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The only opinion among those on earth, that truly matters, is your own.
Anyone that matters, can try to understand or just agree to disagree and be at peace.
If anyone matters to you, you will do like wise when necessary.
For the rest: they can stand aside or they can be left behind.

In addition to lending thoughts to evil plans >_>, I’ve managed to get about 10 minutes driving in for the day (oi), but by a stroke of luck was able to get in an hours night driving! Because I have spent so many years in the dark, even drawing by nothing more then TV light, my night vision is very well developed. By now my eyes are probably closer to a cats then an average humans at night lol. I was able to see greater then 80-85% of normal when we were out, and that was about 95% of the time. In fact I could see better on the road tonight, than I can see during the day if I take my glasses off! My brain is a lot like a computer, one that can combine the visual samplings of what I see, what I’ve seen, and what can be gathered about what I can’t see, and interpolate the information creating a hybrid  mental image. I’ve been doing that for something like 14-16 years with a high level of precision :-|. Unlike in a video game (where I can’t see squat in the dark), in real life one (or at least I) can much more readily discern the depth involved. In a video game it’s like trying to walk through block of wall, in real life it’s a composite shadow, very different. Either that or my monitor sucks compared to the quality of my eyes <_<.

Also managed to hit SWAT 4 for a little bit in the evening, my thoughts can probably be best summed up as feuer frei. Although it is a strange thing not to admin-login on the server, it actually feels ‘good’ not to have to run crowd control every day… let the juniors do it more :-D. As WO1, I was generally stuck as “Admin on deck” because of the regulations [SAS] has on that stuff. Despite the fact that most of my gaming time has been on MW4 and GR lately, no real rust was found in my game play. In particular tonight, was a right and proper fuddle. I was assigned to get ready on a door while the other team secured the area, suspect popped it and I slammed it shut. When the the prick pushed it open again, I dropped the hammer: burst fired my MP5 taking him down, carried on into the room on mixtures of semi-automatic and burst-fire: popping a tango right, tango left, and then swiping to cover and engaging a fourth tango (from the right) as my backup man finally slid his butt into the room. It was almost a Chuck Norris moment lol.

One thing that I like immensely about my ‘new found freedom’, is since I am no longer an [SAS] member, I do not have to water down my technique or obey the SOPs: I can approach situations more like I would, if it was really happening. [SAS] tactics are strongly influenced by realism but are not entirely the same. I have ‘cringed’ for years on numerous spaces, but never been permitted to refine things. At best, usually pointed out that it’s the Captains job.

I also spent a portion of the day, discussing a bit about the C++ memory model. Personally I think it’s easier to do circled around a work station than over remote, but at least it’s a topic I have a fairly well developed knowledge base in.

Sometimes trying to figure out ways to make others laugh for a few moments, is a good way to spend an afternoon.

(15:49:34) dkg: I hereby conclude, however reluctantly, that you take things too seriously.
(15:49:40) dkg: EOF
(15:49:42) Spidey01: lol
(15:50:00) Spidey01: Thank you for the laugh of my day, may I blog this? 😀
(15:50:13) dkg: I’d be flattered 😛
(15:50:41) Spidey01: thx xD

Since the last card in the hand I was dealt, has finally landed, I reckon it’s time to plot the course where I’ll go from here.

Game wise, whenever I play Raven Shield or SWAT 4, my primary stomping grounds will likely remain the [SAS] servers, because they’re the best servers you’ll find anywhere. Sometimes I visit other clans servers, but usually it’s ones I’m friendly with or when ours are having an outage. One of the things I have always liked about being in clans and friends with various clans, people know your name when you setup roots: and I have roots here. Before joining SW years and years ago during my MW4 career, I maintained friendly relationships with much of SW, OTC, and the leadership of the GSA branches of CGB and CSV. Even after becoming a Shadow Warrior, I kept those up, when possible even continuing to the present. Like wise that goes for most people who have passed through [SAS], I’ve kept up contact with many of them over the years, especially those closest to me. Most memorable people to cross our servers these past years, have known me in some form.

How much I’ll play of either game, I dunno. There is now less to weigh me down, so I can play more freely, and I can also work more as needed. I don’t plan to become a stranger though.

