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I t hink I’msnapping..

I’ve tried switching to my laptop, practiclly locking my self in a room on the other side of the house.

Putting my laptops volume to the max with near max HW volume + 50+ % on Amarok & blasting music

Turning the TV volume as high as it goes and the Cable Box up so you not only can here me accross the house but probably in the next apartment and the apartment building !

AND I STILL CAN’T BE LEFT ALONE TO DO MY WORK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For petes frigging sake I should make these people read K&R Cover to cover and write a bloody operating system kernel and see how they like torture !

Morning:

Can’t do shit, have to walk dogs, clean up, do stuff, deal with ma’s computer functional illiteracy.

Afternoon:

Lunch, forums, first login, web-chores. Can’t do shit – dog and bird driving me batty.

Evening:

Dinner followed by can’t do shit

Wee Hours of the morning:

Freedom, can work till I collapse.

If working – probably can’t do shit, have to get up early.

TRYING TO DO ANY THING IN THIS HOUSE IS LIKE TRYING TO STUFF MY PH|-||_|{|<1||6 HEAD IN THE STREET IN THE PATH OF A FRIGGING 18-WHEELER AND LIVING AFTER BEING RAN OVER !!! I’m going f***ing crazy here. Peopole get paid to work for then 60 fucking hours a week on this shit and they won’t even alot me a few hours a day to work in piece. Even if I switch to my room, use the laptop. Kick the TV up so you can here it outside put headphones on and blast heavy metal till my ears hurt. THEY WONT FUC@ING LET ME SIT THE FSCK DOWN AND THINK ABOUT WHAT THE F&CK I’M DOING !!!!!
Its intolerable ! and moving out is not even a frigging hope let along an option.

An old hobby of mine, designing military hardware and organizing units. Maybe
its one of the reasons I got into the CBT (Classic BattleTech) side of things in
my MechWarrior career and love RTS (Real Time Strategy) games.

Any ways what I’ve been pondering over to night.

A simple ‘Element’ being the lowest level of the fighting force. Consisting of
ether 8 Infantry, 4 Land Vehicles, 2 Air/Sea/Space Craft under 500 Tons, or one
ship over 500 tons.

Two classes of infantry, soft armored and battle armored. Soft armored would be
more or less what we have to day. Using soft-body armor or hardened ceramic
armors (think Marines from ALIENS) and standard weapons. While battle armored
infantry would be fitted with a suit of armor. Figure avg trooper becomes
about 2 meters tall with a 3 meter jump height using the heating/cooling
management systems to assist the trooper. Armed with 6.2mm Rifles and 10mm
Pistols. And enough hard armor to shrug off a few standard rounds.

I remember reading that a round has to be > 22Cal but < 30Cal to really be
effective so I think a 6.2x48mm rifle round would be an interesting experiment.
As a trade off between 9mm and .45Cal pistols 10mm is also interesting in
concept. Instead of normal ammo the rifles would fire a special round. A 6.2mm
armor piecing round thats designed to explode when hitting hard objects. Like
walls or cars. Yet made to fragment instead of go kaboom when hitting soft
targets like people. If you figure the blast could have enough force to take
most of an arm off. Its much more humane to just kill the sap not blow them up.
And to have the balence that the micro HE stock is good reason for the enemy
to rethink how they armor their own troops while improving joe rifle mans
ability to hurt armored fighting vehicles 🙂

I think being centered around the idea of a Combined Arms Operations Company is
the best plan.

4 x Mechs, 1 Support unit, 1 Command unit, 2 Assaulter’s.
3 x Main Battle Tank
1 x Command/Control/Communications/Intelligence vehicle which can tow a pair of
field guns for use as part of an artillery unit.
1 x Self-propelled missile artillery or Infantry Fighting Vehicle (IFV).
8 x Infantry in battle armor or gun crews.
2 x Close Air Support units.

My ideal configuration would be. 8 Battle suited infantry supported by a
tracked or hover-craft driven IFV /w 4-tube Anti-Tank missile launcher & 45mm
Autocannon. Toss on a pair of 12.7mm Anti-Near-Anything fifty cals on the top
for balance.

3 Main Battle Tanks maybe 45-75 Tons each. 135-142mm rifled cannon with 40-60
shells. 3 12.7mm MG, two top mounted + one coax with about 1600 Rounds. A pair
of triple tube smoke discharges on the front of the turret plus a pair of
single shot recoilless anti-tank rocket tubes on the sides of it.

Yes I’m kind of a nut about packing in as many weapons as possible followed by
as much armor as she’ll hold without losing the desired level of agility/speed.
🙂 Hehehe

Two CAS units consisting of STOL (Short Take Off & Landing) capable strike
fighters powered with dual-engines. A pair of 25mm Vulcan cannons, pair of wing
tip mounted Air-To-Air medium range missiles al cine to real world AMRAAMs.
4 Internal bays for deploying two 3-tube micro-missile stations and two
stations holding two smart bombs or 3 air-to-ground missiles. (HRTSG-ATG) 2
Under wing stations (per wing) for 2x bombs or 3 x air-to-air /or air-to-ground
missiles + 1 more under wing stations (per wing) for an Air-To-Air missile. All
of these under wing stuff being at the cost of stealth that is. More or less a
pair of harrier jump jets on steroids !

