old books

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Well, when I left Recruits Jarle and Ambu I had planned to lay down… I guess you could say that I’m not the kind to rest and relax when there’s stuff to be done =/.

I only really know two modes of operation, lazy quick & dirty and as good as it’ll come workaholic.

Manged to get Dixie (my laptop) cleaned up a bit, nice to be able to see my LCD TFT again. Tried to get things much neater but I really need to dismantle her and pull out the keyboard. So I can clean up all the grit and doghair underneath it. That is a little more involved then I’ve had mind for right now… best do that when I’m not so tired.

Done some good in re-organzing my shelving — yes I got bored trying to relax =/.

Hahhaa, it figures I get up for 50 seconds or so. And Willows practically sitting on my laptop with a dog toy….. Bollocks.

I’ve been unpacking the 3 boxes of old school books my brother left me (moving away).

The Math, English, Planning your carrier, Social Civics, and Psychology are basically the same as the ones I’ve been doing — it is the same schooling system. The US History and Biology are different, very different. The huge plus is his Biology book is like a 3rd as thick as mine… The one I’ve worked in I’ve also learned a lot more by looking stuff up in the encyclopedia then reading the text book — the joys of school !

Several books on Spanish, not a language I plan on learning but always useful (particularly the good EN-ES dictionaries). The only languages I consider learning are Italion, German, and Japanese. My mom wouldn’t understand a lick of the Italion unless I learned the dialect from where are ancestors come from — and I would want to learn the standard. Japanese would be to much work, so I think trying to learn German was a good idea of the 3 lol. As it figures the school only offers Spanish and french (basic) — lots of luck.

The real gold is the Algebra and Geometry books, I have yet to get mine…. It’s stuff that interests me but that I’ve never had time to devote to learning any of over the years.

Since I’ve sort of inherited this stuff, I guess I should decide what use I an put it to in my studies. The math, I proably should make use of. I’d rather write a computer program to do it for me then sit there and waste my time (I’m not a calculator in school kind of person). And the sad thing is I’d learn more writing a program to do my home work for me then doing the home work….. The funny thing is? He copied a friends answers for most of it hahaha. For the English, well my grades in English have been worst, like a B average and most of the handful of C’s I’ve ever gotten.

This stuff could help me get my own school work done.. And it is important that I get volume done now, rather then correct any way. The only thing is I don’t really like the idea of using old test results to write mine =/, but then again i don’t really have any interest in writing any of the tests out for my school… just a case of having to. Which sucks b/c all it has been doing is wasting my time and that is not good.

I’ve learned more educating myself on different topics then I have learned from schooling and get no credit for the things I’ve learned out side of it. *sighs*

When I graduate… I think I would piss on the diploma if it wasn’t so much trouble to get =/

RSM’s Challenge

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Well… I’ve hated not being able to place a score in my own training challenge. I’m used to training on the map with tactical aids and various weapons, although James has often reminded me that it’s not meant for no tactical aids. I like the map because the doors, tangos, and hostages make it a bit tricky.

Especially with the bugs in RvS hehe. I believe in making training hard on my self, why bother if it was easy? I also like playing without a HUD in RvS, because it lets me focus on letting my body work the weapon — not my cross hairs. While I’m horrible at counting my bursts (I tend to lose count) I’ve used many of the weapons so much that I know when to consider reloading without having to check my ammo counter. Even with a HUD on, I usually use it for reminding myself what firing mode I’m in lol.

Kill House: SAS Hallway, Practice Mission on Veteran mode.
Character: Eddie Price (my normal).
Armour: Light Black camo.
Primary: H&K MP5/10A2 10mm FMJ no attachments/
Secondary: SIG-Sauer P228 JHP no attachments.
Tactical: Primary and Secondary magazines.

Result:

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Only HUD I had was the on screen weapon, I never zoomed and I only used the Sig Sauer for the barrel room because it had my JHP ammo. Fully Automatic on my HK all the time and firing in controlled bursts. I entered each room during clearing except the dark one with the stairs. And one of the ones at the far end I only took a few steps into the room to confirm it clear since it was full of bodies and obstacles I could see through well enough. I also allowed my self to bare in mind the rooms structure when stacking, so I would be on the strong side as often as possible. But without taking into account the suspects positions… which actually almost got me killed on one room.

I tried to keep things going as stack, swing, slice, storm, and move on to the next reloading before a popping another door. From runs I’ve had in the past i know 2:09 is pretty slow but I wasn’t worried much about time so much as actually completing the level.

I *hate* the idea of asking any one to train harder then I would train my self… While the [SAS]_RSM_Spidey01 in me can understand why people can’t do this kind of thing. The [SAS]_Trp_Spidey01 deep down can’t stand not being able to push it harder and further then that last mile stone.

