The past couple of days, I’ve been thinking about how best to go about writing my memoirs. I’ve known [SAS] since 2004, with my entry to the selection course being 2005-08-07 and my completion of the Selection Course being 2005-09-14. So it has been a long time, lol.

I’ve long planned to write some form of memoir about my times in [SAS], to be published posthumously, after retirement, expulsion, or forced resignation. Both being someone who hears or sees just about everything, and having been placed in positions of power, I know a considerable some about [SAS]. My ethical code on the other hand, ensures that what is trusted secret, remains on until death. People have often told me thngs in confidence, and although I have few secrets of my own, I never will violate those of others. However much of my life and times in [SAS], are not classified material: but instead something you can only learn by having been there, or through someone who was there first hand. That’s what my memoirs will contain: a reminiscence of my experiences there.

What’s weighed on my mind, is more so the effort of writing them then for the contents. I’ve always decided on most of the omissions, for obvious reasons that I’m both morally and honour bound to make about [SAS] internal affairs. The finished materal will of course end up on my journal, in one form or another. Odds are I’ll either write it in gdocs, or I’ll expand my XSL stylesheet for the occasion and mate it with a macro pre processor. I have stylesheets that allow me to write in DocBook, then convert to forum or blog posts as desired; but it doesn’t (at this time) handle interlinked footnotes/references as well as I desire.

Damn it, I feel old….

So far, I’ve been adjusting well to life outside of [SAS]. The only thing that irks me, is still being unable to access my forum account. It was finally unsuspended a couple days ago, but it is still impossible to log in. I’ve e-mailed the webmaster about it two days ago, and again today since there was no response; just now, I’ve even sent a more detailed debugging analysis to aid the ‘webmaster’.

There’s no way that I can reply to any threads in Chit Chat or Clan Topics, until my account is in proper working order. Unlike certain people (gives Snipe and Ithen the evil eye), I don’t believe in setting up other accounts unless necessary.

Just about everything of real interest on the [SAS] Forum, lives in the NCOs part of the board, but at least the Publicly accessible forum provides an avenue to stay in touch. That’s principally why I registered, and visit NTFs public forum regularly.

Threading upon years of memories

I’ve just completed the first round of cleaning $HOME, like any chronic organizer / pack rat / cataloger, over the years I have accumulated large quantities of files. ~/Documents/SAS and ~/Projects/SAS alone were over 100 megs, and I had *thinned* them out last year, by purging many old files. I still have almost 5 GB of files saved else wheres but most of it can either be digitally shredded or kept, like the sources to the SAS skins.

I’m really not sure what to do with the SAS Skins from SWAT 4:TSS. I have backups of everything from that project: texture sources, installation files, and finished product. That goes for both the old version 2 skin and the current version 3 skins.  The SAS skins were never officially adapted by GCHQ, so in real effect, they effectively go with me… lol. Although the download links will go dead, I’ll gladly give a copy of of the installer to any [SAS] Member or Recruit who requests them. I also have a copy of Dukes skin saved.

My own skin, will likely continue on with the next version of it having the [SAS] elements removed.

Most of the files that I’ve elected to keep, are either moments like Miles’ scorecard, or old software manuals (I never throw out manuals lol). For right now, I still have some of my old lesson plans, even one dated June 2006! That would place it during the June 5th to September 9th period that I held the rank of Lance Corporal. Perhaps I’ll hang on the my lesson plans, or I’ll burn them, not sure just yet.

So many files, so many memories. It has often been my way to keep detailed records, or at least enough to reconstruct ones from memory. With my iron clad memory, or as a friend once posed it, “Dont u forget anything??”, I can remember much about how many of these files came to be. So for me personally, there is a lot of history here… even if now, much of it gets the PC equivalent of a being thrown into a lit fireplace.

A few of the files that I have archived, such as those pertaining to the [SAS] admin team and server management, will be handed over to GCHQ before I shred them: thus giving [SAS] the only versions of those files. Whatever the required level of paranoia about former admins in [SAS] is in the post James situation, I’m a fully ethical one. In however many years I was involved with the [SAS] Admin Team, I have always operated honestly and professionally. The trust that was placed in me, was never miss used: to the point that GCHQ often expressed signs of exasperation over the e-paper work this added into the loop. Things that I was given standing orders for sorting, or that fell upon my own scope, I took care of autonomously and reported the actions as necessary: most things however, being deemed (by me, to be) outside my authority as merely an admin, were first OK’d through GCHQ, except when emergency response required otherwise. I wonder just how many memos I did send… hahaha.

