Writer’s Block: Sick Day

What is your favorite thing about being sick?

Live Journals Writer’s Block

NONE

0/ People fusing about it

1/ Ma worried about work

2/ Ice Cream and a Soar Throat suck

3/ Drinking input equals pissing output

4/ I tend to sleep more in the “zombie” style.

5/ I was raised that work don’t stop unless your ass falls off.

What is there to like about being sick? >_>

Work, Chores, Web affairs meeting, SNCO/Clan Meeting, 5 XFire Windows, over 7 Voices at once between TS (1), Family, and XFire, started off after noon and still going by 2030…

Can you say HEADACHE THE SIZE OF TEXAS !!!

As soon as this meeting is done, I’m l aying down and let my head rest.

Oh how sweet it would be to have no AFKage.

A funky nightmare… Well, nightmare in the sense that it’s that kind of dream, but not very scary to me.

Unarmed and bare foot, moving through the muddy grounds around a large building with a teammate.

Made some comment about being careful not to step on any ones graves.

Linked up at the front of the building with two others and got equipped.

One handed me a large pistol, a Sig Sauer P226 with a very high capacity magazine. I know the military model can load 15 rounds in a magazine for the 9x19mm version, in RvS the more compact P228 still crams 27 rounds with a high capacity mag over the standard issue 13+1 rounds.

Gained entry and locked ourselves in the building, started poking around.. Seemed it was expected of me to take charge so I organsed us into an Element. One operator, the one that passed me the Sig Sauer took up overwatch on a large open stairwell area going to a lower level. While I took #2 EL in a formation of three, with a large Rear Guard and a female Point.

We started clearing the nearby rooms, stealth to first contact but going full dynamic speed on room entries. We didn’t use Flashbangs for fear of setting off alarms.

In one room we took down there was a crying child, I’m thinking ok.. live one, rescue op: tag’em, pump for intel, and move on.

Only it wasn’t alive what ever it was. It was very sad, offered no real usable information or coherency. Point took her sidearm and shot it in the face, no blood no nothing.. Just a ghostly fade… Funky !

So with a spooked Point I formed us back up in the hallway to check out the next rooms, cleared most with only a few more ghostly contacts. All of which would moan and fade out a bit after being shot.

Moved us into another area, I could see two avenues of attack if we moved through it. So I ordered Point and Rear Guard into the ‘mouth’ of the path while I flanked along the other side to scout for enemies. No contacts but a good chance of crossing their line of fire and getting myself shot, so I reported in and had Rear Guard (#3) move up so I could pull back a bit and rejoin #1.

#3 moved out into the open and we took fire, at least I think it was gun fire. Like a bright white light, maybe some kind of energy weapon or some thing super natural but enough to penetrate walls and warrant taking cover!

Point and I were pinned down in the barrel I hoped to avoid getting us shot up in while Rear Guard was out on the balcony dancing and suppressing. I flanked around and went to help, I could see shooters on the roof tops nearby and put rounds out but I knew we had to get back to cover.

Ordered the retreat: I made it, Rear Guard didn’t… Lost my own M16 in the process but I managed to scrounge about for a FN P90, off a corpse maybe. Regrouping with Point we found out that #4 was gone with out a trace…

Got ambushed by a half-ghost, half-zombie like humanoid and a mummified cat of some sort. Point nearly got strangled, managed to take the zombies head off and we unraveled the cat with plenty of P90 fire between us and I took it down with the P226. That was just freaky man.

With more ghostly like zombie things closing in and with a shell shocked Point from the lack of air, emptied the P90 and some of the Sig Sauer into them for some cover then I grabbed Point by by the scruff of her flak vest and took off running for the lower level. With the intention of breaking contact with the enemy and going to guerrilla tactics if necessary to survive.

Strange dream :

While things like being trapped in Hill House or even a Resident Evil like situations occasionally come up in nightmares… But it’s very rare that I’m ever armed and able to defend myself, let along having an Element for back up.

And it is even more rare that I ever dream of doing room clearing lool.

