Today’s agenda was spent, shoving Her Royal Pain on the driving issue: I reminded her vehemently that come June 1st, I’m charging her $15 for every hour missing from the required 40 hours (pg 22/12) that I’ll be missing towards a full drivers license. I also reminded her that once June passes, if it’s still not sorted, that I’ll be sticking her with her choice of a huge bill representing about 1/3 (minimal) wages due for years of service, or charging her fees for all time-wasted in her business after July 1st, at a level appropriate for someone with my coding experience.
I’m officially operating at DEFCON 2, and standing by for an elevation to DEFCON 1: all out family war.
In my experience, my family only understands two things: physical and financial violence. That obviously means my only avenue is to hit her, is where it hurts: in the money department. Simply put, if she wants to be a stick in the mud, it will cost her until it breaks her. There is no other way to deal with it, short of cutting my family entirely out of my life, for the rest of however long I live. I’m tired of the bullshit, from her throwing the cost of my glasses and medical issues in my face, both of which she had to pay for, for having pissed away every dollar I had saved up!
I got my permit during W2, it’s now W16, and I have had less than 10 hours car time, and less than 5 hours road time, in some 14 weeks! If this is someones idea of a joke, I am not laughing. My mother has successfully wasted almost three months of my life, placing me massively behind schedule. At the rate things are going, probability factors suggest that completing my lowest objectives of a license and job, won’t be achievable before the 2013-2015 range—and thus I arm for war. I see no reason why something that should take less than 2 weeks maximum (40 hours driving) should require calculating a span of 9-36 months: the margin being whether or not H.R.P. moves her ass at a constant rate, or the usual rate, which tends to approximate exponentiation by a small irrational constant. All I need is 40 hours, plus enough experience that I am competent enough. Considering present maths, I’ll be dead before then.
My dead line goal of having at least my license sorted by June 2010, was set LAST YEAR, and I have spent the last FOUR years planning how to move forward without being bound deeper in chains… I’m not going to tolerate it. I’ve been denied peace for most of my life, I’ve been made miserable most of the last sixteen years, I’ve been unwillingly used as bitches bait in countless family wars, I’ve spent almost the last seven being used as slave labour, I’ve had almost every positive part of life removed, and I will not surrender. I spent most of my youth counting my families petty squabbles in terms of WWs, stopped around WWIX when I realised it would likely surpass the super bowl numbers before I hit thirty. I’ll start one myself if that’s what it takes.
The ultimatum of guaranteed financial destruction has been reissued, and the dead line is just that, a dead-line. Quite simply put, the only single excuse I’ll except for failure, is if the United States enters World War III before 2010-06-01, anything else is strictly fuck you, get out of my way!
I’ve given almost seven years of my life to suffering to my mothers business, and almost all of my life showing my family patience with how I’m ground into the dirt: well guess what, being canonized a saint isn’t on my bucket list. If DEFCON 1 is reached, then that is the end of everything, and I do mean, everything.
For almost as long as I can remember, I’ve had to put up with my mother and brothers relationship sucking the life out of me. Taking every possible effort to block my goals, of all but denying my right to life, will not be met with a nodding smile of cooperation!!! Push a person hard enough and eventually they will break, well guess what, I’ve been being pushed since at least ’94, and I don’t break, I take action.