Month: August 2008

Nights writings…

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It’s become so painfully clear that I’m not going to get anything done today. In more ways then one, let us say…. I have managed however to end up on my laptop, on battery power, and in one hell of an uncomfortable typing position! Like normal, when I’m on battery power;I operate in text mode.

I don’t care much for it’s forms handling on this scale in Lynx, but I quite like that LiveJournal really is Lynx friendly!

I’ve been writing in Vim as usual, my ~/Documents/Personal/ folder grows day by day, the only semblence of order being YYYY-MM-DD.txt appended to file names. Often when I’m miserable or have very strong feelings, I’ll sit and write if I can (unobserved). It is more relaxing then sitting quietly and letting my mind rage about in silence. In away, I blame it on my time in Bible Study. When I was ‘free’ enough of schedule to attend it, I did quite enjoy being apart of one of the local groups. During most of the 2~3 years I was around, the focus often rested on a King of Israel with the ability for expression. I remember we covered much of the time of David.

I really miss that, but my life just doesn’t have the free time for it. It as always a bit of a hassle to complete each cycle, and at times pushed my abilities to refrain from nervisness; it was also a lot of fun. Hmmm, maybe someday I’ll live to see it again.

As to my own writings, while it is far from being so wonderfuly composed. It does however, express what _I_ feel more clearly then anything else. If it didn’t, I wouldn’t bother adding another file to my home directory. In a lot of ways, I find English a poor language for such a purpose. English is well suited for precision of description in my opinion, but sorely lacking in many other regards…. Mmm, not really looking forward to tomorrow, anyway you slice it, it’s rather likely to be a day I would rather forget about. At least *hopefully* I’ll have the weekend free; my mind wonders so much as I sit here, brain a drift with only my nimble fingers as its output. Hmm, why does everything seem to be I/O bound, even in the 21st century >_>

Training Afterdark

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A tad annoyed, been doing some of my private training in RvS. My times are almost a minute longer then my best, while that’s still quite quick (I set the time marker for 5min; and completed it in less then 3:45) it’s still very slow… I’ve always chose that map because of the extreme CQB. Did a couple good runs and even got time to bring out a variety of weapons: MP5/10A2, MP5A4, TMP, P90, Mac 9/11, and the MTAR-21. But I’m still very far from satisfied with my performance. I fear, that I am starting to get old :

Two things that really pissed me off, the P90 and my faithful P228 pistol. It’s like, you fire off a burst into an area the size of a mouth, the target is chest sized, so close that if it was real life, you could almost extend your arms and bayonet the S.O.B. But in RvS, it’s still possible to fire in bursts, watching the count of rounds fired increase: 2..4..7.. and guess what? Magically all of the bullets strike the wall behind the X-Ray, but none actually hit them… Leaving you with 44 rounds in a P90 and a dead body, that is not the enemy!!!

It’s total bullshit. Although, I must admit in RvS, the game has always given me a feeling that the rear sights are on target, while the front sights are aimed at your toes instead… Tonight was an unbelievably bad display on RvS’s part, I’ve never considered the games P90 to be deead on balls accurate but this was just a joke. I’ve picked off head-shots at range with the games Mac 9/11, and the P90 is dozens of times more accurate in that game.

The second thing to piss me off, is I shot an X-Ray square in the chest with a P228, 9x19mm Jacket Hollow Point round… Round penetrated and exploded the barrel behind him. While the JHP are still capable of penetrating tangos. I can’t help but wonder, why a 9x19mm JHP round from a P228 will do the trick, when a FMJ 9x19mm round from my MP5A4 wouldn’t.

What irks me even more so, for “training games” we used to round people up, go find explosive barrels, and take turns shooting them. Walk up to the barrel, fire a round (or two), and run off before the next Rct tries it. Often we use the 5.7mm AP Army (FN Five-Seven) because RvS gives it less stopping power then some SPITBALL from Romania! We’ve also tested with 5.56x45mm weapons and various 9x19mm pistols using full metal jacket rounds.

The concept that a P228 firing 9x19mm JHP can be more dentimental to a (thick skinned!) explosive barrels contents then the G36K’s 5.56x45mm round, just begs for a physicist to explain these ballistics >_>

Geeze, why can’t they ever make a *decent* tactical game that is realistic?

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HOme from work at least and some good news, I only have to work 2 jobs tomorrow instead of 3… One of our clients had her baby today, so there is more important stuff to worry about ;-). Both mother and child doing well as to everyones prayers.

For me this is doubly good news…. If work was a river, I would be drowning in it, and my family would be pushing my head under.

