Laughings of the day:

                   T h e   V O G O N   N e w s   S e r v i c e  

VNS TECHNOLOGY WATCH: [Mike Taylor, VNS Correspondent]
===================== [Littleton, MA, USA ]

COMPUTERWORLD 1 April

CREATORS ADMIT Unix, C HOAX

In an announcement that has stunned the computer industry, Ken Thompson,
Dennis Ritchie and Brian Kernighan admitted that the Unix operating
system and C programming language created by them is an elaborate April
Fools prank kept alive for over 20 years. Speaking at the recent
UnixWorld Software Development Forum, Thompson revealed the following:

"In 1969, AT&&T had just terminated their work with the
GE/Honeywell/AT&&T Multics project. Brian and I had just started
working with an early release of Pascal from Professor Nichlaus Wirth's ETH
labs in Switzerland and we were impressed with its elegant simplicity and
power. Dennis had just finished reading 'Bored of the Rings', a
hilarious National Lampoon parody of the great Tolkien 'Lord of the
Rings' trilogy. As a lark, we decided to do parodies of the Multics
environment and Pascal. Dennis and I were responsible for the operating
environment. We looked at Multics and designed the new system to be as
complex and cryptic as possible to maximize casual users' frustration
levels, calling it Unix as a parody of Multics, as well as other more
risque allusions. Then Dennis and Brian worked on a truly warped
version of Pascal, called 'A'. When we found others were actually
trying to create real programs with A, we quickly added additional
cryptic features and evolved into B, BCPL and finally C. We stopped
when we got a clean compile on the following syntax:

for(;P("n"),R--;P("|"))for(e=C;e--;P("_"+(*u++/8)%2))P("| "+(*u/4)%2);

To think that modern programmers would try to use a language that
allowed such a statement was beyond our comprehension! We actually
thought of selling this to the Soviets to set their computer science
progress back 20 or more years. Imagine our surprise when AT&&T and
other US corporations actually began trying to use Unix and C! It has
taken them 20 years to develop enough expertise to generate even
marginally useful applications using this 1960's technological parody,
but we are impressed with the tenacity (if not common sense) of the
general Unix and C programmer. In any event, Brian, Dennis and I have
been working exclusively in Pascal on the Apple Macintosh for the past
few years and feel really guilty about the chaos, confusion and truly
bad programming that have resulted from our silly prank so long ago."

Major Unix and C vendors and customers, including AT&&T, Microsoft,
Hewlett-Packard, GTE, NCR, and DEC have refused comment at this time.
Borland International, a leading vendor of Pascal and C tools,
including the popular Turbo Pascal, Turbo C and Turbo C++, stated they
had suspected this for a number of years and would continue to enhance
their Pascal products and halt further efforts to develop C. An IBM
spokesman broke into uncontrolled laughter and had to postpone a
hastily convened news conference concerning the fate of the RS-6000,
merely stating 'VM will be available Real Soon Now'. In a cryptic
statement, Professor Wirth of the ETH institute and father of the
Pascal, Modula 2 and Oberon structured languages, merely stated that P.
T. Barnum was correct.

In a related late-breaking story, usually reliable sources are stating
that a similar confession may be forthcoming from William Gates
concerning the MS-DOS and Windows operating environments. And IBM
spokesman have begun denying that the Virtual Machine (VM) product is
an internal prank gone awry.
{COMPUTERWORLD 1 April}
{contributed by Bernard L. Hayes}

Remember how much fun you had upgrading your systems to VMS V5.0?
Well, you had it easy......

THE VAXORCIST
-------------

A rough draft of a video presentation
by Christopher Russell
Operations Manager, Dept of Mechanical Engineering
University of Maryland

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

(SCENE: Inside of a VAX computer room. CREDITS ROLL as the SYSMGR is
sitting in front of the console terminal, typing. He pauses, picks up a
small magnetic tape, walks over to a tape drive, mounts it, and returns to
the console where he continues typing.)

(There is a knock at the door. SYSMGR walks to the door and opens it,
revealing USER.)

USER: Any idea when the system will be up?