I have a personal code, that dictates the way I conduct myself, and I break it for no one.

In a couple days, several [SAS] members will find a copy of my various contact data in their email, to help stay in touch.

Resigning My Warrant: Spidey01’s original

Before dinner, this post was made by me in Clan Topics at approximately 00:29 UTC on www.sasclan.org:

 On March 24th an important issue arose between [SAS]_Maj_WIZ and myself, in regard to his apparent countermanding of established [SAS] SOP and long standing orders of [SAS]_Capt_En4cer. In dealing with both [SAS]_Maj_WIZ and [SAS]_CO_Random, to properly clarify and document the final outcome of this for it’s obvious *immeidate* impact on our training affairs, I have generally been screwed in one ear and out the other, or run around one three and six more blocks trying to resolve this.

For over a month I have been patient, whilst my CO has left my hands tied, unable to furfil my duties as a [SAS] Member, and I’ve met everything from the Major short of threatening my dogs life. Well gentlemen, I believe it is time to call this farce over. [b]If I cannot be allowed to furfil my duties, then I shall not hold my rank[/b].

It is with that in mind, that I hear by resign my Warrant.

I have served this team almost self sacrificially since the very moment that I landed foot on these hollow grounds… only to suffer countless incidences of the same over my years. Random, WIZ, En4cer, Rouge, Valroe, Sniper, Timbo, and Medic have all been apart of doing this to me over my many years, when I’m screwed a month straight by the Commanding Officer, I think it is time for a man to draw the line.

[color=yellow]It is my first ever and my parting order, that this post is not to be edited, nor is this thread to be moved.[/color]

That post was written as a text file on my laptop, and copy/pasted into the forums, just as it has been copy/pasted into this journal entry. What you see in the above quote, is exactly how I wrote it: it is the authoritative copy.

[SAS]_Maj_WIZ has since moved it: but I expect, has not edited it. After dinner, I addressed a private e-mail to [SAS]_CO_Random notifying him accordingly of this action, and putting my effects in order: namely that I expect my forum account returned to me once the locks are changed, and that I explicitly turn over all express legal rights to any code that I’ve contributed to [SAS], to any acting CO of the team past/present/future and for all time. Legally because of the U.S. involvement (on Randoms side), the code in question already belongs to [SAS]’s commanding officer, same as the draft documents Rouge and company submitted before leaving [SAS].

Having been sufficiently been further insulted and verbally threatened by the good Major, I’ve placed him on my IM clients temporary block list. I’ll not waste further breath with him on the issue.

Since this is my turf and not [SAS] private property, I will add a few details to my above post. The issue in question, I will explain it here.

In the public view (as of this time of writing, although I wouldn’t be surprised if [SAS] will remove it from public view, or *finally* edit the damn thing in response to this), on www.sasclan.org in the tactics section is an Raven Shield V-Comms SOP page that was authored by [SAS]_Capt_En4cer in 2007.

One of it’s entries says this:

V-4-6 =Objective Reached.

This command is issued by any elemental member. This command is most often heard following a ‘Reform On My Position’ command by the EL or once a member has reached their respective Point Of Domination (POD) during a dynamic entry, and lastly if the elemental member has been assigned to locate a specific location critical to mission success. Most often this location will be beyond the visual scope of the EL and this command acknowledges that the element member is alive, in the correct position for the task at hand and is able to engage threats as required. When the element initially forms up on the EL the only member that MUST say this command would be the Rear Guard for all other members this command is optional during initial form up.

This use of calling “Objective Reached” when taking your Point of Domination, is something that [SAS]_Capt_En4cer pushed down the necks of [SAS]_SSM_Spidey01 and [SAS]_SSM_Rasa years ago, and that we in turn pushed it out to the rest of the clan. In SWAT 4, we have used “On it” IAW the GCHQs approval. You can’t pass by our SWAT server without picking that up.