I didn’t really mind having 3 jobs planned for tomorrow, I usually only have to deal with one. What does piss me off, is when I got into this business… It was to help pay for my high school and save some cash for later. Fast forward several years, I could be almost out of college by now instead of still in HS, and she ain’t saved a cotton pickin’ dime along the way. And the only way I’ll likely ever get out of this business, is my life turned up side down, in ways I don’t want lol.

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Managed to catch the last half of Crimson Tide. I haven’t seen the movie in ages, was nice to actually get to see something though… Once everyone else is asleep, it’s actually possible to get stuff done, so I rarely watch TV lol.

One thing I do know, I can’t stand the idea of serving on a submarine. At least if a service ship goes down, you might have get off the ship in one piece, deal with the undertow trying to suck you under, and not freeze to death before CSAR arrives… But at least you’ve got some chance. ON a sub, if something happens hundreds of feet below, ya a tad bit fucked.

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Finally…. I managed to get shaved, not like there is much else I can get done. One nice thing, there are two or three things I can do under almost any condition, as long as I can keep my eyes on what I’m doing that is. With luck, maybe my family will settle down for awhile, so I can actually get something DONE.

I almost never shave, because I just don’t have the damn time. In this case, it’s been so long since I last found the time to shave. That I was starting to resemble King Leonidas in 300, only much shorter and less muscle bound lol. Willow was staring at me as if to say, “wtf happened to you?”. Heck, I barely recognize myself now… It’s been that long lol. I don’t usually look like a short-haired ookie out of desire, but out of necessity. There is only so much shit that you can cram into a small stretch of time and still be ready to rumble in the morning.

Especially in this place !!!!

Nearly an hour later with razor, scissors, and electric razor, it’s finally done. People always try to pawn off electric razors on me but I’d rather use something that works after the first week. With how long it is before the problem of ‘need to’ and ‘have time to’ coincide, an old time straight razor would actually be most convenient

Hit the DVD Collection for something to watch, I’ll probably end up watching them each 3 times before Monday…. Because I’d actually like to see the ‘entire’ movie when I start watching one. To be honest, the reason I largely gave up on watching TV. Is because whenever something decent was on, I never got to watch the frigging thing!!! —> Gotta love family, especially family that thinks you’re a servant.

Frustration factor := (3.14159265 ^ 2)*(1024^64)

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Since it seems to be to much to ask, too be able to work on things in peace in this hell hole. I’ve closed my terminal for the time being.

What the hell do I have to do, in order to get work done? Buy a rat fucking shotgun and take hostages?! No wait, that wouldn’t work, my family doesn’t give a flying fuck about anyone else. I sat through a five and a half hour project meeting… and despite the insane length of the meeting. I should have had the first milestone completed the day after the meeting, instead fast forward almost two weeks…. The first phase of the damn thing isn’t even complete yet.

If I actually had decent conditions to work in, things would be COMPLETE by now. But no, my family can’t leave be alone to work in peace.

I think if I as about five years old again, I would wait for my family to be doing something…. Go take out a large pot from the kitchenand a pair of equally large wooden spoons. Then take a belt and make a sling for the pot (for ease of marching). And then walk back and forth across the room, banging the spoons on the pot while shouting

“Now whose working, now whose working”.

As absolutely childish as doing that would be, I think that is about the only thing my family would understand…. Without having to take very drastic measures to get the point across… (e.g. using pepper spray, a TASER, or even deadly force e.t.c.),

I fear, one day I’ll look back upon my memories of this place and cry, “Just another picture to burn”.

distracting music

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Hmm… You know, the radio can be rather distracting when coding lol

Well, Becky was a beauty from south Alabama.
Her Daddy had a heart like a nine pound hammer.
Think he even did a little time in the slammer.
What was I thinkin’?

She snuck out one night an’ met me by the front gate,
Her Daddy came out a-wavin’ that 12-guage
We tore out the drive, he peppered my tailgate.
What was I thinkin’?

Oh, I knew there’d be hell to pay.
But that crossed my mind a little too late.

‘Cause I was thinkin’ ’bout a little white tank top,
Sittin’ right there in the middle by me.
An’ I was thinkin’ ’bout a long kiss,
Man, just gotta get goin’, where the night might lead.
I know what I was feelin’,
But what was I thinkin’?
What was I thinkin’?

By the County line, the cops were nippin’ on our heels,
Pulled off the road an’ kicked it in four-wheel.
Shut off the lights an’ tore through a cornfield.
What was I thinkin’?

At the other side, she was hollerin’: “Faster.”
Took a dirt road, had the radio blastin’.
Hit the honky-tonk for a little close dancin’.
What was I thinkin’?

Oh, I knew there’d be hell to pay.
But that crossed my mind a little too late.