SYSMGR: Well, I just installed version 5.0 of VMS, so I'm going to run
some diagnostics on it overnight to make sure it works alright. Assuming
everything goes alright, the system should be up first thing tomorrow
morning.

USER: Great. Thanks. (Exits)

(SYSMGR closes the door and returns to the console.)

ROD SERLING-LIKE VOICE: This is John Smith, University of Maryland System
Manager. In an effort to make his system the best it can be, he has just
installed VMS Version 5.0 onto his VAX. But little does he know that the
Version 5 documentation kit from Digital includes a one-way ticket to ...
the VMS TWILIGHT ZONE!

(ominous music - fade out)

(Fade in. The SYSMGR scans the console for a moment, then turns, picks up
his coat and walks to the door. He stops at the door for a moment, looking
back at the big machine. Finally, he turns out the light and exits,
closing the door behind him.)

(Cut to the Console Terminal. We read the following as it is printed on
the console terminal:)

VMS V5.0 DIAGNOSTICS --

DIAGNOSTICS - PHASE 1 STARTING...

DIAGNOSTICS - PHASE 1 FINISHED SUCCESSFULLY.

DIAGNOSTICS - PHASE 2 STARTING...

TESTING MICROCODE ... SUCCESSFUL

TESTING DECNET ... SUCCESSFUL

TESTING LICENSE MANAGEMENT UTILITY ... SUCCESSFUL

TESTING SYSTEM SERVICES ... SUCCESSFUL

TESTING HIGHLY EXPERIMENTAL AND COMPLETELY UNDOCUMENTED AI ROUTINE ...

(Cut to view of the Tape in the Tape drive. The tape spins for a moment,
and suddenly stops.)

(Cut to view of the Machine Room. A fog has begun drifting across the
floor, and the hardware is slowly being backlit by a pulsing red light.
A peal of weird laughter cuts through the silence. A variety of bizarre
things occur: A VT100 monitor sitting on a table slowly rotates 360
degrees; the tape drive opens and tape begins spewing out of it; slime
begins pouring out of a disk drive; the line printer begins form-feeding
like mad. These continue for several minutes, or for as long as we can
keep them up. FADE OUT)

(SCENE: Hallway outside of the computer room. SYSMGR walks up to the door
and is met by USER.)

USER: System going to be up soon?

SYSMGR: (as he speaks, he tries to open the Machine room door, but the
door is apparently stuck.) The diagnostics should be done by now, so we
should be up in about 15 minutes... (he succeeds in opening the door, but
is confronted by floor to ceiling magnetic tape. Tangled at about eye
level is an empty tape reel. SYSMGR takes the reel and looks at it. CLOSE
UP of the reel so we can read the label, which reads: VAX/VMS V5.0
DIAGNOSTIC KIT.) (to USER) ...give or take a few days....

(SCENE: View of TSR (Telephone Support Rep) from behind as she is sitting
in a cubicle, a terminal in front of her. Beside her on the wall is a
poster which reads "Digital Has It Now - But You Can't Have It". We can
see the terminal, but we should not be able to read what is on it. She is
wearing a headset.)

TSR: Colorado Customer Support. What is your access number, please?

SYSMGR VOICE: 31576

TSR: And your name?

SYSMGR VOICE: John Smith.

(Cut to SYSMGR standing beside his console. He his holding a phone to his
head with his right hand, and holding a printout in his left which he is
perusing while he talks on the phone.)

TSR VOICE: And what operating system are you using?

SYSMGR: VMS version 5.

TSR VOICE: And is this a problem with the operating system or a layered
product?

(As the SYSMGR looks up from the printout, his eyes suddenly widen and
he drops the printout and ducks. At that second, a disk platter flies
through the air where his head just was. Slowly, SYSMGR stands up and
looks to where the disk went. PAN BACK to reveal a stack of boxes with a
disk embedded in one of them at neck height.)

SYSMGR: (into the phone) Operating System. Definitely the Operating System.

(Cut back to TSR sitting at her desk.)

TSR: Can you describe the problem, please?

