The Ultimate Zombie Fighting Kit

This is in my humble opinion, the ultimate kit for fighting zombies, in the event that you should ever find yourself stuck in such a horror flick:

2 x Swords in scabbards across the back. A pair of wakizashi or a wakizashi and katana pairing would work perfectly, or something else along those lines. While technically caring for a katana in some form of post-apocalyptic zombie invasion would be a major drag, such a weapons cutting ability would be seriously useful. Either way a single sword is more than likely going to be overwhelmed and shorter blades are less likely to get in the way in doors. Using a chain saw is more likely to get you or a friendly killed than the zombies.

4 to 6 x Knives. 1 or 2 along side each boot for backup; plus another pair along the waist/legs for use as needed. Personally I think a Kukri or two would be handy, save the rest for emergencies or quick throws. You can never have enough knives in a zombie fight. Include some shuriken if possible (needle type are probably more relevant).

2 to 3 x Semi-automatic pistols. Capacity is more important than stopping power, as long as  it handles head hunting sufficiently. Although going akimbo (bring a 4th pistol) might be useful against a zombie swarm, using your strong hand to fire until dry then swapping it to the weak, as you draw the next pistol with your strong hand is likely better. Few people can reload like Lara Croft and head shots tend to be more reliable in such dire straights, unless having a minigun would be the only thing capable of saving your bacon ;). Probably best if they all can share magazines as well as cartridges, for obvious reasons: reloading on the run and through a rare lull in targets is easier that way. Arguably the main limitation is weight. If dual wielding, make sure to use tracers so you leave a round chambered by reload time. The reason? Because if you’ve got to slap in two mags and rack two slides, you’re gonna be zombie chow.

1 x A primary weapon. An assault carbine or SMG is probably the best balance of accuracy/ammo. Shotguns are useful against swarms but limited in ammunition capacity, and the “Dream” weapon for zombie fighting doesn’t exist. Namely a double barrelled, semi-automatic shotgun fed from a bag of shells. Save the scatterguns for when there’s a well rounded group of people to fend off zombies with. Personally I would fancy an H&K MP5 or an old M2 carbine, both being much lighter all around than the CAR15/HK416 family and more than powerful enough, unless again it’s time to reach for a minigun. If not using swords, slinging an uzi or a sawed off shotgun across the back for backup, is a good idea.

+ Explosives and Water. Always useful in a pinch, and sometimes an incendiary would be useful. Exposed hand grenades would be unwise, or anything else that could be “armed” by a zombie yanking at it, or pulling/crushing. This makes something like dynamite more valuable, but has the downside of course being that you might be dead before it gets lit and blown. At least one canteen is useful, in case of being separated from other survivors or temporary stranded.
+ Steel tipped boots. ‘nough said.
You now weigh at least 15-20 lbs heavier without counting the ammunition, explosives, or water. The ability to take on a good 80+ zombies without stopping on the other hand, is worth it. Just be sure to get in shape before dooms day.
When you consider how unlikely it is that you’ll be able to find a hill top surrounded by motion-tracking minuguns and a mega load of ammo/power, let along reach it alive for one reason or another: it is a very good thing that need for such an “Arsenal” is only needed in Hollywood or video games! Besides, if such a thing could ever happen in the first place, you would probably be infected by a virus turning you zombie before you would have time to worry anyway 😛

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