This was drafted a couple days ago (~2), I’ve decided to just edit and annotate it rather than rewrite it.

After giving about a day to see whether or not progress would be made with GCHQs server plans, I formally gave Operation Charlie the green light: extending “An Offer from an Ex-Patriot” to the leadership of [SAS].

This consisted of a short brief with supplemental material to coincide with [SAS]_Maj_WIZ’s obvious two pence worth in accusations. Attached was the offer itself: essentially that I would provide a share in my personal hardware/network resources, to furnish [SAS] with a temporary game server. According to the brief, starting off with one RvS server, and if up to the load, a SWAT 4: TSS server0; but however due to timing issues (See prev-reference to the major) beyond my control, [SAS] would either have to make do as guests on my TS3 or make other arrangements for VoIP. I also noted that depending on when the accept/reject/fu reply was received, my system could be deployed within 15 minutes to 24 hours.

The agreement in the PDF attachment was fairly simple, mostly serving to shield me from any legal liabilities: namely that GCHQ would have to yield any right to kick at yours truly hosting an `[SAS] Interm Server`, delegating adminlogin to [SAS], and like wise making GCHQ responsible should the affair incur any unexpected / freak costs of operation associated with the long term use of it. The ability to print, sign, and therefore scan the document was also provided. All things being what they are, I will only provide the machine under the specified terms being taken into agreement. I reckon that only the OIC or 2IC in absence of the OIC, can appropriately accept the offer without a consensus of some sort among GCHQ. My reasons for enforcing this, has to do with the actions of the Major and Lt. Colonel leading to my resignation: that I while I’ll still put my back into such a breach, I will not do so with a potential noose around my neck for doing so; and their actions would leave a noose there without such an agreement in place. Nothing personal, purely business.

My offer was delivered May 6th, to the four members of [SAS] GCHQ, to the fullest extent of my ability, and the Major has been both personally and professionally aware of my (this) emergency action plan for a couple of years, should it ever be needed in time of trouble. So far, only [SAS]_Capt_JB has shown any regard for this, [SAS]_Maj_WIZ generally expressing indifference and retreat into non-SAS games (What is the old saying, that Nero fiddled whilst Rome burnt? I’d almost call recent affairs treason), [SAS]_CO_Random and [SAS]_Capt_En4cer demonstrating utter uselessness or a shameless level of absenteeism.1

I am more aware of [SAS]’s long term server plans than most, in fact, generally pre-dating NTFs silly Memorandum of Understanding. The purpose of my interm host being offered, being meant to serve as a stop gap until the more permanent solution can be deployed by GCHQ, or if necessary some other arrangement being made if it doesn’t pan out. I find it some what ironic, that quite probably if the ex slackers had dealt from the top of the deck, [SAS] may have been perfectly set financially for another ten years at costs far lower than NTFs with only the cost of a few problem-children to shuffle out to clean the deck for the long haul. Instead the present huddle must be crossed first. Ahh, the bitter sweet retrospect of I told you so ages ago, coming to pass:  it usually tracks my minds for-thought even if I oft’ choose not to say it.

Having been placed into a position, where no other choice remained under my code of conduct but to turn in my warrant, has not changed my feelings towards [SAS], not the part of it that means something. My loyalty was always given to a vision, never to any single or group of members. That why, even from outside the [SAS], I would still extend my hand.

So far, I have received no formal acceptance or rejection of my offer, and if things continue as they are headed, I expect that [SAS] will be totally server-less until GCHQs aims are achieved, or some hurting member pulls a Noer2.

The honest question, is accept, reject, or ignore: whether to take this do-nothing response lying down or take it with axe and sword in hand. As a friend inadvertently reminded me, as I once used to say: when the boat springs a leak, my way is not to jump overboard but to fetch a bucket and help the engineer. That never really has changed about me… lol. Thus, it poses to me the problem: do I watch something that I gave a quarter of my life to in loyal and selfless service to, risk perishing into the abyss, or do I lock, cock, and rock in hopes of bringing order to chaos?

