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Somehow it fits, that I was having a rather pleasant yet unpleasant sort of dream this morning, got up with an uneasy feeling, and was soon vindicated in having one, lol.

In going to uncover the car this morning, I noticed something plastic in front of the car, gave my usual sigh about how everyone here but me seems to litter o/. In pulling the cover off the car, the bloody thing wouldn’t come off, for some reason it was stuck on the drivers side view mirror. I saw it had ripped open the car cover, that’s happened before (the covers are shit) but I wasn’t pulling that hard, and usually that only happens after a good freeze.

Then I saw the whole fucking side view mirror was hanging by it’s electrical wire with the mirror plate missing! My first thought was how the hell can a car cover break a side view mirror into pieces? Seriously, the material the car cover is made out of, is almost paper thin, lol. Car covers ready to break a hole at the bounce of a dime don’t break Side view mirrors, side view mirrors break miserable excuses for car covers, not the other way ’round!   The damage to the body of the side view mirror was ludicrous, like it got a hard mashing the other corner, not like it got pulled off by the cover. If it had been done by the cover, I would also have *heard* it quite loudly, there was that much plastic shattered off of it.

What made me suspicious however was every thing about the mirror. Under the car were several shards of plastic from the mirrors support and frame; sufficiently covered in water and sediment, that I’ll eat my hat if those things had just landed there. They looked as if they had been there for hours. The real clincher however was the mirror itself: after putting the cover away in the boot, on a hunch, I walked around to the front end and picked up the plastic thing I saw coming down the walk way. Sure enough, it was the side view mirrors plate with the mirror, broken into several pieces, face down, and equally dampened with mud.

All evidence points to someone knocking it off, and conveniently it was the parking space right next to it that was empty this morning.  Don’t you just love Georgia drivers?

Last night I was finally able to catch The Silence of the Lambs, a film I’ve never seen but has been recommended over the years. I must say, it was interesting. The character of Hannibal Lector is facininating, although I don’t condone cannibalism lol.

Lector is recognisably adjusted to his confinement, or should we say, I can understand how it feels to spend so much time with the same four walls, that detail is the spice of life. The thing that really piqued my interest however, is how sharp a mind Hannibal Lector appeared to have. Almost makes me wonder, what I would be like if I was that far off my nut o/. Seriously though, who eats people!? While the subject matter is kind of disturbing, I’m not easily disturbed. The application of a strong mind, is well used in the service of others: even if that is by the catching of criminals. Problem solving is always as interesting, as the challenge to solve it.

Interestingly, my train of thought was almost dead on accurate about how Lector escaped. It was when they opened the hatch on the lift, that my gut feeling really cliqued into place :-D.

Since the film was based on a book, I’m obviously curious whether or not the library has it, which they do. Even more curiously, looking it up on the ‘net shows that it is actually the second of four books, and the library only has the last three :-(. Alas, nothing is perfect.

While I do generally like horror films, if they are able to maintain my interest, or entertain my wit (rare), the former never scare me and I rarely watch them  :-/. The only film to come close to disturbing me, I guess, was 2006s Silent Hill—which only bugs me in the sense that I feel its very graphic violence is done in rather poor taste. I’ve seen worse, lol.

Spent most of Halloween passing time in Visual Studio (barf), until The Walking Dead premièred, the show was an awesome start. I especially liked near the end when the sheriff turns a corner in Atlanta, and the street is wall to wall zombies. Can’t wait for the next episode on Sunday :-D.

Also there was some what of a blessing in the making. Friends of the family were cleaning out their garage and getting rid of a lot of stuff, including some bicycles that have been sitting around for years. After the walking dead, I was studying the mechanics of how they work (quite simply) while watching Poltergeist for the first time on TV. Today, my main focus has been on fixing those up in order to get one ready for riding.

The real issue, is I never learned how to ride a bike lol.

Been rather busy of sorts. Times been intermixed between matters of philosophy, you could say; and a small web related gig. I must admit, it is fun to see just how fast my brain can slurp up a large web framework.

That is something that kind of separates people like me, from the average user. We have a sort of “Web fu“, that lets us quickly gather tons of information. It goes beyond that though, deeper into all sorts of information sources. You should picture Sherlock Holmes explaining what a glance at a customer tells him lol.

If we can think about it, there isn’t much my sort of geek can’t figure out, given enough time and resources; each of which create an interesting expression of how long it takes to figure something out.

Now if only I had time to study rocket science!

Well, I’ve about had it for the day. The one goal I’ve had was to shave and get cleaned up, her royal pain decided to go shopping before her job interview, so that was delayed. To top it off while passing the time with my laptop, waiting for her to get back from the interview; I found an error in the systems git package.

When leaving, we was pulling out of a very tight space and this little piece of plastic sticking out of the bumper caught on the neighbouring car. It left a small ~1″ scratch on the other cars fender and took off most of ma’s bumper. The fords front bumper has been hanging by a thread for over a decade with a large gash and shards sticking out, because when it was smashed up back in Florida by someone that ran a red light, my mother didn’t spend any of the insurance money on fixing her bumper lol.