(SYSMGR voice can now only be heard as mumbling)

TSR: Yes... Tape drive spewing tape into the air... yes... Line printers
printing backwards... yes... miscellaneous hardware flying through the
air... uh huh... disk drives melting... yeah... strange voices coming from
the CPU board... I see... yes. Is that all? (pause as she finishes typing
at the terminal) Well, I'm afraid that that team is busy at the moment,
can I have them get back to you?

(CUT TO SCENE: MANAGER sitting behind a large desk in a plush office.
DEVELOPER is pacing in front of him, hands behind his back.)

(SUBTITLE: Meanwhile at Maynard...)

MANAGER: So tell me! What the hell happened?!

DEVELOPER: (turning to face MANAGER) It's a glitch, a fluke. A one in a
billion chance. And it's not Development's fault. Not really.

MANAGER: Then who's fault is it?

DEVELOPER: We traced it back to the Software Distribution Center. It
seems that there was a mixup and some of the code for the experimental AI
routine was copied onto the distribution from the wrong optical disk. (He
removes a CD from his jacket) This one, to be precise.

MANAGER: And what's that?

DEVELOPER: (reading the label) "Ozzy Osbourne's Greatest Hits".
Normally, it wouldn't have made any difference, as the AI routine isn't
used yet. But when they began running diagnostics, it hit the routine and
the computer just sort of became a thing possessed.

MANAGER: Wonderful. Were any other distributions affected?

DEVELOPER: No, just the University of Maryland's.

MANAGER: Well, that's a relief. We've got to get them taken care of
before anyone finds out. Can you imagine what Digital Review would do
if they heard about this?

DEVELOPER: We could always blame it on the Chaos Computer Group.

MANAGER: No, we've already used that one. This calls for drastic action.
(MANAGER picks up the phone and begins flipping through the rolodex)

DEVELOPER: Who are you going to send?

(CUT to the Rolodex so that we can read the cards. The first card reads:

SYSTEM PROBLEMS - Ron Jankowski, x474

he flips to the next card:

BAD SYSTEM PROBLEMS - Bob Candless, x937

he flips to the next card:

REALLY BAD SYSTEM PROBLEMS - Michelle French, x365

he flips to the next card

OUTRAGEOUSLY BAD SYSTEM PROBLEMS - Mike West, x887

he flips to the next card and taps the card with forefinger:

SYSTEM FUCKED UP BEYOND ALL RECOGNITION - The VAXorcist, x666


(CUT to Machine Room. SYSMGR is standing by the console holding
an RA60 disk cover and using it as a shield to defend himself from various
pieces of hardware which are flying at him from off-camera. There is
a knock at the door. Slowly, SYSMGR makes his way to the door and opens
it. Standing there, backlit amidst outrageous amounts of fog is the
VAXORCIST, wearing a trench coat and fedora, and carrying a briefcase.)

VAXORCIST: (in a hushed voice) DEC sent me. I hear you're having some
problems.

(CUT to SYSMGR OFFICE, a small but pleasant office with posters on the
walls and clutter on the desk. As the VAXORCIST enters, he removes his
coat and hat, revealing a very techie outfit beneath. He is wearing a DEC
badge.)

SYSMGR: (Frantic) Problems? Problems?!? You could say I'm having some
problems. 4.6 was fine. 4.7 was fine. I install 5.0 and all Hell breaks
loose. The damn thing ate two of my operators this morning!

VAXORCIST: Calm down, everything will be alright. I've dealt with
situations like this before.

SYSMGR: You have?

VAXORCIST: Four years ago at an installation in Oregon, a programmer
renamed his Star Trek program to VMB.EXE and copied it into the system
directory. When the system was rebooted the next day it phasored the
entire accounting department claiming that they were Klingon spies. There
was a similar problem in Texas three years ago, and then, of course, there
was the IRS fiasco that we're not allowed to talk about. But don't worry.
These things can be fixed. Before I can help you, though, I have to ask
you a few questions. (The VAXorcist opens his briefcase and removes a
clipboard) Now, according to the report, the strange occurences began after
you installed VMS Version 5, is that correct?

SYSMGR: Yes, that's correct.

VAXORCIST: Now, did you carefully read the Installation Guide for VMS
Version 5?

SYSMGR: (confused) Installation Guide?