‘Cause I was thinkin’ ’bout a little white tank top,
Sittin’ right there in the middle by me.
An’ I was thinkin’ ’bout a long kiss,
Man, just gotta get goin’, where the night might lead.
I know what I was feelin’,
But what was I thinkin’?
What was I thinkin’?

When a mountain of a man with a “Born To Kill” tattoo,
Tried to cut in, I knocked out his front tooth.
We ran outside, hood slidin’ like Bo Duke.
What was I thinkin’?

I finally got her home at a half past two, later.
Daddy’s in a long chair sittin’ on the driveway,
Put it in park as he started my way.
What was I thinkin’?
Oh, what was I thinkin’?
Oh, what was I thinkin’?

Then she gave a “Come an’ get me grin.”
An’ like a bullet, we were gone again.

‘Cause I was thinkin’ ’bout a little white tank top,
Sittin’ right there in the middle by me.
An’ I was thinkin’ ’bout a long kiss,
Man, just gotta get goin’ where the night might lead.
I know what I was feelin’,
But what was I thinkin’?
What was I thinkin’?

I know what I was feelin’, but what was I thinkin’?

— Dierks Bentley – What Was I Thinkin’ (Brett Beavers/Dierks Bentley/Deric Ruttan)

Writer’s Block: A Fruity Synthesis

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If you could create a hybrid of any two fruits in the world, what would they be and why? Describe this new fruit (its name, taste, color, ect.)

Submitted By mangostarrr

Live Journals Writer’s Block

Actually someone already has done it for me, it’s called a Clementine.

Why I would go for that instead of something else? I don’t think you could actually cross anything with a Pineapple and still have it taste as good as the original… let along still be worth eating stand alone;-)

Before another round of Wesnoth…

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It’s been abit since I’ve updated my LJ, haven’t really had much time for it :

The past two weeks I’ve largely been workin’ my ass off either on various projects, at work (grrr!), or training the days away in the servers. At least the training ops are both fun and effective uses of time, the rest… Well let’s just say I hate my job lol. The number of projects I’ve been butter-flying across is getting a bit out of hand, mainly because of the amount of time I can afford to spend on them during the day.

I may end up changing “schools” so to speak, in the near future. I’m not really looking forward to it, because although it should speed this shit up quite a lot. I’ve still got the same problems as always — a family to butt in and working most of the week. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to have a vacation lol, I would probably end up catching up on homework +S.

In the mean time I’ve been playing a lot of Wesnoth. A few years ago, on one of my ‘few’ vacations… I was lucky enough to spend my time split between working, learning another programming language, and a new (to me) game called the Battle for Wesnoth. It’s a great game, a bit J. R. R. Tolkien inspired in my humble opinion, but a very fun Turn-Based Strategy game. I recently picked it up again, for lack of a better time passing… The games quite omni-platform but I’ve only got it installed on my FreeBSD powered laptop. I’ve been looking through the info and working on a custom campaign for it. Although a bit out of place for Wesnoth, it’s an original plot, well at least original in the sense that I’ve never followed that kind of High Fantasy in the first place >_>

I’m quite a bit more of a “Sci Fi Guy”, I prefer fiction and have the book-inhaling habits to prove it hehe. Most of the times I read, I usually go through 50~120 pages a day easily. Dune took a few days but I read enormous amount of it per sitting. That’s one thing I really miss, getting to sit down and READ a book. Most of the time I read these days, it’s either on the web or if lucky enough to have a real book in hand. It’s usually a book on something technical, e.g. TCP/IP. I love books, reading beats TV watching for me, because there can be much greater depth to it. Not to mention that 300~500 pages of novel, spanning 3 or more books (a trilogy) gives one a bit more leeway for time. As much as I love TV and Movies, I really dislike some of the hack-jobs that people have done… Just look at the movie ALIENS, the “classic” version that we’ve watched for years. And the *proper* version with so many deleted scenes and cut-out footage restored. The rat bastards practically destroyed the entire story!!! Although, I admit the classic cut they’ve released so often is still a good movie. But the special edition is a great movie!

Hmm, some days I wish I could win the lotto or something. It would be certainly nice, instant shopping spree for what books I’ve missed over the past decade lol. Dang dogs been chewing on my copy of Vision of the Future, luckily not to much damage… Timothy Zahn’s Thrawn trilogy is one of my favorite set of Star Wars novels, the Hand of Thrawn duology (that it is apart of) also being quite nice. If I recall correctly, Vision of the Future is the one where Luke Skywalker finally purposed to Mara Jade.

After who knows how long people were waiting to see if that would ever happen, it finally did lol.