In thinking about this problem, I began trying to evaluate whether or not [SAS]_Maj_WIZ’s recent actions are on par with high treason against the [SAS] 22nd Elite Virtual Regiment, and [SAS]_CO_Random in strong dereliction of duty as good as constituting such, or if they are actively attempting to rip the walls down upon members heads. Random and En4cer may be two of the best officers in [SAS] history, and on a sadly short list of decent ones, but at present are totally useless beyond Randoms financial backing. If the equation evaluates true to treason in the end, and I play that card full force, arguably I could even choose to do so as a senior [SAS] member: as the retention of my data publicly indicates that the resignation of my warrant has not (as of yet) been accepted by the Officer In Charge. That thought, than leads to a pair of sub equatables: can [SAS] survive without them any better than it can with, and what would charging them with treason, make of me? Perhaps I just have good sense enough to do things the proper way, rather than turning underhanded or petty about it. In my opinion these (in)actions have come to warrant expulsion or demotion of a few officers, either now or in the future.

Edit: Since this entry was originally drafted, as if fortune would smile upon a loyal sons troubles, through association with a certain development project3 that I’m involved with, it is possible that [SAS] may be able obtain access to an extremely sexy4 server at such a low cost that would make NTFs heads spin around in circles until it flies off into the stratosphere from the shock. I’ve taken the liberty of informing the Major of this possibility. I’m also willing to make the necessary communication and logistical arrangements to make things happen.

I’ve received no pertinent response from [SAS] on that offer either, but it’s been less than 24 hours on that.

footnotes:
0: Since this was drafted, I’ve heard Walker runs a temp SWAT 4 server whenever he’s gaming.
1: First CO sign I’ve had since well before throwing in my warrant, was seeing the forum index last indicating that Random had posted in the Officers Mess.

2: Noer once came to the rescue, putting his wallet where his heart was after Bronco resigned, taking [SAS]’s only SWAT 4 server with him.
3: Encapsulated Package Installer, EPI ftw!
4: As in such a sexy beast, that you would sell your grandmother and your left nut just for a tenth of that boxes computing power and network pipe!

Generally, [SAS] is riding on rather thin ice with me: my patience although sometimes compared to a saints, is shall we say, far from unlimited. Perhaps I don’t show it, but I generally agree with what friends in my inner-circle have said about my exit from [SAS]. There’s just somethings I need to put in order over the course of time (i.e. the rear burner), like my memoirs ;). I’m moving forward with my life one way or the other, and I have much more meaningful things to deal with then suffering collections of fools, or cursing at bugs.

One thing I have enjoyed about becoming a ronin, is the chance to confound elements of [SAS] and NTF. It’s the price for anyone, who cannot or will not accept my word for truth. As I’ve often said, I have little care what others think, but when I know what they must be thinking, sometimes it does give me a massive cackle! For what side of that coin, that I’ve had to deal with from the [SAS] side (everyone can guess from who), I take it less offensively than I normally would, as my position in [SAS] afforded me sufficient view to comprehend it better than most can; much as I cut certain people outside of that clan a similar amount of ‘slack’, before I’ll pull the trigger in hostility. Also, I am naturally more passive than most; there are but few things that leave ‘lasting marks’, so to speak.

While I would consider a return to [SAS] someday, the things that would have to happen to allow that to be possible, should we say, that I wouldn’t hold my breath over that, if you paid me. I’m not happy about my mighty entry being retained, as is simply put: I am out, and Random and Wiz have ensured it that way. While all things considered with that, I can’t help but wonder if my former CO, has even noticed that he no longer has me to annoy. If anyone decides to Veterize me without my permission, by holding to a differing interpretation of the regulatory code than I and [SAS] in general do, then I’ll simply create my own clan “On paper” [sic], thus null-an-voiding any possibility of that. You can’t be made a Vet in [SAS], if you’re in another clan. Either I am in or I am out, and ‘in’ has not been left as a choice in my opinion. Which is the one that matters most.