VAXORCIST: Yes, it should have come with the Release Notes.

SYSMGR: (still confused) Release Notes? (SYSMGR begins rooting about on
his disk, shifting papers around as if he might find them underneath)

VAXORCIST: (annoyed) Yes, Release Notes. They should have come with your
documentation upgrade.

SYSMGR: (completely confused - looks up from his rooting through the
papers on his desk) Documentation upgrade?

VAXORCIST: (angry) YES! The Documentation upgrade for your VMS
Documentation Set!

SYSMGR: Documentation S...? Oh, you mean the grey binders? They're over
there. (he points to the wall behind the VAXORCIST. The VAXORCIST turns
and we see a closed glass-front bookcase packed with grey binders. A small
red sign on the front of the bookcase reads: "IN CASE OF EMERGENCY, BREAK
GLASS").

VAXORCIST: Right. This is going to be tougher than I thought. Let's go
take a look at your system and see just how bad everything is.

(CUT to the Machine Room. The room is neat and tidy and there is no sign
that anything is wrong. The VAXORCIST enters the room with the SYSMGR
behind him.)

VAXORCIST: Everything looks okay to me.

SYSMGR: Maybe it's hibernating.

VAXORCIST: Unlikely. It's probably trying to lure us into a false sense
of security.

SYSMGR: Sounds like VMS alright. (VAXORCIST gives him a dirty look)

VAXORCIST: I'm going to have to test it's power. This could get ugly, you
may want to leave. (The SYSMGR shakes his head no. The VAXORCIST brings
hiself up to full height in front of the VAX and points a finger at it)
By the power of DEC, I expel thee from this system! (Clap of thunder)

(CUT to door to the machine room. The SYSMGR is pulling a cart on which
sits the VAXORCIST wrapped from head to toe in magnetic tape)

SYSMGR: Any other bright ideas?

VAXORCIST: Just shut up and get this damn stuff off of me.

(CUT to SYSMGRs office)

VAXORCIST: (Writing on the clipboard) Things look pretty bad. I think
we're going to need a full-scale VAXorcism here.

SYSMGR: Is there anything I can do to help?

VAXORCIST: As a matter of fact, there is. We've got to incapacitate the
VAX to keep it from causing any more damage until I'm ready to deal with
it. Now, I've got some software here that will do that, but it's got to be
installed. (VAXORCIST hands SYSMGR a tape) With that running, the CPU
will be so bogged down, the VAX won't be able to harm anybody.

SYSMGR: (Examining the tape) What is it? A program to calculate pi to the
last digit?

VAXORCIST: Better than that. It starts up All-in-1 with a 10 user load.

(CUT to Hall outside of Computer Room. The VAXORCIST approaches the door.
As the SYSMGR approaches the door, the VAXORCIST holds him back.

VAXORCIST: I appreciate your help, but it won't be safe for you in there.

SYSMGR: What? You're going in there to face that thing alone? You're
nuts!

VAXORCIST: Hey, it's my job. (VAXORCIST turns to the door)

SYSMGR: Wait a minute. (VAXORCIST stops and turns around) You better
take this with you. (SYSMGR removes a very large and very nasty looking
gun from the inside of his jacket)

VAXORCIST: (Smiling) No, I won't need that. I've got something more
powerful. (VAXORCIST holds up a small guide-sized orange binder, opens it,
and shows it to SYSMGR. CUT to closeup of the book which reads: "GUIDE TO
VAX/VMS SYSTEM EXORCISM")

(CUT to view of Machine room door as seen by the VAX. The VAXORCIST enters
the room and stands in front of the VAX. CUT to view of the Machine Room
showing the SYSMGR confronting the VAX)

VAXORCIST: By the power of DEC, I command thee, Evil Spirit, to show
thyself.

VAX: Bugger off.

VAXORCIST: (Shaken) What?

VAX: I said Bugger off! Now get out of here before I core-dump all over
you!

VAXORCIST: (Recovered) Threaten me not, oh Evil one! For I speak with
the power of DEC, and I command thee to show thyself!

