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Crashed and burned last night… Woke up, put Dune on, fell asleep during the prologue, woke up >4 hours later, turned it off, fell asleep, woke up some time after 0900.

To get dragged out on a shopping trip, multiple stores during an expedition that was planned for Monday.

To get stuck running ragged most of the day with this and thats.

To end up setting up new lamps and doing everything else under the sun when I was just about to hit code, 6 hours late.

To have a cheapo General Electric 60 watt light bulb ‘pop’ in one of the new lamps

To have said light bulb break off the base ‘cup’ that screws into the socket — a first for me.

To trying to remove the dang thing from the socket, no luck

To try dismantling it in an attempt to get a better method, no dice

To trying to twist it out by the piece that the filaments feed through, nice glass fragments gone airborne…

To people trying to pilers out the thing and setting glass zig-zagging in front of my face

To using every tool within hands reach to work on solving the problem, including a nutpick

To having to ‘ride along’ to the store to exchange it.

To getting a refund because they were out of them.

To having to change all of the light bulbs in remaining lamps to another brand of cheap 40 watt’ers because the others were to bright.

To it being a quarter after minute and still having nothing the fuck done, that was supposed to be finished two days ago.

To writing the blog post and wondering if I’ve got the engery to work on things tonight, let along the probability that one would have to out-pace a hacker to have a snowballs chance in hell of finishing the workload before Monday; switch over date to the ‘next’ project. Never mind the fact that I’m about ready to crash as far as being able to concentrate on digging into poorly written and undocumented amount of code. And we are talking > 6,000 lines of code with less then a 100 containing comments, mostly reminders who to send the bill for a catscan to when your done sorting out there crap and the network protocol used.

To thinking, maybe a great night of actually sleeping for once was ill-timed, or perfectly timed but that’s a matter of opinion.

And my mothers got the nerve to say she’s not been able to breath all day… When ~15 hours later I’ve not even been allowed to start on what I was supposed to have FINISHED long ago.

*shakes head*

Some times life here really pisses me off. I think, if I didn’t love my family… I’d tell’em to go to hell and fuck themselves along the way, but unfortunately I love them… So I’m fucked lol.

I just keep marching forward, till I can’t see the trail of foot steps behind me. And I wonder here as I keep on going like a jet costing on flumes, how much longer before things get done?

It really would be wonderful, if people could respect the fact that I might actually have something important to do, or that thins I need to get done might actually have value… Although I’d probably settle on not being treated like a sub-human or an ignoramus around here :

I hope Sunday, will at least be a day where stuff can get done… If not, I think I’m sitting my ass down and refusing to lift a finger unless it involves

C_O_D_E

Oh… Fell asleep after dinner, woke uo around 2200 local and went to bed, just got up about 0100 local. Dang I needed that !!! I slept like a stone. I think an atom bomb could’ve gone off and I don’t think I would’ve noticed :

Ended up dreaming about being knee deep in World War II with a Thompson and a captured Lee Enfield, bit odd but.. Whatever. To being stuck in a bad bat man movie, to being stuck on a space station, to being in the middle of a F.E.A.R. part III about to happen, when I decided enough of this crud time to wake up >_>

That’s one thing that’s kind of strange, I usually know that I’m dreaming when I dream, maybe because my dreams are almost always crazy. And when they are not, usually startle me in different ways…

I’ve basically been working since Saturday night straight, breaking to go to work, the bathroom, sleep, and eat lol. Haven’t had much time for the usual forums lately … so may as well take a moment to catch up now.

The advantage of all of this? It might be a bit of working oneself into the ground… But it’s getting things done in a week rather then by next year lol. And if I get done early… I get to relax on the weekend hehe.

Ahh… Almost got everything done for the week.

I need to finish some adjustments to the test bed module and one library module to match changes made tonight and get things that are working back ported to the main. The test bed module will be a cakewalk to adjust, probably will have that done tonight.

I’m itching to move onto my next primary objective… But it will have to wait for another day 🙁

With a wee bit of luck I should have all of my web matters done before Thursday, so I can kick back in TG#3 and PG#1 for a little R&R before moving onto ‘off duty’ week No.2 -> working on the SOP Rewrites.

You know, that is one good part about making like a workaholic with piled up stuff — if you get done early, you get to do something else for awhile xD

/*
 * head hits keyboard, begins to snore loudly
 */

Oy…

Was to tired to get back to work on the website last night. Went straight to bed but willow wouldn’t let me sleep, as usual.

My original plan was to lay down for a few and theng et back to work, so much for that idea +S

I’ve gotten most of the coding end done, just need to setup the test case for the database, proof the changes and get it scripted and transfered after hours.