Waited for the owner of the other car and apologized for the scratch, she didn’t care but took ma’s insurance information and gave us her name/number just in case. Unlike some people in my family, I hold myself responsible for my mistakes; some people just drive off. If I fuck up, I admit it.

Tending to the family ford wasn’t much problem, the bumper is just like 3mm of painted plastic with a strip of hardened rubber glued on the front. Borrowed a scissor for cutting off the rubber link and adjusted the straps to keep the bumper hanging. Ma has had it hanging half off in one corner for years with plastic cords hooking it to the hood anyway.

Afterwards my mother asked if I thought I should still have my license after this, and I told her that I’ve seen her do much worse herself, and reminded her that she has been driving for over 40 years; by contrast I only started driving about 10 months ago. Actually now that I think of it, I haven’t even been driving for 10 months, because ma pissed away like January through May or April before she even let me drive the fucking car <_<.

As to what sort of things she has done over the years, in fact, if you search through my journal far enough, you’ll find a record of ma smashing the rear bumper in the grocery store parking lot, and just driving off illegally. Now how is that for being a responsible senior citizen?

I decidedly prefer Qt over GTK, and wish it’s third party language bindings were better, outside of Pythons o/

When there’s long stretches between entries, that is when I flush thoughts to my journal; there’s usually one of three causes. Either I’m to busy to breath, hitting rock bottom, or both. Looking at my posting records over the last four years, this seems to be fairly consistent o/

It’s been a bit busy lately, I’m very tired right now. Friday a friend figured out a way that I can get around my mothers’ communications block sufficiently, so I spent most of today (well, technically yesterday in another 30mins lol) filling out another round of job applications. Somehow, I think that I’ve learned that GOD and friends make better obstacle removers, and family better obstacle creators.

With a little tweaking to get my laptop into the loop, I should now be independent of ma’s phone systems, and thus her control over that aspect of things. The past couple weeks have been rather lax, largely because of losing the commu’ block. I can apply all I want, but a lot of good that would do if any calls back get routed to /dev/null, now does it? Using this new setup, I’m free of that delema. Finally!

Family may as well be the most vocal proponents in favour of the idea that I’m a useless bastard worth less than the lump of flesh in front of my computer, yet also tends to be the most obstinate bunch about helping improve life’s situation rather than hindering my plans.

Really, it is annoying. How people can act saintly and blameless as a white sheet while dangling the knife they’ve been stabbing with, and do it in such a way they can fain innocence. At least, that’s what it looks like. Yeah, I believe 0+6 can be > 0, don’t you? Not.

Today is one of those lovely days, you know, the kind where you would rather …

Day started off with having to take the car in for emissions inspection. The usual being badgered well in advance. Got maybe five or six hours sleep, depending on what hour it was when I finally dozed off. Garage declined to do the inspection, because of steel belting showing through the tyres and the front end being so far out of alignment that the bay chief didn’t want any of his techs putting it on the dyno. That means driving over to the mechanic and dropping about $230, plus picking up a pair of aft tyres later on. I’m still counting down the hours until my mother can figure out something venom filled over that one. When I was loading the car for tomorrow and noticed it leaking a bit of anti-freeze, I couldn’t help but laugh. It’s so fucked I can’t do anything else, except cry and I would rather laugh until I cry. At least that’s the best of both choices.

Obviously the most cheerful thought of my whole day, is of course: my mother wondering if I’ve any money she can barrow or anything of value to haulk in a pawn shop. The fact that anything I have to offer, is likely on her collateral with a loan company being aside the point. I intend to call a few pawnshops and see what they will take for a few bits of electronics, that I doubt will carry much of a price. All my life, I’ve never been alotted anything of value (unless you count friends tangibly). Like I’ve got anything to pawn, that isn’t a piss in the bucket?

It’s nice, when I need help, she will sit on her fat ass for half a year. When I turn to the job issue, she’s another obstacle. However when she needs something, she’ll all but sell my plasma to the first bidder. Ain’t love grand? Undoubtedly, I point out that if she wants help out of me, she shouldn’t have pissed away my time on the whole license/job thing. I wonder if they still buy human hair.

My original plan for the day, was to just work on getting as much of a small coding project (that I really need to get done), than focus on the job issue for the next several days, distracted by my workload. With my mothers near perfect commu’ block, I don’t expect that to work out very well. Trying to get a call through this place is futile and she keeps it that way. Between my mother and everything else, obviously nether objective has gotten done today. Some people have fun gaming or partying, coding relaxes me and I enjoy it.  No one seems to be able to understand that, except for more my kind of people. Those are rare.

It makes me fucking sick. I’m not good enough to care about, only good enough to be used. That’s what life here is like. I would do well, if I learned how not to care. Even better, odds are, if I learned to be amoral and give up on my concepts of right/wrong, ethics, and the like. Sometimes I hate being me. Unlike a lot of people on the earth, it doesn’t matter if you can be of use to me or not, I care about you the same either way. Like I say, I have only one face.

This reminds me, I really need to get the razor out of moth balls…. I’m starting to look like this guy.