Really, I feel naked without my uniform: no more SAS_Rank_Spidey01 written all over the place. Obviously I have some things to change :-/. Spidey01 however is and always has been my name. Formal clan prefixes of DEx and [SAS]_Rank, having been groups close enough to my heart, to become a virtual part of my identity. On the other hand, being the *intelligent* sort of person, most of my stuff doesn’t revolve around [SAS]. For example my IM usernames don’t reference SAS, this has been a conscious decision from the vary start (cica 2005). The idea being, that my IM would become known, and if should anything ever happen, changing it would be a major pain: so I’ve avoided it all these years. Except for FreeNode, which now comes back to bite me in the arse lol. On the upside, I don’t have to constantly remind myself to omit the ’01’ in RvS!

 Most of the changes are trivial, updating signatures, shredding old files, closing old photo albums, and so on. The main gripe is waiting for my forum account to be returned to me.

On the subject of military tactics and their applications, I started learning about such things around 1995, and joined [SAS] during a chapter of my life, where I wished to focus in on close quarters combat. It remains to be seen, whether I’ll continue my studies, there really isn’t much more I can learn without firing an MP5, but it is a chapter of my life that I’ll never forget.

I’m still gonna be found naturally stacking up on doors lol.

Lately I’ve noticed with getting up so early, now that I’m averaging like 0300-0700 local:  a couple hours nap in the afternoon really rocks!

It’s like, the sun isn’t up yet, but I’m ready to run a marathon. I’ve found enjoyably, that I’m naturally falling asleep earlier, which gives my mind less time to drift at night, and that I’m getting up early enough to be able to get more work done than killing myself burning the midnight oils. By the afternoon or late morning (if I got up urber early), I tend to plunk out, more like how I used to get a few hours before I would have to raise a crash to pillow exception whilst coding. Just dropping off for a nap, I find very regenerating. Setup the laptop on the ground to play my radio stream, put something on the TV: so that I’ll have a point of reference for how much time as passed (clocks suck). Then settle down for a nice nap at the foot of the bed o/.

Perhaps, I should officially call this my concept of a siesta! Either way, my waking hours are still something like 19-21 hours a day… if I don’t pass out eventually lol. Today I had like a nice two hour nap, feels great; especially combined with sleeping *late* until 0500 this morning.

One of the reasons I’ve desired a conversion from night owl to early bird, is I’ve noticed after numerous hacking runs, like running 3-days straight cycles of coding from 1100 to 0700 (exhausting itself), that if I don’t sleep at night, I’m terrible in the ‘morning’. It’s like, if I skip sleep, or just stay up ’til dawn, that I have a heavy pressure in my chest: and I don’t like that. Strangely while I’m arguably sleeping less, my current sleep patterns actually have me feeling in better health/strength, than I have felt in over a lustrum.

I’m at a loss to explain it, except to think that my body likes the new (more natural) rhythm a lot more than the old one lol. It’s kind of like I’m finding a new and better form of time sharing between activeness and sleepiness.

Fell asleep only to get woken up a few hours later, because ma couldn’t decided whether or not to crate the bosses dog (which we’re watching here for a bit) during the coming storm. Went back to sleep, only to be waken up in a couple hours, once the storm hit full force.

After waking up from a nightmare around 10:00, and no luck in going back to sleep….. I’m stuck wide awake o/.

While perusing the developer documentation for Chromes extensions system, ma gave me a summery of a phone call she just had: namely that she is now looking at an $80/month loss in revenue. As their own business is going under, one of the clients that we’ve worked for, must be at least three or four years now, won’t be able to maintain regular cleaning. Thus things are tight all round.

I pointed out to my mother on Tuesday, and again on Wednesday, and numerous times before this, that if it wasn’t for her shafting me over driving, that I would likely have been gainfully employed outside her business by now… which would have been darn handy in light of today’s news! My families been allotted inklings of my plans since at least ’09, and they’ve done nothing but screw me over every which way: looks like I was right, doing so wasn’t in anyone best interests ^_^.

The massive time delays ma has already forced on my short term plans, has caused me to miss the ideal hiring point for my original business plan, and I’ve already shoved (and reaffirmed!), that I ain’t doing jack until I’ve got my Class C and it’s been proven that I’ll have sufficient use of the car, to be able to hold down a steady job. Should we say, over the last ~twenty years, my family has given me enough cause, that I don’t trust them as far as I can throw an Atlas.

My war policy is unconditional victory.

Got up for less than two minutes, and Coco starts to jet off to steal my spot on the couch… so I sit down before she can snatch it. When I suggested that she try “Sharing” the couch, you would think from the look on that dogs face, that I said a dirty word!