Heh, if I had to go that far clanwise, I could publish my masters guide on tactics under my own brand, instead of just my own name lol. Honestly, I’m just happy that I can revise it and publish it in the future, now that I no longer have to give a damn about it’s impact on [SAS] members, nor making GCHQ look like asswholes in the process. As I’ve often said, it’s not a time consuming thing to write! My private files already blew the ‘current’ [SAS] SOPs out of the water before updated material was drafted, and I’m not even going to remark about he the ‘first committee’ from ages back.

I have generally tried to grant a fairly peaceful envelope to both clans: the [SAS] and the NATO Task Force. I feel the latter has accepted that understanding, sufficiently enough; where as I can not say the same about my former superiors. They will however, respect my peaceful-coexistencal desires, or face the blockers wall.

The virtue of being a free agent: is just that, freedom.

An interesting day…

Decided to take my chances with dream land, and tried sleeping in this morning: virtue of working late on Wednesdays lol. Only logged in for a bit, in order to catch up with a friend on a personal matter. Managed to to that, but couldn’t finish our convo, will have to link up later.

While I was online, I took the liberty of sorting a few other things.

After thinking over my decision last night, to grant access to my private TS3 server to [SAS] members and server regulars – as I’ve no assurance, that I’ll ever be given access to their comms server again. I had decided that I would open mine up, because I know Ezbassr and JB rarely type, and it might be useful someday. This morning, I had decided that I would further extend that access in the name of peace, granting access privilege to NTFs membership: as I’ve no real clue or care what their comms policy is, but would rather be more inclined to play when Noer is present. Who also doesn’t type much lol.

This TS3 server, is something I setup a while ago. The main reason was something private between Cara, Escrt, and myself; which eventually lead to me putting the host in place, to furnish my semi-regular GR outings with voice chat. Escrts been the only one to join me out of the original game plan, but MB and Nick eventually caught a fancy to it, making the comms server a good time investment on my part. I had setup the TS3 server on my desktop, so I could play GR and not have to invite friends outside of [SAS], onto the clans private comms server. Finding myself a free agent after recent business… well, it’s my server, so I’ll use it as I damn well please.

In posting the clan wide invitations on each NTF and [SAS] forums, I noticed that the server blocks on www.sasclan.org were reporting an ‘SAS_Sgt_RASA’ playing in the [SAS] Proving Grounds. That is actually what’s responsible for the time delay between posts. Remembering some problem we had with a “Stalker slash impersonator” on the servers over the past few years, I felt apt in reporting this to [SAS]_Maj_WIZ. Because I know, that even for sake of a joke, the odds of that being the real Rasa, were pretty damn slim lol. If I had been an [SAS] member, I would’ve investigated personally.

Yesterday, Noer had asked me about my name still being on The Mighty page, which was a bit of a surprise, as it should have been removed by now! Took the opportunity to prompt Wiz on it while I was online, only to hear he was waiting to to see if would ask for Vet status. I find that somewhat superfluous: as I met the criteria (>1 year out of the SC) for automatic Vet, by a very wide margin… indeed. To which, I made note that ‘(14:37:11) Spidey01: and I turned in the WO1, because I couldn’t both be a member and ‘shut up’ about the v46/on it thing’ -> as I only have two modes, in or out, and Vet isn’t one of them. If I had wanted Vet, I would’ve stated it explicitly… and I do not feel that even that choice was left me. My original post-draft (trp or vet) was mostly, made insufficient by the COs continued lax handling of the matter, combined with constant prodding from the Major.

Despite the morning ‘irks’ about getting to work, my mother finally brought a smile to my face; very rare these years, I’m afraid, and even rarer that ma would be the cause. What made me smile, was when she commented on my driving, as resembling ‘an old pro’. Today gives me less than 10 hours road time, but I’m already doing better than a lot of the things I have, eh, ‘seen’, in my many years as a passenger. Enjoyable, was watching 3 dickweavels creating hazardous situations, all of which I fully anticipated and was able to mitigate. Rule #0 of my life, has always been to expect the other sap will likely fuck it up, until they prove otherwise. It’s allowed me to survive a few things, lol, and I expect it’ll serve just as well in driving. Count yourself lucky in Georgia, if people remember RED light means STOP instead of FLOOR IT!