Or even a pair of helicopters packing a 17mm chin gun slaved to the gunners
head. Dual 12.7mm electronically fired forward mounted machine guns for the
pilots use. Wing tip mounted 5-Tube rocket pods and two stations for 4x
Missiles on each stub wing. Where thers a mixture of TV guided wire controlled
fine stabilized anti-armor missiles and Hybrid Radar / Thermal Semi-self
Guiding Air-To-Ground (HRTSG-ATG) missiles. Now thats a painful combo hehe.

A ‘Mech element with a support unit with long range missiles, heavy cannon, or
long range weapons like a super long range sniper rifle/laser. Two general
battle configured ‘Mechs of the line, CQB Configurations, or Spec Ops Raiders.
Plus a Commanders ‘Mech.

Wheeled or Hovercraft based truck with AA ability to provide a mobile
command/control post with lots of communications and intelligence gathering
tools. Plus it could tow a few cannon for arty units.

8 Infantry in battle armor or a gun crew.

A Multiple Launch Rocket System (MLRS) like self-propelled missile artillery
unit for close’ish arty support on the go.

Total of about 4 mech, 3 tank, 1 MLRS, 1 command post, 8 infantry, 2 vtol/stol
units for air support.

A Lance Captain in charge backed by a lieutenant and a Gunnery Sergeant to run
the show. About 30 combat personal. Able to bring a lot of fire power to bear
on the enemy. Plus having enough combined arms to deal with most threats.

Now organize these CAOC into battalions of six + one company is full of
support personal and equipment. We have a big enough force to consider when one
counts armor and air power as the prime assets and infantry more so for close
in MOUT and Commando work.

24 ‘Mechs
18 Main Battle Tank
at least 6 pieces of missile artillery.
12 Attack Choppers / Fighter-Bombers
48 Infantry with battle armor
6 Command Trunks to provide logistics and communications.

Per battalion. Now if we organized the force into regional commands based on
Regiments of 2-4 Battalions where preferably we have a battalion capable of
operating on its own and a regiment capable of transporting itself any where in
or around the planet.

Organize logistics, support, and command systems around a Divisional level with
the Regimental Combat Teams making up the back bone of the military force. And
I think we might have a fun CBT style game to play, or a funky study in future
military tech.

Plus a naval unit to supply sea and space based operations. Plus air power like
what the USAF would be tasked with. You could say its my
battletech/gundam/macross loving background but I consider ‘Mechs and air power
the prime focus of a modular combined arms task force.

Hmm, if I had the time I think I’d write a TBS (Turn Based Strategy) game on
this…

Ahhh Rubin sandwhiches, a cheese bear claw and a litre of Mug root beer + a zonk’d out nap. Now thats how to take it easy after 3 sortes. Took the bosses dogs to the vet, came home got our dogs. Whent to work then dropped our dogs off at home. Then picked up the bosses dogs at the vet and took them to work. 0.o

Sigh, what do you do when life hands you a $>1+ burger and tells you to chow down ? To bad we can’t just send it back to the cook… I’ve got work extra early so I have to get to sleep ASAP, yeah like thats gonna happen. I know my self better then that. We’ve got to take 3 of the bosses dogs to get their teeth done. Then start a new job, then pick up the dogs. And Thursday not only do I have to do our biggest work day. But we also got to take the bosses other 3 dogs to the vet. Joy, me and Barny getting sat on and licked to death my Macy while Leo fiddles about… Barny is nearly 20 years old, blind and nearly deaf. Macy is bigger then me had if shes an ounce lighter then 70lbs I’d be shocked. Dogs the kind you give a WIDE birth and avoid getting sat on. But sweet as can be. Leo’s just a big loveable mutt of about 55-65lbs. And I’m gonna get sat on I know it, I just know it lol. I get up, I work, I try to get to sit on my ass for af ew. Try & get a few games in, do my work /w the [SAS] e.t.c. and its heck at times. While my moms ‘active’ on or off her couch. I can’t do a lot. Because I’m the errend boy and what ever I’m doing no matter what. Is and can never be more important then any thing she wants. Yeah, thats it. I see the FreeBSD kernel as a work of art to read, a thing of beauty. To my mom? Bah she’d probably call it worthless trash. When its just as much art as the works of Michelangelo (di Lodovico Buonarroti Simoni) Michelangelo had a talent with his hands and heart taken to sculpture. Just the same, in code form and engineering design from where I stand. So is the FreeBSD kernels sources. Damn its like reading the work of a master. Sigh, no coding to night. Since I have to go to bed.. not like I’m likely to sleep worth a fart in the wind. How can one sleep when ones mind is free in torment ? I dunno. Heck if I was a drinking man. I think I’d be stone cold by now, sad thing I’m not maybe.. *SIGH* Why, why… can’t things just work. I work like a dog, and what do I have to show for it? I’ve seen a do be treated better. Now thats kind of sad isn’t it? lol. ph|_|{|<. In a way, I miss times since past. Yet at the same times hate them with ernest. No longer a pet spider, not enslaved yet still forced to toil.. well I now I’m not making much sense but. To make a long story short. Don’t ask, just leave ‘pet spider’ alone, its an emotion thats not going any where fast. I remember, being able to spend hard times in the company of som eone ho cared.. it was a good thing. Who knows maybe I’ll again share such a thing with some one special. I know the relationship we had was, I admit in the end not the way it had began. Lol, the tease put out of conmission by the one who wouldn’t flex. Uhh never mind that too. Life was kinda good for awhile, but it did teach a very good lesson. When they stop complaining after you havn’t shaved a week and things heat up even more. Be alarmed, be very very alarmed. ph|_|{|< only one to get me to exersie. What the frig was I thinking man.. like I don’t get enough of that at work ha ! I dunno any more. Was life really any better that way then it is like this ? Some times I wonder..but I think it is, or at least no worse. Oh well, at least shes not around to tempt me… man I wish I could dive into some code for the night.. but no I’ve got to get to bed.

