The only opinion among those on earth, that truly matters, is your own.
Anyone that matters, can try to understand or just agree to disagree and be at peace.
If anyone matters to you, you will do like wise when necessary.
For the rest: they can stand aside or they can be left behind.
Year: 2010
Fedora Vs Debian Vs Slackware
Now having less need of maintaining a Windows XP install, last night I began more thorough computations about setting up a GNU/Linux distribution on my desktop. I would certainly like to see how the SWAT 4 support has come since my last outing, and this time I intend to use regular WINE.
As always, the real question is which distribution to use? Arguably the least trouble would be to setup Ubuntu 10.04, but I’m more familiar with Debian and Slack’ based systems as it is. This time, I was thinking about going with Fedora: I’m not fond of Red Hat Linux and it’s modern relations, but it would be a fresh change.
The main thing that concerns me with Fedora, is the stability and upgrade path, mostly the amount of time needed to abuse things. Ubuntu is fairly painless, at least when you run Long Term Support (LTS) releases on your stable systems. My only gripe with Debian, being it can be a chore to get reasonably up to date debs, and sometimes (for example with Pidgin) it can be preferable to be ready op on that. Although I’ve no big qualms about building from source, when the developers actually knew wtf they were doing about getting it building in the first place.
I’m more of the OpenBSD type, but Linux as a “For the masses” system, is much easier to live with for me, then Windows XP. With 350~360 gigs of disk space free, running full development environments in twins won’t make a dent either.
An explaination, just for the sake of clarity
In my previous journal entry, I wrote this in part of it:
the most offensive action that I’ve taken on NTFs forum, was reminding Rouge not to boast without something to boast about, and he wouldn’t be the first person to get that rudeness from me.
I am referring to an incident in the public announcement thingy on NTFs forums, namely the responses I made to Rouges statement regarding that they could quickly make miracles but quality takes more time. (That was an indirect quote: obviously.)
My words about the effort involved with setting up a forum, were correct. I know, because I’ve managed or moderated several forums in my own tenors0. Like wise, I chose those words because I already knew that NTF had a private forum running for several months or so: Hunter some what leaked it publicly. Normally when placed in a situation like NTFs leadership was, you want to get a moderate website put up quickly, and begin building your forum. That includes a public sector to attract people to your unit. NTF on the other hand, appears to have kept quite secretive about things, not surprising when one considers that they would likely perceive [SAS] as a potential enemy, and even post-[SAS], I may be considered so as well.
Obviously, I have felt a bit uncomfortable that they would run it so close to an underground. As I have always said, I prefer to run things above board whenever possible. Rouges post when parsed, by someone who has dealt in American English since birth as I have, and as ‘technically’ focused as I have in the past lustrum++, implies that NTF having a forum was much newer, then to my knowledge is widely known, and in my eyes is a cline to saying you did in two hours, instead of X weeks below the public radar.
Making a statement about how easy it is to setup a forum, in fact even if it’s hundred times as complex as [SAS]’s was when I left, it still would be a cake walk for NTF to have set it up any time they pleased: in fact it could be automated if it was that big and complex, thus making it even faster. Making what information I have in that regard, known to several NTF members before hand, was my ‘polite’ way of pointing out what I’ve seen. Being in [SAS] uniform at the time, I had to be more nice about saying that, and won’t rule out Rouges comment as potentiality being a fly on a hook ;).
Where I was my ‘most offensive’ on their forums, i.e. I was essentially being rude with the last part: where I made a reference to the admin teams choice of software and their leaderships C31 structure. That single sentence at the end, was for me, borderline on being disrespectful, if not being so.
I also chose to phrase it that way, in order to give Rouge a chance to show that he’s still up to snuff under fire, rather then disappoint me by turning it into a flame, as only an unfit officer would. I would’ve called it to a prompt end if that had happened. Instead (then just a Captain) Timbo took it home with the up most professionalism, exactly as I would expect from him (the sternness included), and exactly as any decent officer should have done when faced with that, and how I expect Rouge would have (minus the sternness). Timbo stepping in however, removed my opportunity to size Rouge up for any change in his usually excellent demeanor. Doing that was no less then satisfying my curiosity for the fly: don’t forget I’ve known NTFs leadership since they were babes in the woods, and know well how their management style tends to take shape. Normally I would not take such an action, even (as I prefer) so overtly, but after Rouges actions of late: I considered taking that target of opportunity justified2. Even better, if properly handled, it would reflect well upon my friends in NTF, something they could seriously have used in formalizing their clans public view. Would you rather face me, or a real prick? :-P.
As I told a dear friend after wards, I’ve no real intention of being rude over there, but I am still one who believes in expressing his opinions honestly. Being blunt rather than overly sugar coating stuff, is also a virtue in my book. Perhaps developing programming skills has had to big an impact on my brains thinking :-o.
