not sure what was worse… The amount of people it fucked, or the other most worse one, which was largely a maintenance problem. This looks like my cool down, now that I read it, I’m actually kind of disappointed when I look back upon PBIs history; between then and now.

Dug up an old memory, ahh… When the idea of automating the creation of PBI was purposed and laughed at as “impossible”, I took up a personal challenge to try and create a tool to do it. I learned a lot about designing programs from it’s successes and failures, whatever value it had, the fatal flaw of it all? Was having to depend on PC-BSDs PBC program to create the PBI files. That is basically what derailed the project, so it never came to fruition. I can even see how much the scripting API for PBC has changed since those days, now instead of being useless, it’s a brain damaged form of assembly; unless you want to make horse crap.

I feel just how abusive my todo lists and such things have been over the year, abusive to my free time. But, well? I do have my reasons, and their are worse solutions to workohol.

Just stumbled on the first version of my Vi User How-to. I used to have that in my sigblock on PC-BSDs support forum, until I decided it was time to rewrite it into something a bit better for learning Vi form. In fact, I’ve got the LaTeX files in my home directory somewhere, but I never finished it. Just to much other crap to take care of :. Hmm, something on PC-BSD and QEMU (the emulator).I’ve still got the text of it stored in ~/Documents/Computers/HOWTOs/QEMU_Howto.txt.

I can see, some of the ebbs and flows in my ways of programming things. And how much I’ve come to like revision control for some things hehe. Although, I still operate on a system of zip/tar files for most of it. I’ve got things that I really want under revision control, tucked away in the CVS server. I’m kinda glad, that I post more links in my journal entries now; there were a few things, I really would like to check the cross references with. Heh, a lot of times when I post, I can see these little ^[1] boxes in my sentences, where my brain makes wiki-links to the thoughts they represent. Now, I just post links and save myself the trouble 2 years later ^_^. And I can see some of my frustations, past and present in my posts. Sometimes I wonder, is my life better or worse then it once was? Although, I have to admit… There were times when I was much more miserable then these times of late.

Heh, found the time I went paranoid with upgrading seamonkey. Kinda before I really started logging various interactions with my system. (Later) posts on setting up Samba, MySQL, various upgrades and what not remind me just how much I’ve used (and abused) my live journal as a post it for notes. I can also see, just how slow my studies of the German language have been… to little time. Honestly, I don’t think I’ll ever reach my goals, but at least I can enjoy as much of it, as I am able to learn. I would love someday, to be able to read/write/speak German well enough, that I could get around a German city just as good as an American city. As long as I have access to a dictionary for words I don’t know, I can generally read well enough, but composition is a bit crappy. And I’m not even going t comptemplate my speech, let’s just say; my voice does not do such a fine language any justice!

Mmm, just found a report on my fifth live op. I’ve playd in many a live op, not so many these days… Since the maps these young whipper snappers, hell? What am I saying lol. I’m talking about our current SNCOs >_>, but any ways… They tend to dig up maps, that I’ve played on or used to train myself on. I guess, that’s a price of being around [SAS] so long. That reminds me, I still never got the sound bites done; I need them to finish my “live week” that became a live year, that’s now been over 2 years in the running I think lol.

I could count how many live ops I’ve been in, and how many I have conducted… but I’m not gonna lol.

Even found an old script that I made, a more complex version of a quickie I did when the Amarok PBI broke a few things. I’ve used a much better and simpler form of it, on numerous occasions. Both for my own projects, and occasionally in PBI’s that I had made. Hmm, here is one of the very few times I’ve felt threated for my families safety.

I can see, in reading my old posts, how much life has gotten to me in some ways. To quote myself, “I think, I hate my life…. dispair out rules joy I think, for me any way. “. Despite the various ups and downs I’ve had over the past 5 years, life is still pretty much the same, only I have even less of a life worth living.

Found an old posting on system backups under PC-BSD, never finished it. Still got the file, but never finished it. That reminds me, last year I had started work on a backup program for PC-BSD. It was a learning project for Qt, maybe 40% finished. Hmm, here is when Wiz, Me, Rasa, and Rouge; were promoted to troop captain, squadron sergeants major *2, and regimental sergeant major, respectively. As SSM, I always had to find work for me to do, as Captain poor Wiz had to work himself to the bone.