Always makes up for the amount of ma cursing at me, that I’ve had to deal with lately lol.

Tonight, after finishing up with my laptops updates, I decided to take in a little RvS. Finding the home page blocks reporting the [SAS] servers empty :-(, so I decided to login and pay the NTF servers a visit. First time I’ve played there since leaving [SAS]. Seeing their other public server offline, I joined NATO TASK FORCE 3, and played alone for a bit on (MP) Training. Cocked my MP5A4 and took at the map with around 77-84% accuracy on average, not to shabby for an old fart. After a while, a player named Tarantula joined server… demonstrating total nubness and smoke spam. His MO would’ve made me check his ID, if I had been an admin.  A few other pubs joined in shortly after, so I rather resigned myself to the fact -> I’m getting out of this smoke abusing server soon.

After everyone else on the server ‘died’, I went on to finish it off using my M4A1 to polish off the slidering tangos, and decided to get a drink once the next map (peaks) had loaded up. In a few seconds, I was already being told to ready up, in a quality of English that almost begs questioning of the persons identity. As I needed at least a good 3 seconds to grab my kit, I told mr ants in his pants to wait a moment. In the time it takes to scroll the mouse wheel ~three notches, I was already being insulted by the pubs in server quite proficiently. If that had happened on [SAS]’s servers when I was an admin, the entire server would’ve been banned.

Since NTF doesn’t have a published Server Incident Report (SIR) system or policy that I know of, like [SAS] does, and the screen shots I took were to profane to post on the NTF forum publicly, I paged the nearest NTF member. Only to find the other party acting like an assclown or a unconcerned incompetent, and therefore, as I’ve no regiment for my actions to reflect upon (even in private), being regarded as such in my choice of demeanour. Finding myself under “Vote kick” for taking the time to notify an NTF member of the rampet bout of offensiveness and morose behaviour on his clans server, I of course was summary kicked out by the pubs.

Being placed in that boat, I simply sent a few NTF officers an e-mail with the screen shot as a SIR, and called it a night. In [SAS] unruly crowd control was always taken seriously, and made the job of every member based on the totem poll system. Maybe I truly was, the only dickbrain who served virtually on 24/7 admin call…. lol. Oh well, that is other folks loss, as I now consider myself Ronin.

And on top of that, I had to put up with taking flak from a certain [SAS] officer about my TS3 offer being open to both clans 8=). Private property does has it’s perks, particularly when I own it.

At long last

My forum account on www.sasclan.org is finally ready op! It was unsuspended a few days ago, once WIZ completed the usual procedures. Kicking the bigger system into obedience, +1 for [SAS] admin power. Last time, I had to respond to a chit chat post via private e-mail.

One thing that I do not miss about being in [SAS], is having to deal with the ‘magic’ behind it, any more than it takes to make a forum post. Although I know my way around blindfolded in spots… I ain’t never gonna miss that code base.

An explaination, just for the sake of clarity

In my previous journal entry, I wrote this in part of it:

the most offensive action that I’ve taken on NTFs forum, was reminding Rouge not to boast without something to boast about, and he wouldn’t be the first person to get that rudeness from me.

I am referring to an incident in the public announcement thingy on NTFs forums, namely the responses I made to Rouges statement regarding  that they could quickly make miracles but quality takes more time. (That was an indirect quote: obviously.)

My words about the effort involved with setting up a forum, were correct. I know, because I’ve managed or moderated several forums in my own tenors0. Like wise, I chose those words because I already knew that NTF had a private forum running for several months or so: Hunter some what leaked it publicly. Normally when placed in a situation like NTFs leadership was, you want to get a moderate website put up quickly, and begin building your forum. That includes a public sector to attract people to your unit. NTF on the other hand, appears to have kept quite secretive about things, not surprising when one considers that they would likely perceive [SAS] as a potential enemy, and even post-[SAS], I may be considered so as well.