Footnotes:
0: DEx, SLDF SF, SAS 22nd EVR, and PC-BSD all come to mind in various capacities.
1: it means “Command, Control, and Communications”. Basically how you issue commands, keep your men under control, and address the issue of communication between components. It is one expansion of the more widely known C2.
2: he has privately admitted to what equates to breaking his word (i.e. lying), in such a way that I won’t stand for it.
NTF: Bad Omens Prove Right?
Earlier this morning, I logged into the NTF forum and made a reply to this thread. Wishing to be cordial, and great the person fairly, I said something like this:
Nice to meat you, hope to catch you on [SAS] Proving Grounds, and the NTF servers later
.
I think he means this Rouge: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Postdoctoral_research but I’m not familiar with such.
Being an ex [SAS] member and someone who still plays regularly there, I felt it most respectful of both clans to reference each of their servers equally. Those are the servers where I tend to play (and thus likely to meet anyone), and as I am not in-line for NTF recruitment, so I feel demonstrating that fact by referencing both clans servers, is all the more justified for a man in my position: as opposed to saying nothing at all about wanting to game with the chap! I do however admit that I could have placed the NTF server first, but I feel that the one at the end of the sentence gains the greater impact, and thus should belong to NTF in their own forum.
After waking up from a short nap, I again checked the forum: and noticed I had received a PM. Upon opening it, I was informed by NTF_CPT_Medic that although his clan does not like censorship, he removed my “Promoting” of the SAS PGs. Maybe it’s ‘promoting’ if the other clan has been ten servers to your three?.
For the more astute reader, I will also point out that my routine is to check both public clans forums, and that my SAS account is experiencing technical difficulties, hence my silence on sasclan.org. I try to treat them equally in that regard, so any silence on that forum should not be taken as a reflection my regards for [SAS].
In essence, Medics edit was converting my sentence to a sole reference to NTF. Which I specifically choice not to do for the aforementioned reasons. My personal code of conduct, dictates that I show a certain measure of due respect towards NTF, even more so as a guest when posting in their forums, and much more so that several of my friends now call the place ‘home’. Like wise my personal code of conduct, dictates that I be respectful toward the [SAS], who I have called home for nearly a quarter of my life longer than NTF has existed. People who have known me well for the past 4-6 years, will not be surprised that I feel such a way.
Maybe it is the American in me, coming from a land where we believe that freedom of speech is worth fighting for, or perhaps the old fashioned blood in my veins that says be tactful of both and any clans when posting in such a situation, but I found this moderation to be silly. It would be like allowing a guest to come into your home, and forbade him from acknowledging that any other home exists. Of course, unless this only applies to servers owned by [SAS], which I sincerely doubt, knowing NTFs founders for as long as I have.
This is the assertion that makes me find fault in this behaviour:
If I wanted to create my own clan, and call it the 7th Sabre for example, and walk into the NTF or [SAS] servers as 7S_Spidey01 or something like that, it should be my right to do so unless published server rules prevent the clan tags (or I am banned). The way my forum post on NTF was moderated by NTF_CPT_Medic, would mean that on my way out of their server, saying:
“7S_Spidey01: ggs y’all I’m going to 7th Sabres server, hf”
would constitute the same the same level of ‘promotion’ as my original forum post did, in fact, it would be doubly so, unless NTF instituted a server rule forcing all members of all other clans to remove their tags upon joining the NTF servers. I.e. the 7S_ in my name on it’s very own would be greater advertisement of another clans servers than my forum post was.
In my book, you cannot dis-allow someone saying “Nice to meat you, hope to catch you on XXX clans server, and the NTF servers later ;).” in the forums, and not disallow saying “AnyPlayer: ggs y’all I’m going to XXX clans server, hf” and every similar choice of words, form ever being uttered in your game server. Disallowing one without the other, and not publishing separate rules for each (forum and server) that state those separate rules, in my opinion would be promoting a form of hypocrisy. The difference between those statements would be further distanced, making the second a greater “Promotion” if said by a 7S_Spidey01 rather than AnyPlayer. In which case moderating the forum post and not banning such a statement as I’ve used as an exampled above, would be a demonstration of seriously flawed logic. Like wise to ban those, would obviously imply that just saying what “7S” means would be promoting another clan. Bullshit?
Perhaps being a young clan makes the NATO Task Force more aware of such things, or fearful of unwanted competition, but in my honest opinion, is just down right fool hearty. I know that the documents and chats leading up to NTFs creation suggested that it could trivially become like a military dictatorship with strong safe guards against abuse, but I did not expect it to so quickly demonstrate more draconian views then the SAS 22nd Elite Virtual Regiment! Something that makes me chuckle even more, is that Sniper had a regular tendency to shoot himself in the foot with how his moderator actions appear.
