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So far, I think I’ve been existing largly on salt today lol. Breakfast was Cashews and Peanut Butter toast. Lucnh, heh… A ton of potato chips :

I managed to hit PG#1 fairly early today, I think the poor recruits were ready to pass out by the time, that we should have been starting training. I spent most of the time either making like a maniac on roller blades with a TMP. Or tagging along with Ez,Nick, and Caern in an element. It’s been a rather dynamic day lool.

I’d love to murderlize them….. Rend’em limb from limb as they do my mind. Or in the immortal words of the Robot, ‘Crush, Kill, Destroy!’ But I can’t bring my self to it… I know it’s wrong…

*joke* Now if only I could find a hit man to do it for me. *joke*

Sometimes, I really wish I could let myself be cruel…. And threat people as they deserve without pity or remorse, destroy them bit by bit and let them rest in a hell of there own making.

My only relief from this hell hole, will be getting dragged out to work, and pushed into another hell on earth, until returning to this one.

It’s become so painfully clear that I’m not going to get anything done today. In more ways then one, let us say…. I have managed however to end up on my laptop, on battery power, and in one hell of an uncomfortable typing position! Like normal, when I’m on battery power;I operate in text mode.

I don’t care much for it’s forms handling on this scale in Lynx, but I quite like that LiveJournal really is Lynx friendly!

I’ve been writing in Vim as usual, my ~/Documents/Personal/ folder grows day by day, the only semblence of order being YYYY-MM-DD.txt appended to file names. Often when I’m miserable or have very strong feelings, I’ll sit and write if I can (unobserved). It is more relaxing then sitting quietly and letting my mind rage about in silence. In away, I blame it on my time in Bible Study. When I was ‘free’ enough of schedule to attend it, I did quite enjoy being apart of one of the local groups. During most of the 2~3 years I was around, the focus often rested on a King of Israel with the ability for expression. I remember we covered much of the time of David.

I really miss that, but my life just doesn’t have the free time for it. It as always a bit of a hassle to complete each cycle, and at times pushed my abilities to refrain from nervisness; it was also a lot of fun. Hmmm, maybe someday I’ll live to see it again.

As to my own writings, while it is far from being so wonderfuly composed. It does however, express what _I_ feel more clearly then anything else. If it didn’t, I wouldn’t bother adding another file to my home directory. In a lot of ways, I find English a poor language for such a purpose. English is well suited for precision of description in my opinion, but sorely lacking in many other regards…. Mmm, not really looking forward to tomorrow, anyway you slice it, it’s rather likely to be a day I would rather forget about. At least *hopefully* I’ll have the weekend free; my mind wonders so much as I sit here, brain a drift with only my nimble fingers as its output. Hmm, why does everything seem to be I/O bound, even in the 21st century >_>

HOme from work at least and some good news, I only have to work 2 jobs tomorrow instead of 3… One of our clients had her baby today, so there is more important stuff to worry about ;-). Both mother and child doing well as to everyones prayers.

For me this is doubly good news…. If work was a river, I would be drowning in it, and my family would be pushing my head under.

I didn’t really mind having 3 jobs planned for tomorrow, I usually only have to deal with one. What does piss me off, is when I got into this business… It was to help pay for my high school and save some cash for later. Fast forward several years, I could be almost out of college by now instead of still in HS, and she ain’t saved a cotton pickin’ dime along the way. And the only way I’ll likely ever get out of this business, is my life turned up side down, in ways I don’t want lol.

Finally…. I managed to get shaved, not like there is much else I can get done. One nice thing, there are two or three things I can do under almost any condition, as long as I can keep my eyes on what I’m doing that is. With luck, maybe my family will settle down for awhile, so I can actually get something DONE.

I almost never shave, because I just don’t have the damn time. In this case, it’s been so long since I last found the time to shave. That I was starting to resemble King Leonidas in 300, only much shorter and less muscle bound lol. Willow was staring at me as if to say, “wtf happened to you?”. Heck, I barely recognize myself now… It’s been that long lol. I don’t usually look like a short-haired ookie out of desire, but out of necessity. There is only so much shit that you can cram into a small stretch of time and still be ready to rumble in the morning.

Especially in this place !!!!

Nearly an hour later with razor, scissors, and electric razor, it’s finally done. People always try to pawn off electric razors on me but I’d rather use something that works after the first week. With how long it is before the problem of ‘need to’ and ‘have time to’ coincide, an old time straight razor would actually be most convenient

Hit the DVD Collection for something to watch, I’ll probably end up watching them each 3 times before Monday…. Because I’d actually like to see the ‘entire’ movie when I start watching one. To be honest, the reason I largely gave up on watching TV. Is because whenever something decent was on, I never got to watch the frigging thing!!! —> Gotta love family, especially family that thinks you’re a servant.

Was to darn tired to get coding, so I went to bed and figured I’d get up later around 0100-0200 and start after a short nap. Fell straight a sleep to dream land. Woke up a quarter after six. I’ve been on “power up” cycle since then. Haha, just moved from my desk to sitting in bed with the laptop, now Willow is pissed at me. But I think my lower back muscles will be more pissed at me later. Anyway, laid back down and tried to get my brain back online.

Ironically I eventually fell asleep and got up several more times, >_> all short cat-naps but that’s normal; all the way to dreaming about reaching my LJ and starting the day off. It’s generally nice that most of my dreams were fairly normal, as far as normal goes for me lol. I finally got up and out of bed a little after 0800.

No one has any idea how badly I would’ve liked to see the sunrise but alas, impossible to break stealth for it.

Dang it, Willow just took off barking… Probably some poor schlep on their way to work. *mutters* Thanks a lot Willow, wake up the whole house when I try to get up early and code before they do. I guess this is what I get for not letting her have the entire bed ^_^.

Dogs !!!

With any luck the factual and honest answer that I’ve went to bed, woke up around 0615, 0730, and 0800, then hit the code will be believed — this time I have not coded the whole night through lol…. Thank GOD it’s been awhile since my last ~2300-0700 run, they are killers on actually getting any sleep!

Ended up as good as passed out cold… No work done, but I finally got some sleep lol.

Managed to catch the end of The Matrix. I like the end game, although I must admit the gun fights are pretty tame compared to Equilibrium (a real must see!)

finish later.

Another day of hell almost over.

Another day of it sure to come.

Just once, I wish

I wish I could soar.

Spread my wings and fly, leave the past gone far behind.

And look down upon all that should come my way…

Another day of hell almost over,

Another day of it sure to come.

Still fightin’ it off one blow at a time, bit by nit.

As they nail another one in my coffin.

Just hoping I’ll drop, ‘fore they do.

Oh God, why am I here?

It’s just another day of pain

Just another battle to come roarin’ through these halls.

Leavin’ nothing behind but flames in its wake.

Another day of hell almost gone by,

Another trip through the flames waitin’ for me on the other side

As I choke on the ashes, lungs burning from the flumes

Of a day nearly gone.

Just two more days of work until the weekend…. I hope the “getting off early” streak continues !!!

Because I’ve got a mega-shitload of stuff to do after work lol.

enough stuff to do to choke a frickin’ horse….
work tomorrow
and to damn tired to do any of it :