Hmm, a note about the Technical Manual to the NCC-1701D U.S.S. Enterprise, been ages since I’ve read that book. I loved reading that book when I was younger, lol. I can see some of the various mission plans and tactical ideas I’ve posted here between public/private. I can als see, the times when my work load in real life was at it’s more extreme levels. There was a time, when I was working 2 to 3 gigs a day, every day of the week, with only 1 or 2 days off during the entire month… Oh man, that was living hell.

I can see how very much, my family has managed to piss me off during my off work hours, usually spent trying to work on things, or wasting time until I could work on stuff lol. Less of a problem now, more of a way of life… Even my general response to it, seeing the choice for destruction or construction, I took the constructive route.

Ahh, the eventual fait of my Lexar UFD. I remember being happy I got my e-mail and stuff off the drive, before the case finally split. $65 wasted, because of laying in bed with a laptop, and having to get up every five damn minutes to do things around the house lol. The USB drive got bent apart, picking up / putting down the laptop on the bed all the time, *sigh*. The search to remedy the loss, was a long one. Spanning Samba, SSHFS, NFS, and eventually falling into total disuse lol. As well as various attempts to solve the e-mail/bookmarks situation, which has ended in webmail (gmail) and online bookmark storage (ma.gnolia)

I see, my rise from admin teams little helper, to admin team member, and getting transitioned to webmaster in [SAS]. Various posts of humour, media, songs I’ve liked, dreams I’ve dreamt, etc. Various screen shots of my laptops user interface, been a long time since I’ve rearranged it. Been a long time since I’ve /needed/ to, I guess that my work flow has gotten more of a efficient rut to it now lol. Hmm, notes on various stuff I’ve made note to buy, but usually never had the chance :. Hmm, even found an interesting system tweak, that’s so old it doesn’t work anymore hahaha.

Various things about movies and programs. Hmm, that how evil are you thing.

You Are 16% Evil

You are good. So good, that you make evil people squirm. Just remember, you may need to turn to the dark side to get what you want!

Looks like I’ve put on 2% in the past year and 3 quarters, not sure if I like that :.

Ooo, the first time I ever made it into the stance, mmm, wish I was a more athletically inclined person really. Hmm, found a link I never got around to reading, about in-line assembly under GCC, never got around to learning much of assembly on the Pentium either…

Various projects that I’ve worked on, a few unpublished SWAT 4 mods, the [SAS] skins, Neo Ports Manager, various helpers or time passing apps, site work, work on the SOP rewrites, diving deeper into code, and a more recent but classified programming project. Hmm, first dates with Qt, Sockets programming, the Curses library, Python, OpenBSD, pax(1), AWK, Scheme, diff/path, gdb, particle physics, gcc front ends, MySQL, whatever.

Found the date, that I converted Vectra from FreeBSD to OpenBSD. It was my first install of OpenBSD. Some nice quotes. Various books I’ve read, some that I never finished. Groans of portability concerns, and trying to wrap myself into suitable tools. Mmm, the programming language I never had time to learn, but really would like to someday!

Hahha, my screen shot of abusing Firefox… with huge numbers of tabs open. Something that woke me up when I was sleepy, and made me go track it down, now if I still remembered the solution without having to dig up the code, lol.

The general notion, that the odds of ever having a job, which pays me for using my brain, is next to null… And more then a couple periods of frustration, with my family making it very hard on me to learn stuff of interest. Hmm, a number of times that I posted about the training sessions I’ve held in [SAS], it’s been awhile since I’ve really done those, Jonsi is a Trp now ^_^. Found a few screen shots from games, result of various personal training exercises. Times when data structures and algoritims were one of my most intense fascination’s. Oh, the day the freezer died, man if I had strength left, that would’ve been a long post lol.

The Troopers Call, something I wrote back when a teammate was still a young trooper.

Problems sleeping, being drowned in work, and a number of writings, some of which I actually forget to store in my personal folder.

Hmm, the time I was promoted to Regimental Srgeant Major in [SAS], Rouge to Captain and Wiz to Major, and a sigh of releaf on my face lol. Hmm, my notes both public/private on the “Claudia affair”. Some encounters with *DD* and other clans. A short story I wrote one late night, related to Volume III of a project I never finished.