I take no offense at what was done to my post, and I have made no public question of the moderators action in the forum (behind the fact that my signature links to this blogs main page: as do most of my forum signatures on the internet), so I do not expect any oppression over it by their administrators. I’ve never felt entirely welcomed on NTFs servers/forums, so it wouldn’t bother me if I end up on someones private shit list. Anyone worthy of my respect will take this post as impersonal as I have taken being moderated. It’s NTFs forum, their property, so they have a right to moderate posts however their clan policy deems fitting. As a friend pointed out, my journal, my grounds: and the most offensive action that I’ve taken on NTFs forum, was reminding Rouge not to boast without something to boast about, and he wouldn’t be the first person to get that rudeness from me. Here, I speak my mind openly.
Another one of those toooo long days I’m afraid.
In addition to lending thoughts to evil plans >_>, I’ve managed to get about 10 minutes driving in for the day (oi), but by a stroke of luck was able to get in an hours night driving! Because I have spent so many years in the dark, even drawing by nothing more then TV light, my night vision is very well developed. By now my eyes are probably closer to a cats then an average humans at night lol. I was able to see greater then 80-85% of normal when we were out, and that was about 95% of the time. In fact I could see better on the road tonight, than I can see during the day if I take my glasses off! My brain is a lot like a computer, one that can combine the visual samplings of what I see, what I’ve seen, and what can be gathered about what I can’t see, and interpolate the information creating a hybrid mental image. I’ve been doing that for something like 14-16 years with a high level of precision :-|. Unlike in a video game (where I can’t see squat in the dark), in real life one (or at least I) can much more readily discern the depth involved. In a video game it’s like trying to walk through block of wall, in real life it’s a composite shadow, very different. Either that or my monitor sucks compared to the quality of my eyes <_<.
Also managed to hit SWAT 4 for a little bit in the evening, my thoughts can probably be best summed up as feuer frei. Although it is a strange thing not to admin-login on the server, it actually feels ‘good’ not to have to run crowd control every day… let the juniors do it more :-D. As WO1, I was generally stuck as “Admin on deck” because of the regulations [SAS] has on that stuff. Despite the fact that most of my gaming time has been on MW4 and GR lately, no real rust was found in my game play. In particular tonight, was a right and proper fuddle. I was assigned to get ready on a door while the other team secured the area, suspect popped it and I slammed it shut. When the the prick pushed it open again, I dropped the hammer: burst fired my MP5 taking him down, carried on into the room on mixtures of semi-automatic and burst-fire: popping a tango right, tango left, and then swiping to cover and engaging a fourth tango (from the right) as my backup man finally slid his butt into the room. It was almost a Chuck Norris moment lol.
One thing that I like immensely about my ‘new found freedom’, is since I am no longer an [SAS] member, I do not have to water down my technique or obey the SOPs: I can approach situations more like I would, if it was really happening. [SAS] tactics are strongly influenced by realism but are not entirely the same. I have ‘cringed’ for years on numerous spaces, but never been permitted to refine things. At best, usually pointed out that it’s the Captains job.
I also spent a portion of the day, discussing a bit about the C++ memory model. Personally I think it’s easier to do circled around a work station than over remote, but at least it’s a topic I have a fairly well developed knowledge base in.
It has been a bit of a long day, but at least I managed to sleep an extra hour… lol. Today, I began work on my memoirs, most portions relating to 2004-2005 are sorted along with part of 2006, leaving the years 2007-2010 worth.
Been thinking a bit about the people I’ve met, and how they’ve impacted my life. I’ve encountered countless people, standing in the front line trenches all these years, and have developed some important relationships along the way. As my memoirs are reaching the time he was a recruit, I can’t help but look back, and see how far we’ve come since then, a certain friend and I. Man, 2006? Has it really been that dang long… feels like just yesterday, that we stood shoulder to shoulder in [SAS]’s service. My good right arm during his tenor, and a trusted friend through thick and thin, even after all these years. Some how, I’ve always known if we ended up in jail or something, he’d be the one sitting next to me, saying we screwed up, not the one to come bail me out lol.
Man, I feel old. It’s like feeling that I pre-date mountains o/. For how long I was an integral fixture in [SAS] life, and just a worker bee before that, I spent so many years there, I have seen mountains climb and tumble…. I am that old.
It’s a whole lotta history, and I can still see so much of it in my mind. I remember a friend, one much more recently developed, once asking if I “Forget anything”. Really, I rarely forget anything important: I might let things rest out of respect rather then bring it up again, but I that’s as close as I get. I can see the years behind me, like a trail of stepping stones in the cliff face.
A lot of people fairly close to me, don’t quite understand why I am ‘wasting’ time writing these memoirs, that at least, has been the widest consensus. Perhaps, no one can truly understand that, not without being inside my head; which isn’t an experience I’d recommend even if it were possible lol.