On the night of March 24th, in a private conversation with [SAS]_Maj_WIZ, the major countermanded this [SAS] SOP, and blatantly refused to notify the membership.

Since then, I have pushed very hard that if the MAJOR has just threw out that SOP, then every one must be informed that it has been null-n-voided. Other wise, the Major is wrong and has failed to keep up to date with [SAS] Tactical matters. My private conversations with the Major on the issue have had very brutal moments: as WIZ has admitted and spoken to me about over the years, what he has done to members (in particular the occasional cracker, people now residing in NTF, and ex SAS members not in good standing with SAS or NTF), I do not consider myself bound by [SAS] CoH in our private chats, any more than he has demonstrated his own obedience to it. As the Major only kept himself CoH bound (in that regard) when using [SAS] forum and VoIP systems, I followed the same conduct, having heard nothing from Random about it: not a peep over 6 years.

During my shoving to have the issue resolved, I also noted that if GCHQ would fail to notify the membership of this important (and sudden) change to active SOP, that as WO1, I must either issue an order of my own, notifying the membership, or I must give up my Warrant.

In doing so, I have had my honour and integrity questioned, accused of being an NTF agent (it’s WIZ’s job to do so in both those cases), and in effect, having my physical person threatened with bodily harm. I have also had to tolerate enumerable “Mind games”, which we all know how highly I consider those a disrespect for my intelligence.

[SAS]_CO_Random was contacted and asked to deal with this, as he is the only one with authority above Major. I was made to wait several weeks to receive so much as a word from Random on the issue, who has since done nothing — I have not been informed. Worse then that, it was only after (as friends rather then colleagues) notifying WIZ with a draft post, issuing the aforementioned order and requesting to GCHQ that I be demoted to [SAS]_Trp_Spidey01 — as that is the most value Randoms inaction has allowed me to contribute. Only after sending WIZ that message, did I hear from Random. I have not received further notification of this since then! This effectively made my position as WO1, totally pointless.

Today, I was notified by a LCpl about training still being conducted with “On it”, and noted this to [SAS]_Maj_WIZ in private: who summery brushed it off, after which I noted either the membership still needs notification or the LCpl in question needs a wuppin’ for the foul up. I was still met with the same run around.

Thus, I have resigned my warrant, and so conclude my responsibility as an [SAS] member.

Most of the past and present members in my Clan Topics post, have also had a huge impact (IMHO) in damaging the [SAS] I joined,  among other things: causing damage to the eliteness (WIZ has fought against this), and something I hear NTF members grip about their leadership over! Every action I’ve taken or planned to curb that problem in [SAS] in the years leading up to the recent falling out of several members, has been met with my superiors tying my hands, or delegating it to incompetents. So this was just the biggest insult of them all.

So at this point: I do not feel, that I have left the [SAS] that I joined, I feel that the team I have loved all these years, is being or has been pushed over the edge of existence.

Old MechWarriors never die, we just go back to the scrapheap

Spent some time playing MW4 again, and finding myself slipping into old grooves like they never left.

Still was able to dance around, targeting a Cauldron-Born while keeping it between me and a heavier Templer. No problems zipping my Centurion into position to hammer away at the enemy ‘Mech, while scooting out of their firing envelope by the time their guns reload, maximum turn and burn.

I even found myself tactically directing the lance, more soundly than in times past actually, because of how much experience I’ve got as an Element Leader in [SAS]. That, and I still remember almost every tactical trick in the ‘Meching game lol.

You know RvS is brain damaged ….

when you’ve got three tangos shoulder to shoulder and shotgun aimed shells do nothing at point blank, except hit the snow directly behind them!

when you’re running like a bat out of hell and can still snipe a tango 30m away with a snapped buckshot

when tangos can dance around a load of buck like Michael Jackson on stage

when hand guns are better short range weapons then a shotgun

when tangos are better dancers then shooters, are worse shooters then noobs, and more accurate then Hathcock, while sliding down a staircase backwards!

I could go on and on, but I’ll just say Raven Shield demonstrates much brain damage.