(A rumble is heard and again the VAX becomes backlit by red lights and a
fog begins to roll across the floor. The VAX cabinet doors slowly creak
open to reveal two small red lights in the dark cabinet which appear to be
the creature's eyes)

VAX: There. Happy? Now get out of here before I drop a tape drive on
your private parts.

VAXORCIST: (Opening the orange binder, he begins intoning SHUTDOWN.COM in
gregorian chant. The VAX screams.)

VAX: Stop that! Stop that! You, you DOS LOVER! Your mother manages RSX
systems in Hell!

(The VAXORCIST continues and the VAX screams again.)

VAX: Stop it! (a large wad of computer tape is thrown at the VAXORCIST,
apparently from the VAX). Eat oxide, bit-bucket breath!

(The VAXORCIST continues and the VAX screams once more.)

VAX: Mount me! Mount me!

VAXORCIST: (finishing the intonation) And now, by the power of DEC, I
banish thee back to the null-space from which you came! (The VAX screams
and the scream fades to silence.)

(CUT to the doorway of the Machine room, which now stands open. The
VAXORCIST is once again wearing his trench coat and fedora.)

SYSMGR: So it's over?

VAXORCIST: (Putting his hat on) Yes, it's over.

SYSMGR: (Shaking the VAXORCISTs hand) Thank God. Listen, thanks a lot. I
don't know what we would have done without you.

VAXORCIST: Hey, it's the least we could do. The Software Distribution
Center should be sending you a patch tape in a week or two to patch out
that AI routine and prevent this from happening again. Sign here. (he
hands SYSMGR the clipboard, SYSMGR signs at the bottom and hands it back)
Have a good one. (VAXORCIST leaves).

(SYSMGR enters the machine room. Camera follows him in.)

SYSMGR: (Calling to someone off-camera) Okay, you guys, let's get
rolling. Get those backup tapes out. We've got a clean system again!
(cheers are heard from off-camera. The SYSMGR leaves the picture, leaving
only the VAX with it's cabinet doors still open in the picture. Slow zoom
in to the LSI unit. Slowly, the LSI unit begins to emit a pulsing red
glow)

(Fade to black. CREDITS ROLL)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Copyright (C) 1991 by Christopher Russell (crussell@eng.umd.edu). Please
feel free to copy this and pass it around if it amuses you, as long as
this notice is left intact.

Any similarity between characters appearing in this script and any persons,
creatures, or entities living, dead, or otherwise is purely coincidental.

I am no longer an employee of the University of Maryland, so I'm not
particularly bothered if you think that they are responsible for any of
this. Unless it's funny, then it's mine.

Thanks to my friends and colleagues at the University of Maryland and
elsewhere for their help and encouragement in the developement of the
script and the video.

--
Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL your jokes (jokes ONLY) to funny@looking.ON.CA

Please! No copyrighted stuff. Also no "mouse balls," dyslexic agnostics,
Iraqi driver's ed, Administratium, strings in bar or bell-ringer jokes.

Now if only it was Windows Vista freezing at midnight instead of peoples Zunes, I would be roflmfao’ing so hard, I’d bust a gut and need to be hospitalized to stop laughing xxxxDDDDDD.

Some great bumper stickers

Fat people are harder to kidnap

Don’t steal. The government hates competition.

Politicians and diapers should both be changed regularly and for the same reason.

Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

It’s God’s job to forgive Bin Laden… It’s our job to arrange the meeting -USMC

Backoff I’m a postal worker.

Of course you’re faster, but I’m driving in front of you.

If you can’t stop when I do, smile as you go under!

If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you!

I don’t mind the voices in my head, it’s the ones in yours that bug me.

I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but you are abusing the privelege

I Think, Therefore I am Single

Dogs steal everything

Willow takes my quilt… I take the top sheet
Ma calls me to do something, Willow takes her favorite blanket, and I’ve got to move her [Willow]
So Willow tries the couch, but Coco has most of the good blanket there; and instead steals Ma’s bathrobe lol.
Now Willow is stealing half my quilt, half the top sheet, and I’m counting myself lucky that I’ve still got my ass on the bed lol.