Maybe I just need more sleep…. Went to bed around 0400 last night and I don’t think I fell asleep until like close to 0600 or some thing.d

Snakes and Tree Frogs

Metal Gear Solid 3: Trailer



It’s a shame that The Boss had to die at the end in order to complete her mission for the USA. It’s no wonder that “Big Boss” would betray his country in later years, after all MGS3 basically amounts to the lot of them being screwed over for ~20 Billion. I’m axious to some day see Metal Gear Solid 4, and I wonder if the aging Solid Snake will himself be,

“Loyal to the end”

Hmm, found a copy of the intro music from Metal Gear Solid 3 posted on YouTube:



It’s a bit of a funky track but it kind of grows on you after enough hours of working Snake through the jungle hehe.

Writer’s Block: No Laughing Matter

What do you think is too serious to joke about?

Live Journals Writer’s Block

That is a good question… Will figure out an answer when one hits <_<

Hmm, laughing matters, I’d describe myself as some one that has to be free to crack jokes as I see them. I’m not really happy unless I’m free to laugh; even if I have some what of an off beat sense of humour at times. I keep most of it to myself, because I doubt any one else would find half of what I do funny… If they did, GOD help us all haha!

I’d say I’m the type that will either cry with, or try to crack a smile instead but will probably have to run like hell before she punches me in the face for trying to make her laugh >_>.

That’s just who I am….

There are only a few things that I’d really consider a matter to skip all pretense or sense of humour about. Probably all of which would fit into the kinda category that if I wasn’t a Christian, some one would be praying the police arrive on scene before I do.

I’m not a violent person no venom glands either I guess but there is a limit to how much I will stand for. I think I could forgive almost any thing done to me… Perhaps more then a lot of others that I know could forgive but — you don’t hurt those close to me.

You fuck with them, you’re fucking with me and I’m not one to fuck with.

If some one laid a finger on my friends or family, the gloves would probably be coming off. Despite my normal philosophy against hurting people, I’d sooner knock a few lights out then sit by letting some one I care for get seriously miss treated. I guess things in that light are the no laughing matters for me.

For some reason a scene from Good Fellas comes to mind: the one where he pistol whips the prick next door 🙂

The character of henry might have been a crook but he did the right thing. He was called, he went as soon as he could, he was there when needed… Although he didn’t have to beat the crap out of the guy, I can’t blame him for it either. Two things that I can’t stand for in this world are mistreating women and abusing children and I have no respect for anyone that does either.

It is indeed a good thing that Vengeance is the LORDs to exact and not ours…

If I was Ray Liotta’s character [Henry] in Good Fellas I would have been very tempted to go kneecaping instead of pistol whipping. Tom Clancy’s Rainbow Six has a nice description of what the PIRA guys [which later ambushed team Rainbow & family] used to do to drug dealers hehe. It was a quite painful although non-lethal use of ones sidearm but it was enough to make dealers think twice about selling dope again in that neck of the woods; especially if they couldn’t limp away fast enough.

Tried laying down, no help.

Noshing on rice crispy treats and mini-hershey’s bars on the other hand works 🙂

At least it gets my brain cells back in shape any way.

Independence Day is on, so there is at least *one* good thing on TV. Beigining a systematic transfer of files from my laptop to the file server,to be completed with archiving the local copies before going with a more permanent mounting solution.

I’ve got the laptop setup to mount them via sshfs and the desktop via smb.

I’ve got plenty of shit to do, but I don’t feel like doing any thing… I can’t stand sitting around doing nothing either though :

I guess it’s a fair reason to look into some method of organizing my music files in a manor I can live with :

Hmm, official to do list…

SOP Rewrites
TeXLive 2007 PBI/Port?
Codebooks
Vi User Howto
The book
NPM
And… the rest in due time.

SSHFS on FreeBSD

The following ports are needed:

sysutils/fusefs-kmod
sysutils/fusefs-sshfs

They depend on sysutils/fusefs-libs, packages are available on each at the moment for 6.3-Release.