Now if my sound would stop shorting out… The F’ing wintel machine is the only PC here that has problems with damn near everything :. I’ve changed headphones to the best pair I have left, and it’s still screwing up so that means it’s not the headphones >_>

Executed the clothes shopping raid today, took longer then planned 🙁 but I got everything that I wanted (according to plan), got more of it, and while my original budget was $150 I spent a little more then $120 xD

*does the victory dance*

4 jeans, 14 briefs, 8 pocketed T-Shirts, and I hate socks enough to start with that the ones i have can stay lol.

Ripped apart the closet, unscrupulously chucking everything that I ain’t gonna wear, don’t want, or can’t fit in anymore. 7 bags are piled up +S, for donation or trashing it’s outgoing and good riddens !!!!

Also got some Trident gum which is worth while IMHO. Glad that the clothes shopping is over and done with… Next phase is to have an oder placed for that Sennheiser headset — it’ll be nice to be able to talka gain on TeamSpeak.

Since I was under budget I split the remainder and gave part of it to Ma to add to the LORD’s money, and refused to take no for an answer. My Grandmother always used to keep a $100 tucked away in a clip in case of emegency. And she always would end up giving it to my mom whenever things were bad, it’s her goal to someday replace it. It’s been over a decade since my Grandmother passed on but I’m not sure if she’s ever totally replaced it, every time it’s gotten close we’ve always had a financial kidney-punch :. With luck in a month or two it should be at the mark.

The LORD’s been good to me, much better then I deserve… Despite what issues I have with my life, it’s the closest I’m likely to get to tithing with the money I have.

I’ve also posted my ‘two weeks off’ on [SAS]. I figure one week to concentrate on the website, one week to concentrate on the SOP rewrites.

There is really nothing of great importance to get done with the website, anything important is already taken care of :-).The stuff I need to get done, is more the sort of it’s better that it gets done but it won’t kill anyone if it don’t get done, assuming someone remembers why it works as it does in 20 years lol. I could swear… Wiz and I are probably the greatest two morons at this stuff when compared to our predecessors (professional) educations at it. But at least we are trying to make things better, not leave a pile of kludges behind for the next poor sap.

Wiz’s great thing was securing the website, thanks to him it’s locked up tighter then a ticks ass after an all you can eat special. For me the big thing, really is leaving it better then how I found it… I’m self educated but I’m still a programmer, and I’m a lover for engineering and designing things at heart. Some of the things I see make my head hurt, it works but it’s like… If your going to do it, do it right for Pete’s sake.

One thing that I really like about my duties as Warrant Officer Class 1 on the team. Is although I’m more busy then I was as an RSM + Associate Webmaster, as WO1+Webmaster I’m able to work on things that people don’t see. I like that, most of the things I do, no one will ever get to see or know about and if they did, I’d probably have fsck’d it up anyhow. I like being able to work in the background, take care of the unseen ins and outs of keeping the clocks running. But I know, when I’m done… Whoever becomes webmaster after me (I’m not immortal) will hopefully have a well done and easy to maintain website. None of the things Wiz faced when he wound up in the boots, and none of the cruft I’ve got to deal with along with the rest of the Admin Team.

Operation Excalibur will never be what I originally dreamed it to be, but by George it is gonna be completed !

With the SOP rewrites, a lot of it is done.. But it needs to get the finalization work done,hammer it home so GCHQ can review it, hopefully approve it without shouting, and the SNCOs can train the NCOs to train the Trps/Rcts and life can continue. The SOP rewrites have been like my careers work in [SAS], I’ve tinkered with it since I was a humble LCpl… Tried to make a strong effort at it as an SSM when I was now officially allowed to help out with it. And eventually found myself as the only asshole able to oversee it and being RSM, responsible for it getting done.

It’s my goal to do my best to give my team the best set of SOPs that us guys can create… If I was the only writer the SOP Rewrites would’ve been done a year ago but with Rasa’s help these are going to be even better. It’s great that when one of us gets to far out of whack, the other knows how to deal with it lol.

Being the coder of the lot, I’m doing every thing I can to leave the SOPs in a state where it won’t become what my generation grew up with. Stale, out dated, insufficient, and nearly impossible to modify… However good they are that’s how I feel the old SOPs have scaled with the years. That’s what I fight to prevent happening again, you could say I find it comforting to know that half the clan could be hit by a shooting star and our groups tactical heritage will continue on to the younger generations.

And why do I feel so damn old, I’m only going to be 20 in June !!!

*sigh*

Life’s really been quite a lot of just keep putting one foot in front of the other lately.

Most of my time spent workin’ all day or slavin’ over some project, and my nights login’ for something more.

I’m currently sitting on about $300… My grandfather sent me money for my birthday early. I was a bit worried that he might’ve sent it because he could’ve thought he might not be here come June… But my aunt says he’s doing pretty well now. To be honest, I’d rather have my Grandfather then the money.

All I’ve ever really wanted from him for my birthday is a birthday card, never have gotten one though… But as my mom says it’s just not his way of doing things :.