You know, it’s a good thing I’m pretty immune to temperatures once I’m fully wake…. else, I might just freeze by morning :

Writer’s Block: Use Your Power

Our holiday gift to you: the question submitted most often to Writer’s Blockā€”if you could have a superpower, what would it be and how would you use it?

Live Journals Writer’s Block

If I could only have one single superpower, I would choose the power to fly – so simple, so wonderful. But as to what I would do, mmm lol; a scene from Superman comes to mind, and those who know me fairly well could guess it easily. Why I would choose it, is because I would love to fly; but probably will never have the chance to become a pilot.

On the other side of the coin, if I could have the full set of superpowers of any comic book hero to choose from, it would either be the amazing spiderman or superman. Reasons being, the intelligence to build webshooters (Yes, I adhere to the old way – not the movie way!) for web swinging would be a heck of a good time, but without super agility, strength, and spider-sense, you’d end up SPLAT pretty fast lol. The alternative: Supermans powers, because no other comic book hero has such a mundane set of powers, nor a set of superpowers that are better suited for doing the right thing with them, or to quote something from my favorite super heroes comic book world….

With great power, comes great responsibility

Writer’s Block: Better to Receive

Sometimes it’s the thought that counts, and other times it’s the thing itself. What’s the best gift you’ve ever received, thoughtful or otherwise?

Live Journals Writer’s Block

Hmm, probably the rock that my brother got me the last time he was on Vacation. It’s a plastic rock that says, “Someone I know went to Mars, and all I got was this stinking rock!” –> the perfect gift lol; no really, I love it! I’ve been using it as a paper weight next to where I keep my laptop, just a cheap trinket but it’s the thought that counts.

I guess, you could say it’s a brother thing lol.

I’m tired

I spent the holidays camped almost comfortably in front of a computer, mostly Dixie: where I can actually work on things lol.

Technological breakthroughs of 2008, and I’m getting old….

http://www.wired.com/gadgets/miscellaneous/news/2008/12/YE8_techbreaks

I’ve never seen all of minority report, but the idea of a paper like that sounds cool :-). The Memristor is interesting, more interesting then trying to dump data out of SDRAM that just lost power lol, my mind is going bonkers with the possibilities of what memristors could do to PCs. The Dynamic Random Access Memory we’ve been using for so many years, basically stores data in capacitors, and has to refresh the charge in them to keep the data in memory, and relatively sane; the point of parity bits or ECC memory being to help deal with insanity lol (sorry, couldn’t resist that!). Now enter the Memristor…. ;-). USB 3.0, I am intently interested in, but I haven’t followed it since I heard about the stink with Intel awhile back; really glad to know this is moving again! With luck, in a few years we’ll be seeing USB 3.0 devices being the norm in the market place, and USB 2.0 ports relegated to the same place USB 1.1 held around 2002’ish — and we can finally burn off our firewire ports xD. Honestly, although at least 50% of the computers I have running daily have FireWire support built in, I have never *actually* used or owned a FireWire based device to plug in lol


*Drools*

Technology seems to be approaching Clarke’s third law, that “Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.”, and I guess you sort of have to follow his second law to get there… Hmm, I wonder if I might live to see an era, where technology has become indistinguishable from magic, as my generation and the ones before me understood it; then again, if I do, I wonder if any of the young wipper snappers around will still do what I do…. Stop, and ask myself, how does this work? And then go in search of the truth.

Ahh, somehow I feel old right now lol. I can still remember when anything like an “iPod” was something us kids called a Walkman and used to walk around with, or equivalent devices ;-). When for all except lifeless nerds and “professionals”, computers at home were still virtually unheard of for most people, no body had heard of things like the ARPAnet or the current Internet that is so ubiquitous today. Headphones came in one of three styles, classy stereo ones that had padded “cups”, ones that sat on your ears like dinner plates (common variety), or little ear buds that you stuck in your ears (good for mini am/fm radios), and always had a cord that was either too short or to long; the idea of a wireless headset was still very much a dream, and none of us regular kids even thought about it.