Enable FUSE for system start up via rc.conf (I’d suggest rc.conf.local for PC-BSD) by adding this:

# enable File System in User Space
fusefs_enable=”YES”

And fusefs will be ready op on reboot. As an alterntivie to rebooting one could load the module and start fusefs manually.

kldload /usr/local/modules/fuse.ko
/usr/local/etc/rc.d/fusefs start

After that, if you can ssh to the server you can at least mount your home directory via SSH 🙂

sshfs username@host ~/mount_point

Since UNIX uses a numerical user and group id (uid, gid) to check file ownership and what not.. And my user account on my laptop was created in the PC-BSD install my uid & guid are 1001, on my OpenBSD machine hosting the files my UID & GID are set to more ‘personal’ integers, so they have to be mapped for my local account

sshfs -o uid=1001 -o gid=1001 username@host ~/mount_point

the username@host syntax is the same as scp, which means the common $USER@$VECTRA:/what/ever notation I use can be used for this as well, if the :/where/ever part is ommited it will use ones home directly from the server.

I have the fusefs-smbnetfs port installed but I’m not exactly fond of microsoft networking. I’m also very tempted to test a little bit of NFS over SSH, but I don’t have much problem with using SSHFS from my laptop and SMB/CIFS from my desktop.

I’ve created a few SMB Shares on the OpenBSD machine that match up to parts of my home directory, tomorrow I’ll start transferring files over. My Music, Videos, and Pictures directories amount for 2.8GB of files alone. So I don’t have much problem with off loading them.

Since I always back crap up first and the files are non critical I can put up with being unable to use the ‘current’ set of them whenever my file servers off line, which is rare. It’ll also be possible for me to set up a few cron jobs that’ll backup my files more regularly: without needing to use the network (scp/ssh) directly! And I can always write a cronjob to seek and destroy those stupid Thumbs.db files Windows Explorer always makes.

I’m not sure about my ~/Documents and ~/code directories yet, that’s almost 400MB of files right there but I’d rather not have to deal with out of date copies if Vectra goes off line. Although I could always set up my laptop to scp over a compressed nihgtly backup… We’ll see where it goes after some live-testing.

In my ideal world, I think my entire home directory would be residing on the server but I’m not quite ready to trust the hardware here for that yet 0.o

All I see around me is hatred, anger, and cruelty…
This is not of me, but of the world that surrounds me.
I was once asked, “Will you be kind or will you be cruel?”
I had asked it of myself, and I chose not to be cruel…
There is little anger left in me, I do not wish to hate,
and I can not bear to be like that which surrounds me.
Man doesn’t live by bread alone, yet how we live on.
Even when there is nothing left but emptiness.
Just that same pain and sorrow
Just that same blackness of night
As they lash out at the nearest targets
I have gone thousands of miles for you out of love,
yet you could not go but one mile for my sake?
“Am I nothing more then an tool?”
Ends can never completely justify their means.
I have shouldered more then my fair share of things,
yet if I stop acting as they strike around me
I am surrounded with a fury… Stricken without regard, with no logic.
I fear, like a wild beast they will descend upon me
To the slightest sign of weakness, like wolfs unto fresh blood.
I will not be capitulated by the actions that causes my refusal.
And I am beatend down for it, even if I refuse in silent.
Only my GOD sees the cuts and scares across my heart
HE’s the one that walks beside me, pulling the blades from my sides.
HE sees what no one else sees, what even they do not see.

Once I sought a reason to live, it lay close at hand.
My memories haunt me, fore I have nothing else but memories.
Of what once was, of what may have been.
Even that has deserted me, I have but one strength..
The flesh is able but the spirit is weak LORD,
Oh how I long to feel again, even just for a moment…
That which was lost; did it truly exist?
My heart twisted, my guts rended, my mind cut.
for what ends?
To that sorrowful fate as the waves came crashing down
No one else by my side, set a drift across a river of pain.
YOU were there when I washed up on the other shore.
The ones that sent me, long gone…
I think I once may have known what it was.
Perhaps I was not meant to find it,
perhaps I am but a fool..
But there is only so much I can bear LORD, I don’t have your strength.

You are like the mountains, strong and unchangeable.
I, like the worm whither and frail in the winds that come.
Nothing to lose but my future,
nothing to gain but a moments pleasure
That bitter sweet memory of what once was.
I once had a dream, but it is gone from me.