I created the next level of hard training for my self, my personal training… And then asked others to try and do it. People wanted some thing they could practice double tapping on, and I thought this scenario would do the trick. It’s nagged me that I couldn’t do it my self.

How can I ask some one else to do it if I can’t?

Now I can sit back and find my self some thing harder for me to train on. And I can probably try improving my time on the Spidey Speed Run Challenge. I know I could do it faster but I think12 seconds is not worth it when I could try making it harder on me instead, like using a weapon horrible for CQB.

Hmm, you know MP Peaks, Tango Hunt, MP5SD5, no scope and lots of ammo sounds like a good no hud training map for me…

Never forget

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Today is the 10 Year Anniversary of my Grandmothers death.

I can remember the last time I saw her, in the hospital the night before. Ma was with her and I was in the front, I wasn’t supposed to be allowed back there (1 visitor at a time I guess). But one of the nurses led me back after awhile so I could see her… I guess they probably figured it was past the point of doing harm.

Ma had found her on the floor and called for an ambulance, I found out about it in the morning so I never saw any of it. Maybe I wasn’t meant to really… I don’t think I’ve really thought about any of this over the years. But with my brains context-sensitivity to recalling things I can still remember it quite well.

The next day after the trip to see her, we were told she past away during the night.

As much as I miss my Grandmother at times, I know I should be happy because she’s in a more peaceful place. And she no longer has to worry about the Alzheimer’s.

It’s been 9 years since we moved and she died a few months after we had come back from Georgia. She had gotten to see where we were (all) moving to and meet my (then future) sister in law. It was like even through the Alzheimer’s she needed to know the family was going to be ok before she left.

Individual Skins

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To do list…

import customs from SoliderMilhaus

for each supplied do;

edit class file -> change ‘Special Air Service’ to ‘SAS_Name’ so it *fits* in the bloody loadout screen, thank you!

overwrite heavy armour textures -> Fix bug in old SAS Skin (he used the files)

finish screwing with my skin

import rasa’s skin

replace old SAS Skin no armour vests with new version and append

 [SAS]
Someone

to the name tags

add SoliderMilhaus personal and personal lapd skin (as thank you for suppling these skins).

create installer for personal skins.

On the other hand, also finish work on regular skins and make installer for that. Include LAPD SWAT Skin with it for good measure. Maybe old ‘SAS’ uni to I dunno

bed time, brain is crashing.

Alpha versions

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normally I’d post this in the forums but because I want the screen shots to be embedded and thats not nice on a forum with so many pictures… I’ve posted them here.

Thanks to XFIRE being a total dipstick and replacing about 10 screen shots I took with all the same picture… most of my shots were lost. So many of these come from Grishenkos help.

TODO LIST:

remove box on green/gray bdu shoulder
make new blue bdu
darken (again) green bdu
remake trainer/di light vest
fix arm patches on green/blue bdu

Pictures:

Sabre light armour, rear vest; An old picture that radicalGhost helped me take.

Me in the same uniform crouched and stacked with a gas mask and light armour.

Sabre Uniform during testing, light armour and helmet


Sabre heavy


SAS Blue, light armour — I need to remove the lower armpatches and I’m not sure if I like the shade of blue yet.

First draft of the Drill Instructors skin, light armour + helmet looks like it’s gonna be called ‘SAS Trainer’ in the menu because of word length (instructor doesn’t leave room for Drill or SAS to show up). I think I’m going to redo the vest and put ‘TRAINER’ on the back instead of [SAS] and reduce some of the text in front.


Same draft of the skin but in no armour and NVG (so the head shows better).




With Grish and myself


My screenshots of the SAS Green seem to have been lost in the upload =/.

With Grishenko to help me test some to night heres a few more pictures and edit them in.

Green no armour
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Sabre light
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Sabre no armour
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black heavy
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trainer
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Speed Runs

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Dang it I’ve done this 3 times all failures…. Hostages keep getting into cross fire and the USP40 JHP has more penetration then you would think lol.

My new personal speed goal is < 2:00 and >= %60 accuracy

2:12 -> 62%, = FAIL, barrel room blew up and another hostage got FMJ through a hostages arm.

1:58, -> 60% = FAIL, Two hostages killed in crossfire… they just walked into it

1:53 -> 69% = FAIL, A few hostages died in cross fire…. barrel room and one LOF.

Screens shots on my destop…

I’d kind of like to be able to score a passing grade in my own training challenge lol…….. Grrrr….. Tomorrows another day.

The Spidey Speed Run Challenge doesn’t even have any one on the score board… If those dang hostages would learn to duck instead of walk around life would be eaiser lol… What persion IRL is stupid enough to want to get shot in a HR ? lool.

Funky….