Obviously, I have felt a bit uncomfortable that they would run it so close to an underground. As I have always said, I prefer to run things above board whenever possible. Rouges post when parsed, by someone who has dealt in American English since birth as I have, and as ‘technically’ focused as I have in the past lustrum++, implies that NTF having a forum was much newer, then to my knowledge is widely known, and in my eyes is a cline to saying you did in two hours, instead of X weeks below the public radar.

Making a statement about how easy it is to setup a forum, in fact even if it’s hundred times as complex as [SAS]’s was when I left, it still would be a cake walk for NTF to have set it up any time they pleased: in fact it could be automated if it was that big and complex, thus making it even faster. Making what information I have in that regard, known to several NTF members before hand, was my ‘polite’ way of pointing out what I’ve seen. Being in [SAS] uniform at the time, I had to be more nice about saying that, and won’t rule out Rouges comment as potentiality being a fly on a hook ;).

Where I was my ‘most offensive’ on their forums, i.e. I was essentially being rude with the last part: where I made a reference to the admin teams choice of software and their leaderships C31 structure. That single sentence at the end, was for me, borderline on being disrespectful, if not being so.

I also chose to phrase it that way, in order to give Rouge a chance to show that he’s still up to snuff under fire, rather then disappoint me by turning it into a flame, as only an unfit officer would. I would’ve called it to a prompt end if that had happened. Instead (then just a Captain) Timbo took it home with the up most professionalism, exactly as I would expect from him (the sternness included), and exactly as any decent officer should have done when faced with that, and how I expect Rouge would have (minus the sternness). Timbo stepping in however, removed my opportunity to size Rouge up for any change in his usually excellent demeanor. Doing that was no less then satisfying my curiosity for the fly: don’t forget I’ve known NTFs leadership since they were babes in the woods, and know well how their management style tends to take shape. Normally I would not take such an action, even (as I prefer) so overtly, but after Rouges actions of late: I considered taking that target of opportunity justified2. Even better, if properly handled, it would reflect well upon my friends in NTF, something they could seriously have used in formalizing their clans public view. Would you rather face me, or a real prick? :-P.

As I told a dear friend after wards, I’ve no real intention of being rude over there, but I am still one who believes in expressing his opinions honestly. Being blunt rather than overly sugar coating stuff, is also a virtue in my book. Perhaps developing programming skills has had to big an impact on my brains thinking :-o.

Footnotes:
0: DEx, SLDF SF, SAS 22nd EVR, and PC-BSD all come to mind in various capacities.
1: it means “Command, Control, and Communications”. Basically how you issue commands, keep your men under control, and address the issue of communication between components. It is one expansion of the more widely known C2.
2: he has privately admitted to what equates to breaking his word (i.e. lying), in such a way that I won’t stand for it.

Best summary of why I resigned from [SAS]

10:45:42) Malty: Spidey…I gotta ask tho, why didn’t you keep your Tags, and just resign your duties as WO
(10:46:36) Spidey01: My personal code of conduct does not allow me to hold a position that I’m unable to fulfill, even if it is my superiors who make it so.
(10:47:11) Malty: Yeah, but why not remain an SAS member, but just a trooper, or apply to be Vet or something
(10:48:11) Spidey01: That was the original plan drafted several weeks ago, Randoms attempt to stave it off yet still do nothing, changes the equation
(10:48:16) Spidey01: s/changes/changed/
(10:48:45) Malty: Ahh ok..
(10:49:03) Spidey01: and if you don’t mind, I think I’d like to post this little excert on my journal as a summery of my ‘why’, lol
(10:49:51) Malty: yeah sure
(10:49:55) Spidey01: thanks

The past couple of days, I’ve been thinking about how best to go about writing my memoirs. I’ve known [SAS] since 2004, with my entry to the selection course being 2005-08-07 and my completion of the Selection Course being 2005-09-14. So it has been a long time, lol.