I didst fall into that trap, like a fly to the web.
Only to be ripped apart by the creature that lay within.
Yet I could not bring myself to leave, for that sorrowful fate…
That lay behind me.
Of what was, and what may have been.
Tis’ nothing more then to haunt me.
I let it go, I can’t hold on to it any longer.
Yet, I stand still…
I draw the breath you give me,
but what more is there for me?
How much longer can I endure…
YOU endured so much for me, how can I not continue?
LORD keep my feet moving along the path
Direct them along the right road
I no longer know my course
Be it to my destruction or my salvation
Lead the way, I have nothing left to fear.

— The world around me, myself, March 2008.

Some how I find the current track in my playlist ironic…

Oy…

Spent most of the evening moving furniture about. Lugging a couch out and two beds in, not much fun really. For much of the day my minds been some where between thinking about things I shouldn’t and trying not to think about them.

I suppose that is one of the problems with a long memory I guess, you remember things well…

The only highlight, Summer Rental was on, very good John Candy movie. My thought, “Take me home”, I ain’t been to the beach in so long… Maybe some day I’ll see one again.

Well, started about 0020 or some thing, now 0330 and I’ve got about 1GB of files installed…

Downloaded TeXLives DVD ISO and I’m nearing the end of a full install scheme to /usr/Programs/texlive/2007.

I dunno if it will work, even if I could get it to work in PBI format I’m not sure if I’d want to upload the mother but hey, it’s a shot !

So far all of the libs needed by the freebsd binaries seem to be found installed, that’s good.. The system is so freaking huge I’d probably need an army of TeX masters just to write unit tests to find out what works and doesn’t.

So far most of the bulk seems to be the omni-lingual nature

I expect that it will work as far as the tests outlighted in the TeXLive guide, probably build the various TeX documents I’ve got.. My Vi-User-HOWTO, my novel, new [SAS] Trooper Tryout SOP, a few sections of the SOP Rewrites, etc.

I also have a porting doc handy about the OpenBSD port written by the guy that seems to have done most of the work on OpenBSD.

First, I’ll try a PBI but I expect short of stripping it down to English only files or maybe even the big 6 that it’ll be to huge to move around easy. I want to see how I can compact this because there is about 1.1GB of files installed right now out of the 1.7GB of ISO which I unzipped from a 935MB Archive :-). Any way you slice it that is pretty freaking big to PBI… be it build, upload, or download lol.

If I can, I’d like to try a port for FreeBSD but assuming even the install I just did _works_, I’m not sure if I would like the best way of installing it from ports… We’ll see what happens.

Depending on how work’n or broke’n it is I suppose depends on how a port would work out.

 ===================> TeX Live installation procedure <==================

===> Note: Letters/digits in indicate menu items <===
===> for commands or configurable options <===

TeX Live can be used on multiple systems
as a separate subdirectory is used for each
installed binary package in /usr/Programs/texlive/2007/bin.

Preparing list of files to be installed...
Intel x86 with FreeBSD

Essential programs and files
Extra BibTeX styles
TeX auxiliary programs
ConTeXt format
Base documentation
Bulgarian documentation
Chinese documentation
Czechslovak documentation
Dutch documentation
English documentation
Finnish documentation
French documentation
German documentation
Greek documentation
Italian documentation
Japanese documentation
Korean documentation
Mongolian documentation
Polish documentation
Portuguese documentation
Russian documentation
Spanish documentation
Thai documentation
Turkish documentation
Ukrainian documentation
Vietnamese documentation
TeX font-related programs
Extra fonts
Recommended fonts
Extra formats
Games typesetting (chess, etc)
Miscellaneous extra generic macros
Miscellaneous generic macros
Graphics tools
HTML/SGML/XML support
LaTeX support for the humanities
Basic LaTeX packages
LaTeX3 packages
LaTeX supplementary packages
LaTeX recommended packages
Advanced math typesetting
MetaPost (and Metafont) drawing packages
Music typesetting
Omega
Packages for drawings graphics
Plain TeX supplementary packages
PSTricks packages
PostScript and Truetype utilities
Support for publishers
Typesetting for natural and computer sciences
GNU Texinfo
TrueType font manipulation
XeTeX macros