RvS -= 1; SWAT4 += 1

I spent part of the playing around with Raven Shield and SWAT 4: TSS. Although to the best of my knowledge, Unreal Engine 2 did have support for joysticks, both these games shipped with that support half-assedly disabled 8=). In short, the games basically ignore all joystick input.

Never being one easily daunted, the three obvious solutions occurred: A/ configure the games for keyboard only operation and the joystick to emulate keyboard input; B/ use AHK; and C/ write a small toy to emulate a mouse by way of joystick input. I have already done A, and plan to test out B tomorrow (eh, today), if need be, perhaps play with C at some later date just for fun.

Under the Unreal Engine, or at least UE2: movement is a fairly simple thing. Basically you apply a positive or negative “Speed” factor to a given axis, resulting in some kind of movement: such as translating the players pawn(?) or moving the cursor. It’s kind of simple, +/- base X and Y axises are more or less your walk. Where as the aBaseX and aBaseY axises correspond to the mouse. For SWAT, the task is basically as simple as binding a group of keys to apply +/- Speed to those axises. The bigger the speed, the more reaction you get per key press. In Raven Shield however, despite several methods tried, only positive and negative X (left/right) movement was fully working. Irregardless of change, only upward Y movement was possible in RvS o/. After 6 years of it, I am often the first to call Raven Shield a pile of crap. Tuning my retired joystick to trigger those keys, is fairly simple: although the profiler lacks mapping JS to mouse aixses, sadly.

While it is possible to configure SWAT 4 for keyboard only operation, and thus JS based aiming; it creates somewhat of a problem. It’s virtually impossible to both be able to turn/maneuver around obstacles and to aim and fire at targets. The reason for this is somewhat Unreals fault, that and the fact that “Keyboard acceleration” is not quite, eh, the same as mouse acceleration. In testing with my stick, I found values of +/- 3.75 to 4 tended to work good for aiming, where as +/- 5 to 8 work better for turning. Since a joystick should garner a form of movement more acline to that of mouse acceleration, rather than a keyboards uniformity, it causes a conflict of interest. Mouse acceleration works on the indea, of increasing the speed of mouse movement in proportion to the distance you move it, e.g. it gets faster as the further you move it; where as accelerated it always moves at a steady rate. Perhaps a good if incomplete explanation, for anyone whose played a Playstation with an analog controller: mouse = stick, keyboard = d-pad; thus mapping js to keyboard = d-pad != analog stick. Obviously to play an FPS with a joystick, you don’t want it to behave like a sluggish ‘d-pad’. One way to solve this, would be to dynamically modify the Speed= value used by the key, incrementing/decrementing it by some stepping per use; while not as elegant as it might sound to some, is also impossible. UE2s console and command system could only handle the ++ and — operations by writing out the increment steppings using the pipe(|) operator, and following it up with an OnRelease operator to reset it back.

A better solution, obviously is just playing a ficken game with joystick support ^/.

As for the aforementioned method B, wouldn’t you happen to know that it’s already there. It would be the best solution, and AutoHotKey is a fine bit of software; one I’ve always wanted to find a good use for in games. Depending on how well it can be made to work at converting a JS into a mouse compatible HID, in particular with games in general, I might actually give up using the mouse for regular desktop usage. Thanks to my laptop and having encountered a fair bit of hardware in life’s travels, I have no special attachment to PC mice: only hatred for ones without tails. Than again, I don’t like wireless hardware for much, period.

The third method (C), well, is one that I would only consider worth the effort, because of the learning about Windows specifics that it would involve. I wouldn’t be surprised if Microsoft had it as a sample app somewhere either. The libraries I rely on for input backends (e.g. in Stargella) have their own portable handling of joysticks as is, so I’ve no real reason to care lol.

Gimped from the start, but still an [SAS] man

From Game Scores Volume I

Annoyingly gimped in the first 15 seconds of the game, yet somehow managing to limp through one of the largest RvS missions, and doing it faster then I’ve seen some 4 man elements do it too, lol. Over the years, I’ve actually seen people take over 20 minutes to do that map, even when in a ‘hustle’.
I was supposed to be training Bajorq a bit on RvS, but ubi interfered, so I guess I got all the practice time :-S.