This was part of my life, an important one, even if much to voluminous in both those respects. I can look back down the trail, and see who I was when I came to [SAS], and see ahead further down the path to where I am going. It’s important for me, to be able to do that. I have always said, those who forget their history, tend to repeat it. I spent many years of my life, finding myself, and the paths one walks, reflects in part, who you are. It’s not us, who shapes are experiences, but our experiences who shapes us.
My life has been far from sweet flowers, it’s had plenty of hills and valleys to carve through; as I have said for years, when people ask “How are you” –> I’m still breathing, never known it to get better than that. Yet just the same, it has not been without it’s gems, those rare diamonds that make it worth the journey.
Tonight, I’m listening to one of my favourite songs, it’s one of the two songs that I once sang on [SAS] TeamSpeak; heh, wonder if JB remembers that :-P. I am, still after all these years, even able to remember the map I was playing on, the kit I was using. My brains just a huge hash table.
Most of the best moments in the past six or seven years, have all been around [SAS]. Perhaps that is a terrible thing (I truly think that it is), but it is also a wonderful thing. Just think, how miserable a chapter it would have been, to have lived it solo.
You can’t walk forward, if you forget how to move your feet.
Best summary of why I resigned from [SAS]
10:45:42) Malty: Spidey…I gotta ask tho, why didn’t you keep your Tags, and just resign your duties as WO
(10:46:36) Spidey01: My personal code of conduct does not allow me to hold a position that I’m unable to fulfill, even if it is my superiors who make it so.
(10:47:11) Malty: Yeah, but why not remain an SAS member, but just a trooper, or apply to be Vet or something
(10:48:11) Spidey01: That was the original plan drafted several weeks ago, Randoms attempt to stave it off yet still do nothing, changes the equation
(10:48:16) Spidey01: s/changes/changed/
(10:48:45) Malty: Ahh ok..
(10:49:03) Spidey01: and if you don’t mind, I think I’d like to post this little excert on my journal as a summery of my ‘why’, lol
(10:49:51) Malty: yeah sure
(10:49:55) Spidey01: thanks
The past couple of days, I’ve been thinking about how best to go about writing my memoirs. I’ve known [SAS] since 2004, with my entry to the selection course being 2005-08-07 and my completion of the Selection Course being 2005-09-14. So it has been a long time, lol.
I’ve long planned to write some form of memoir about my times in [SAS], to be published posthumously, after retirement, expulsion, or forced resignation. Both being someone who hears or sees just about everything, and having been placed in positions of power, I know a considerable some about [SAS]. My ethical code on the other hand, ensures that what is trusted secret, remains on until death. People have often told me thngs in confidence, and although I have few secrets of my own, I never will violate those of others. However much of my life and times in [SAS], are not classified material: but instead something you can only learn by having been there, or through someone who was there first hand. That’s what my memoirs will contain: a reminiscence of my experiences there.
What’s weighed on my mind, is more so the effort of writing them then for the contents. I’ve always decided on most of the omissions, for obvious reasons that I’m both morally and honour bound to make about [SAS] internal affairs. The finished materal will of course end up on my journal, in one form or another. Odds are I’ll either write it in gdocs, or I’ll expand my XSL stylesheet for the occasion and mate it with a macro pre processor. I have stylesheets that allow me to write in DocBook, then convert to forum or blog posts as desired; but it doesn’t (at this time) handle interlinked footnotes/references as well as I desire.
Damn it, I feel old….
So far, I’ve been adjusting well to life outside of [SAS]. The only thing that irks me, is still being unable to access my forum account. It was finally unsuspended a couple days ago, but it is still impossible to log in. I’ve e-mailed the webmaster about it two days ago, and again today since there was no response; just now, I’ve even sent a more detailed debugging analysis to aid the ‘webmaster’.
There’s no way that I can reply to any threads in Chit Chat or Clan Topics, until my account is in proper working order. Unlike certain people (gives Snipe and Ithen the evil eye), I don’t believe in setting up other accounts unless necessary.
Just about everything of real interest on the [SAS] Forum, lives in the NCOs part of the board, but at least the Publicly accessible forum provides an avenue to stay in touch. That’s principally why I registered, and visit NTFs public forum regularly.
This one’s just for the geeks…
A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts, “Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?”
The man below says: “Yes. You’re in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field.”
“You must work in Information Technology” says the balloonist.
“I do” replies the man. “How did you know?”
“Well” says the balloonist, “Everything you have told me is technically correct, but it’s no use to anyone.”
The man below says, “You must work in business.”
“I do” replies the balloonist, “but how did you know?”
“Well,” says the man, “You don’t know where you are, or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault.”
— Business Partners