African scripts
Arabic
Armenian
Chinese, Japanese, Korean
Croatian
Cyrillic
Czech/Slovak
Danish
Dutch
Finnish
French
German
Greek typesetting
Hebrew
Hungarian
Indic
Italian
Latin
Manju
Mongolian
Norwegian
Other hyphenation files
Polish
Portuguese
Spanish
Swedish
Tibetan
UK English
Vietnamese

Now copying selected files
PKGONLY collection-basic collection-bibtexextra collection-binextra
collection-context collection-documentation-base
collection-documentation-bulgarian collection-documentation-chinese
collection-documentation-czechslovak collection-documentation-dutch
collection-documentation-english collection-documentation-finnish
collection-documentation-french collection-documentation-german
collection-documentation-greek collection-documentation-italian
collection-documentation-japanese collection-documentation-korean
collection-documentation-mongolian collection-documentation-polish
collection-documentation-portuguese collection-documentation-russian
collection-documentation-spanish collection-documentation-thai
collection-documentation-turkish collection-documentation-ukrainian
collection-documentation-vietnamese collection-fontbin collection-fontsextra
collection-fontsrecommended collection-formatsextra collection-games
collection-genericextra collection-genericrecommended collection-graphicstools
collection-htmlxml collection-humanities collection-langafrican
collection-langarab collection-langarmenian collection-langcjk
collection-langcroatian collection-langcyrillic collection-langczechslovak
collection-langdanish collection-langdutch collection-langfinnish
collection-langfrench collection-langgerman collection-langgreek
collection-langhebrew collection-langhungarian collection-langindic
collection-langitalian collection-langlatin collection-langmanju
collection-langmongolian collection-langnorwegian collection-langother
collection-langpolish collection-langportuguese collection-langspanish
collection-langswedish collection-langtibetan collection-langukenglish
collection-langvietnamese collection-latex collection-latex3 collection-latexextra
collection-latexrecommended collection-mathextra collection-metapost
collection-music collection-omega collection-pictures collection-plainextra
collection-pstricks collection-psutils collection-publishers collection-science
collection-texinfo collection-ttfutils collection-xetex

Done copying.
Testing for /usr/Programs/texlive/2007/bin/i386-freebsd/texconfig....
Making language.dat in /usr/Programs/texlive/2007/texmf-var/tex/generic/config
from your language selections...
Updating filename database with mktexlsr...
mktexlsr: Updating /usr/Programs/texlive/2007/texmf/ls-R...
mktexlsr: Updating /usr/Programs/texlive/2007/texmf-dist/ls-R...
mktexlsr: Updating /usr/Programs/texlive/2007/texmf-local/ls-R...
mktexlsr: Updating /usr/Programs/texlive/2007/texmf-var/ls-R...
mktexlsr: Done.
Doing post-install jobs from the packages...
... snip ...
Making map files for dvips, pdftex, dvipdfm with updmap...
Re-updating filename database with mktexlsr...
mktexlsr: Updating /usr/Programs/texlive/2007/texmf/ls-R...
mktexlsr: Updating /usr/Programs/texlive/2007/texmf-dist/ls-R...
mktexlsr: Updating /usr/Programs/texlive/2007/texmf-local/ls-R...
mktexlsr: Updating /usr/Programs/texlive/2007/texmf-var/ls-R...
mktexlsr: Done.

=========================
Installation is finished. (Wed Mar 26 03:43:06 EDT 2008)

Formats will be built for each user as needed. If you wish to install
all formats at once, for everyone on your system, run fmtutil-sys --all.

For future global configuration, edit files in /usr/Programs/texlive/2007/texmf-var
(or run texconfig or texconfig-sys).

Add /usr/Programs/texlive/2007/texmf/doc/man to MANPATH.
Add /usr/Programs/texlive/2007/texmf/doc/info to INFOPATH.
Most importantly, add /usr/Programs/texlive/2007/bin/i386-freebsd
to your PATH for current and future sessions.

See ./index.html for links to documentation.
The TeX Live web site (http://tug.org/texlive/)
contains any updates and corrections.

TeX Live is a joint project of the TeX user groups around the world;
please consider supporting it by joining the group best for you.
The list of groups is available on the web at
http://tug.org/usergroups.html.

Welcome to TeX Live!

Cross ya fingers and hang on for a wild ride… ‘cuz here we go baby.