Rebooting for the modern age:

BSD: time for kernel updates.
Linux: power outage finally won.
Android: dog ate the charger.
Windows: every update and driver fart.
Chromebook: whenever it gets funky.
iPad OS: more often Chromebook but same concept.

In vague order of frequency, lol

In Battlestar Galactica ’04 there is a reoccurring greeting between Adama and Starbuck that goes something like this:

What do you hear?
Just the rain.
Then grab your gun and bring in the cat.

Watching s04e13 The Oath, when Galactica defends into mutiny there’s a scene where Kara saves Apollo’s ass, showing up with a pistol in each hand as he’s being led away by a hit squad.

I may have recalled this greeting and pictured Lee with whiskers….lol

Explaining to dogs that refried beans are not for them is bound to never go well. Ending with “If I gave you this: you would fart, and we would all die”, is probably not the best idea either.

Lincoln versus the lighthouse

This is the transcript of a radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations 10-10-95.

Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a Collision.
Canadians: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.
Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
Canadians: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.
Americans: This is the aircraft carrier USS Lincoln, the second largest ship in the United States’ Atlantic fleet. We are accompanied by three destroyers, three cruisers and numerous support vessels. I demand that YOU change your course 15 degrees north, that’s one five degrees north, or countermeasures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship.
Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.

Most awesome urban legend ever.

Do you really want to put one of these to your ear or anywhere near your precious fingers?

Or one of these?

I like my fingers in tact, thank you!

Google just made my day

Was trying to look up a word I had stumbled across too far ago to remember, so I typed the definition into Google in the hopes of finding a clue to it. I didn’t expect my chuckle of the day!

How Google shapes history

I seriously hope that is some Google Engineer’s idea of a joke about sex shaping history…..lol

This is from a real screen shot, not a photoshop!

The recession has hit everybody really hard…

I think the Pakistan bit at the end is in poor taste but especially loved the one above it.

My neighbor got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.

Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.

I saw a Mormon with only one wife.

If the bank returns your check marked “Insufficient Funds,” you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their
children’s names.

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico ..

A picture is now only worth 200 words.

When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.

The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal.

Oh Great! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!

And, finally….

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.

Source—Stocky Stan @ 94.9 The Bull; Read more: http://www.949thebull.com/pages/stockystan.html#ixzz1LVy1Y88G