Disks still were floppy, and could only hold about 360KB – and I wish I knew how to make’em flippies back when I had 5 1/4″ floppies lol. The memory capacity of most personal computers were still measured in Kilobytes, not Gigabytes – now I know people with upwards of 8GB of SDRAM lol. The most *graphical* thing about user interfaces, was trying to get the most out of your 16 colours! A “Mac” or Macintosh and a[n IBM] PC were really different; still was until fairly recently. And Compact Disk (CD)s were still expensive and usually required an equally expensive stereo system to play; I also have also seen cheaper clones of my CD/MP3 player that probably cost less then early music CDs did haha! Hmm, I wonder if you can even still buy a stereo system that can handle Vinyl, heh might have to check a garage sale. Not to long ago, I got my family to chuck an old stereo system that no one used anymore, which one day was “top notch” because it handled records, cassettes, compact disk (CD), and had a second cassette module that could do recording. These days, ask some one about a turn table and they will probably think you’re talking about a Microwave lol (DJs and [real] music people aside).

Man, I still have a gramophone in my closet that belonged to my great grand parents, and a radio that uses vacuum tubes inside!!! I remember as a child, always dreaming and wishing that someday I might be a man of means enough to repair that old radio back to working condition; these days, I am just glad that I am taller then the radio lol. Both are inherited from my Father, and like the candy dish I keep many of my personal stuffs in; probably hails from his grandparents farm. Does anyone under the age of 20 today, even know what a farm was like? My dad learned to drive from fooling around with a tractor on my great grand parents farm; when my brother learned to drive, he had my face practically against the opposite window as he cruised through the Sports Authority’s parking lot. I learned about driving from playing to many Video games and eventually getting to roost in the front passenger seat, where I could observe how things worked lol. My father could rip apart a car engine and put it back together again, he started to learn about fixing cars as a teenager, working at a gas station, and learning from mechanics when no one was around. I don’t think I’ve even seen a gas station where there was a paid attendant around to pump the gas for ya :|. Every station now’re days are self service, or go fsck yourself!

I still remember a time when the words “Computer Generated Image” did not have common meaning with movie special effects, except perhaps if you worked for a place like ILM. Back when even cordless phones were high technology; cell phones were big, heavy, and EXPENSIVE back then. Now corded techs are “out of style”, and many people can only be reached by their cellular number. The days when the existence of stealth aircraft were ultra secret, but rapidly becoming public knoledge, as we dreamt of Romulan cloaking devices, The days when cartoon shows tried to teach kids morals while entertaining them, not patronizing them for stupidity while trying to useless cram crap down their memory banks – I agree with one fathers comment about what the little tikes watch these days, “It’s junk”. Still can remember when an “Instant Message” was to shout at someone from across the hallway, the lawn, or the street lol.

and I still remember a time, when there was nothing more important in life then family, friends, freedom, and keeping the flag flying high.

Hmm, I wonder, what later generations of people in my age group will be remembering, when the Gregorian date is like 2108-12-27 instead of 2008-12-27. Odds are, to people of my generation, the technology would be like magic, and to regular people of that period: like TV is to us. I just hope if that is what the future holds, someone still remembers how it all works…. and comes back in a time machine to tell me how to build it xD.

I live in a country full of morons.

http://www.macworld.com/article/137757/2008/12/previewlawsuit.html

Cygnus Systems, Inc. is suing Microsoft, Apple, and Google, because their web browser, becauses supposedly how they handle image previews “infringes” on a patent owned by Cygnus. This is so much bull shit man lol.

Why don’t they just allow people to put a patent on using the “+” symbol to write addition operators on paper, and hell: better yet include using Hexadecimal 2b to store + in the ASCII encoding, that just about every single freaking common encoding does to display English. Then charge every body who has implemented an ASCII-compatible aware program to pay royalties, FFS!!!!

I’m not against allowing patents on software, but for the love of Pete’s sister…. Who the $#@! grants these things? Probably some dipstick that doesn’t even know a machine word from a nibble! *sigh*

Oy, so tired

The last thing I remember, is Lawrence of Arabia breaking formation to go back and find Gasim, and next thing I know, I’m snoring loudly until it’s after 2300R lol.

There was several things I wanted to note, and a few things to do; time to unwind the stack a bit and try to remember :