Ever think about some thing and not be able to get it out of ya head? Then when you try to you can’t remeber the details ? Hah I’m crazy. Oh well back to BBC Radio 1 and some ANSI C.

I have been perhapes, more greatly honored then I ever thought I could be.

Who knows, maybe they will put me to good use without over working my sorry @l2$$

My scratch pad.

>3. any tryout should be posted on the calendar so everyone in the clan
>knows that there will be a tryout. Before you make the appointment, the
>tryout administrators need to be all lined up.

Now if I could just wrangle a few people into the right position at the same time. If I have to, I’ll conduct this tryout my self although I’d really like it if a LCpl can do it.

Supplimental note to self, be more agressive if neccessary about getting people involved then come as you are lets get the flubber done on time.

Some how its ironic, mine is a gneration that may be best noted for ‘dis-functional’ familes. But mine tends to work on the un-functional side…

Sigh, back to code I guess.

Made to feel like a floor flushing heel just because I’m trying to learna new library and toy with an old program. Well, new library for me if not for the likes of people like Bill Joy….

Is it my fault that I couldn’t work on stuff during the day after work? Well I knew she was gonna change her bloody mind about not going out shopping today. So I didn’t start any thing, sure enough she did. Ya get a feel for it after awhile !

So, out of the store by 2215Z (1715 local) and home to what? Chores x 3 different fields. Few spare moments before dinner to type of the ncurses version of hello world, didn’t even have a chance to compile the puke. So after dinner, after putting the leftovers away with a chaptor of R6 in between. And being stuffed full of leftover pie she wants to get rid of (from Christmas/NYE). I finnally got some time, so I boot my laptop. I had been doing the leg work on Vectra from ssh on SAL so I could use Vi and GCC without that vile cmd.exe, worthless terminal emulator imho. Ma’s watching the soaps, lucky for me I have zsh set not to beep a lot…

Ya know its not exactly my fault that Vi does not give you the greatest warning that your at the EOF other then a BEEP. Sheesh man, I’m trying to _L E A R N_ some thing and I’m made to feel like a crimenal. What the heck… Oh and of course since its not my ‘School work’ it doesn’t matter worth a damn eh? Well pluck you – people used to go to college just to get access to a frigging compiler years ago !!! Let along having the internet to help learn about such things. Dang gum it.

She’ll raise all hell, tackle a bison to the ground if it denies her Respect but you so much as make a sound while the soaps are on and your on top of Amercias Most Wanted. Shes watching TV, some thing I as a former couch potato must of my younger life admit. I don’t do often – I’d rather learn some thing. Does she care? Not a fricking damn bit. If it was in the name of my over due biology test rather then trying to learn my way around ncurses. And skim threw a few files in /usr/src. I think she’d still treat me like this…

Its a sad fact I’ve been learning these days. That a man can starve tp death on a full belly. Some times I wish, I didn’t know that Luke 4:4 was right in more ways then I first thought.

I try to be respectful of others, I’m sorry for the beeps. I even asked if she wanted me to switch to the desktop. I was using a TTYV or ‘Virtual Console’ instead of KDE, because all I needed was my shell, ssh client, vi, lynx, and gcc. No need for a big GUI for accessing a box w/o X11 eh?

I think, I hate my life…. dispair out rules joy I think, for me any way. To her Michelangelo’s Pietà and David are art. And yes it is very greatly so. But to me, so is every bit of what I see in the FreeBSD sources, some thing I want to study and learn from. Just as Michelangelo had once learned from the working of human bodies how to better create sculpture. To me, source code is a work of art if its done right. For me, things such as FreeBSD, Linux, Vim, are all works of art. I’d yern to study under a master programmer…..