The day Macy died in my arms, one of several short gigs out in the country, one of the several times I was stung or pissed off by PBI, and the incompentence of PC-BSD….

A review of a PC-BSD Beta release. Various todos, lists, plans, etc of work I’ve done on my laptop. I’ve installed PC-BSD on it several times over the years, even had Debian, Ubuntu, and FreeBSD on a 2nd partiton I rarely used. But now she runes FreeBSD, all the way baby!

Hmm, I see Live Journal just toggled to their “Undead Journal” theme ^_^.

Oh, this is a movie I haven’t seen in awhile! Hmm, a post about How old I am in terms of Recruits in [SAS], need to make a more up to date one of those one day. some plans for live ops, hehe. A rare but real ROFL momenet in my life. Getting interested in binary, hexadecimal, bitmasks, Strong Space. Ahh, some jokes.

Various looks public/private at maths related stuff, I really regret that I never had time to learn more of things that are of /real/ interest, way life is around here, I probably will never get to either :. Various postings, about software, todos, schedule, opinions, feelings, whatever. Hmm, even getting heavy into using Perl for a lot of programming/scripting stuff. I don’t use Perl a lot these days, but I often use it in situations that call for quick data processing or a game of golf. But I’ve really been trying to use Python for that stuff now, since I’ve been using Python as my standard scripting language now’re days.

Having to watch one of my master pieces crumble, that was a hell of a day, and I tell ya… that post doens’t even have half of the agony of it. Hmm, flirtation with lisp and the scheme dialect, been awhile since I’ve had time for scheme. Mmm, notes public/private on the Damocles Project, a semi-classified research and development bit I did when I was RSM. Hahaha, I haven’t said this in a little while, been leaving out the profane part most of the time ^_^.

Various stuff on my time in [SAS], public/private reflections. I do have a general policy, of keeping the necessary level of confidentiality, down to whats posted “for my eyes only” on my live journal. LOL, learning the ingredients of Riesens the hard way. Ahh, an important note on the Damocles Projects findings, think I’ve still got a (newer) hard copy somewhere. Note to self, encrypt it.

The blog file I kept during my 2nd working vacation, which was not as stressful as the first. Vacation, as in as close to one as I would get. Working, in the sense of having to take care of the bosses dogs, maintain area security, and clean lol.

Hmm, another reminder of a book I was writing. The first upgrade to my file server. Ahh, my stealth run on SAS hallway, found my attempts and frustrations trying to complete the ‘Spidey Speed Run Challenge’, which I had issued as an RSM, to encourage a higher level of training among recruits. It really nagged me, that I couldn’t do what I was asking others to do, so I had to set out and do it myself. Strangely, to this date, I am the only asshole to pull off passing my training challenge….. Ahh, my motto. And getting pissed at SWAT 4s game design.

The 10th Anniversary of my grandmothers death, which reminds me of the day just before the 11th anniversary. Mmm, a post I made about C Keywords, sorted by dialect (traditional, c89, c99). Java on FreeBSD, so easy hehe. This had to be one of my most frustrating times ever.

The time I found some jokes when I was half a sleep, after debugging some code. A rare couple of days off work for some R&R. Hmm, the time I tested KateOS, when I switched from KDE to WindowMaker on my PC-BSD install. One night when I got a bit playful with an algorithm for finding greatest common denominator (gcd), that I found on Wikipedia. I did a lot of tests later on, wonder if I still have the extra results stored… Hmm, some old links I posted on learning to manage stress, loool one of the times I’ve managed to drain my laptops battery, because I never plugged in the adapter, it’s really that rare I unplug it lol.

Most of the end of 2007 and beginning of 2008 was spent working on NPM, a project I really would like to finish sometime… but I’ve got so much other crap that demands dong :. Oh man, the Tiger Stripe skin prototype, I never could get it to work….

Oh yeah, the [SAS] Christmas Party, I wonder what we are doing this year hehehe. And something a bit more closer to the holiday.

I don’t know if I’m going to bother and look through the last ~10 months or so, One thing that does make me happy, there’s less of the things that litter my various document folders, then I managed to post between the start of this journal and the start of 2008. One thing I do know, I’m either grabbing some crisps or some ceral, and hitting the hay.

The only question is, will Willow let me have a place on my own bed, dogs take eveththing and they don’t give it back !!!