For me it’s largely just another day, but I don’t say that aloud because my father would say the same thing lol. I know I’m going to get stuck buying clothes and the sad thing is I agree, I need to lol. Most of my clothes are getting to be like rags between the holes, rips, and clorox stains between home and work wear & tear. You could say I’m a lot like my father, when I like my clothes I wear those and not much else, and I wear them until they fall apart. I remember my mother telling me that when he died, he held up a pair of his jeans and could see light shining through them, they were so thin ! And yes my shoes are usually splitting apart by the time I’ll agree to buying new ones 😛

I’ve alloted a budget of $150 which is enough to replace everything I essentially wear and enough of it to last. Very hard for me to do it… Although I’ve never had a problem with spending inordinate amounts of money, I’m a very well thought out person when it comes to spending money, because I never have any to spend lol.

I know the value of a buck, and when they are rare you learn to spend it wisely ’cause if you don’t, ya ain’t gonna get another chance. If I ever had a real sum of money I think I would invest it, grow it so it could be used for some thing worth while someday. Hell, if you could save even $1 everyday, you could have over $3,600 in 10 years. in just over 40 years you’d have like $15,000. I’m not a big fan of spending money on myself, so it’s probably good to be single atm.. Other wise I probably would be doubly broke lol.

I also utterly hate shopping, at least when oogling computer parts isn’t involved that is >_<. I know exactly whats on the target list, and the raid will be conducted with brutal military efficiency ! Anyone planning on doing any 'one more thing' ing is gonna wind up in the dust rail hehe. Getting me to go shopping _willingly_ is a feat of it's own, let along to get me to waste time at it ^_^. One thing I do know, since 75-80% of my wardrobe isn't used, if I'm paying -> I’m chucking everything I don’t want (give away, donate, or trash), along with the throwing out the ‘rags’ that I’m stuck doing away with hehe.

I’m also getting a new headset one way or the other… Don’t know if I’ll be able to order it off the web but I’ve got a nice pair of Sennheisen lined up with a mic. Last time I had to open Ghost a slot in PG#1, I needed to ask Big12 to come on TS to tell Ghost when the slot was opened for him… Because his laptop can’t handle XFire and I can’t talk over TeamSpeak with a Mic, and texting over TS doesn’t help when the other parties full screen in Rvs lol.

I need to save a bit for school and I’m not sure how that is going to work out…, But having the funds stored will be helpful for it. Although I’d rather like to upgrade my laptops memory while I can it’s not important.

512MB of PC2700 ain’t terribly fast but it gets the job done. For $300 I could get a barebones kit and scrape together some parts from another PC and get a 5th machine running in this house but I don’t really need another computer, for the cost of some PC2100 DDR and a Wireless card I could get a junked PC I’ve got here running anyway.

I once set aside a $100 to do some thing I’ve always wanted, make a donation to my clan… But family managed to bleed me dry before I could. Things are going well with [SAS] in that regard because of our members, one reason I’ve always wanted to donate is because I know whose asses the bills come out of at the end of the day. Because of my family, even if I did managed to succeed in it I wouldn’t trust the USPS as much as Random to get it to the right place and that’d be my only option 😐

So I guess that’s out, I don’t really care much for spending money on myself, aside from more computers that is >_> but as much as I really would like to take most of the $300 I’ve got and just

SAVE IT

for the future. I know if I don’t spend it, I’ll eventually spend it on my family eventually when they run short lol.

It don’t ‘pay’ to be a nice guy you could say but, I’m who and what I am.

Considering the headache and the number of times I’ve fucked sshd_config, the size of my splitting headache, and the hell that this house is — It looks like getting any _real_ work done is going to have to wait until next weekend.

Oh wait, the fuckers will screw me over then too

So it will have to wait to the weekend after that

Oh wait, the fuckers will screw me over then too

So it will have to wait to the weekend after that

Oh wait, the fuckers will screw me over then too

So it will have to wait to the weekend after that

Some times I wish I could just _legally_ bind and gag people for a few hours, it really would make life so much fuckin’ easier.

It seems, any time I even think about trying to get some thing done…

These @%@!%!’ers find someway of dropping a hydrogen bomb on it :

What the hell do I have to do in order to get work done when I’m home from work? Hog tie people to a chair and ducktape there mouths lol.

<joke>Hey… That’s not a bad idea</joke>

Another pointless day almost done…

We started work today at our new clients, just as I expected it’s more stressful then it is hard work… Gotta love being driving batty but at least the clients are not the ones causing it >_>

Spent some time in PG#1 and in TG#3 and cruised the usual forums, sent over a dozen spam-reports on forums.pcbsd.org :

*sigh* another unfulfilling day almost gone.

I’d rather like to hit some code… But I’m to fscking tired tonight. Looks like I’ll have to make do with a few rounds of kpat (KPatience) instead :