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A set of strange dreams…

At first, I was a bounty hunter competing with an old flame (and apparently a bounty huntress) over the current query (female)…. Trying to avoid being killed by, involved with, or injured by either of them while still scoring the bounty. Rather interesting dream now that I think of it lol.

And the second, ordered by an ex member of the Beetles to track down and actor to be his Executive Producer for a film, or “kill him” if he said no. It was like being one of Fat Tony’s goons on the Simpson’s lol.

It’s normal for me to have crazy dreams, if I dream at all. I don’t put much stock in any of my dreams. Because they tend to get very weired after awhile.

It seems I’ll have no days off this week, got dog runs from now til Thursday. Lucky for me, the Live Op I have planned should still be able to go according to schedule, good thing I planned on an early launch time for it. I don’t think I’ve *really* had a day off in 3 or 4 weeks now. It would be nice just to have a few days where I don’t have to do any thing for ‘having to get it done’.

Hmm, maybe some day I’ll get lucky and win the lotto… Thus being able to afford a nice 6-week, all expenses paid vacation to Hawaii to re-cooperate from being over worked.

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I find my self longing, yet having already lost. Stumbled, defeated, beaten. Yet I stand again with determination.

Will I fall again? I wonder and think of vile pains.

What use is one without the other?

Once a time of happiness, turned to a time of sorrow….

Where not even pain resides any more.

Confusion and uncertainty astound me.

I pray for my own sake… To change and want to change, to repent in honesty.

If temptation is removed, how can it truly be an end to it?

Emotion can brew, feelings arouse. Loneliness can be blinding, yet how to endure endless sorrow?

Not by following instinct, not by going in ether direction… Shall I sink like a rock in water?

I know not what to do… My course lays a head of me, but alas I only can see an arms reach ahead of the path.

Others are more fortunite, many have the freedom. Still more have the chance of hopes joyful deliverance.

The pain is gone, in it’s place it leaves some thing worse. With it comes the stench of anguish .

Hope is truly a two edged sword, to lead one through perseverance or into drowning in the mud.

Is realization better then pain? Yes in a way… One can stop hurting and see things for what they really are… Sick in the head and collapsed from torment.

I must correct my self, yet find my self flying to distraction quickly and with ease… When I should be most resolute.

A fight in which I stand, as if alone but yet not really alone..

There is one who stands with me, even if I do not fully understand..

One who feels the blisters of my indiscretions. The face, I can’t bare to see… For what pain I must have caused.

Forgiveness is one of the universes greatest inventions but one must really straighten the course before ye can find it.

The road that I must take,is one I now know I must. But I do not know if I can keep my self on the path I must follow.

It is so easy, to be so sure of my self now. But when the time comes, will I crumble or be crushed under the weight of my own feelings?

Only time with tell, and I pray for the redemption of my soul.

The in purities must be burnt away, even if I must ripe them away with my bare hands. It is better to use an eye, then to be ruined. To lose an arm rather then to be destroyed forever.

I’ve got to put my own foot on the path, it is not one that I may be led in. But one that I must walk in order to find my way back. No one can place me on it, I must come to it if I am to follow it. Not of duty or requirement, but of free will.. To choose it. I can not have it chosen for me, I need to be the one who starts, not the one to cooperate.

— The tormented mumblings of a mad man.

Busy day

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Dang gum it has been a busy day.

Had plenty for work to day and I’ve spent most of my time off work hacking at the SOP Rewrites. Trying to get stuff sent off to GCHQ to approve.

So far the parts of the Table of Contents that have made it to GCHQ are:

   3. The Element Formation
         1. Roles Within an Element
               1. Summery of Roles Within an Element Formation
         2. Organising the Element
               1. Fixed Element Formation
               2. Liquid Element Formation
   4. Standard Equipment
   5. Equipment Handling
         1. Shooting Techniques
         2. Target Discrimination
         3. Reloading
         4. Tactical Aids
   6. Room Clearing
         2. Dominating the Room
               1. Points of Dominance
               2. Areas of Responsibility
         3. Securing the Room
   7. Rules of Engagement
         1. Definitions
         2. Classification of Threat 
   8. Planning and Leading
         1. Way of Engagement
               1. Dynamic
               2. Stealth
               3. Notable Variations
   9. Appendix I: Battle Drills
         1. Making Entry
               1. Bang and Clear
               2. Breach, Bang, and Clear
               3. Shotgun Breach, Bang, Clear

I am making an updated talk as I send out the sections. So that list is not accurate in number or position. It’s just the parts that have made it to the Nit picking by HQ phase.

Almost 0400 here, time for bed…. Good thing work is in the afternoon or I wouldn’t have been able to get this much stuff done.

I bet GCHQ is going to drive me crazy some how….. lol