I’ve long planned to write some form of memoir about my times in [SAS], to be published posthumously, after retirement, expulsion, or forced resignation. Both being someone who hears or sees just about everything, and having been placed in positions of power, I know a considerable some about [SAS]. My ethical code on the other hand, ensures that what is trusted secret, remains on until death. People have often told me thngs in confidence, and although I have few secrets of my own, I never will violate those of others. However much of my life and times in [SAS], are not classified material: but instead something you can only learn by having been there, or through someone who was there first hand. That’s what my memoirs will contain: a reminiscence of my experiences there.

What’s weighed on my mind, is more so the effort of writing them then for the contents. I’ve always decided on most of the omissions, for obvious reasons that I’m both morally and honour bound to make about [SAS] internal affairs. The finished materal will of course end up on my journal, in one form or another. Odds are I’ll either write it in gdocs, or I’ll expand my XSL stylesheet for the occasion and mate it with a macro pre processor. I have stylesheets that allow me to write in DocBook, then convert to forum or blog posts as desired; but it doesn’t (at this time) handle interlinked footnotes/references as well as I desire.

Damn it, I feel old….

So far, I’ve been adjusting well to life outside of [SAS]. The only thing that irks me, is still being unable to access my forum account. It was finally unsuspended a couple days ago, but it is still impossible to log in. I’ve e-mailed the webmaster about it two days ago, and again today since there was no response; just now, I’ve even sent a more detailed debugging analysis to aid the ‘webmaster’.

There’s no way that I can reply to any threads in Chit Chat or Clan Topics, until my account is in proper working order. Unlike certain people (gives Snipe and Ithen the evil eye), I don’t believe in setting up other accounts unless necessary.

Just about everything of real interest on the [SAS] Forum, lives in the NCOs part of the board, but at least the Publicly accessible forum provides an avenue to stay in touch. That’s principally why I registered, and visit NTFs public forum regularly.

Threading upon years of memories

I’ve just completed the first round of cleaning $HOME, like any chronic organizer / pack rat / cataloger, over the years I have accumulated large quantities of files. ~/Documents/SAS and ~/Projects/SAS alone were over 100 megs, and I had *thinned* them out last year, by purging many old files. I still have almost 5 GB of files saved else wheres but most of it can either be digitally shredded or kept, like the sources to the SAS skins.

I’m really not sure what to do with the SAS Skins from SWAT 4:TSS. I have backups of everything from that project: texture sources, installation files, and finished product. That goes for both the old version 2 skin and the current version 3 skins.  The SAS skins were never officially adapted by GCHQ, so in real effect, they effectively go with me… lol. Although the download links will go dead, I’ll gladly give a copy of of the installer to any [SAS] Member or Recruit who requests them. I also have a copy of Dukes skin saved.

My own skin, will likely continue on with the next version of it having the [SAS] elements removed.

Most of the files that I’ve elected to keep, are either moments like Miles’ scorecard, or old software manuals (I never throw out manuals lol). For right now, I still have some of my old lesson plans, even one dated June 2006! That would place it during the June 5th to September 9th period that I held the rank of Lance Corporal. Perhaps I’ll hang on the my lesson plans, or I’ll burn them, not sure just yet.

So many files, so many memories. It has often been my way to keep detailed records, or at least enough to reconstruct ones from memory. With my iron clad memory, or as a friend once posed it, “Dont u forget anything??”, I can remember much about how many of these files came to be. So for me personally, there is a lot of history here… even if now, much of it gets the PC equivalent of a being thrown into a lit fireplace.

A few of the files that I have archived, such as those pertaining to the [SAS] admin team and server management, will be handed over to GCHQ before I shred them: thus giving [SAS] the only versions of those files. Whatever the required level of paranoia about former admins in [SAS] is in the post James situation, I’m a fully ethical one. In however many years I was involved with the [SAS] Admin Team, I have always operated honestly and professionally. The trust that was placed in me, was never miss used: to the point that GCHQ often expressed signs of exasperation over the e-paper work this added into the loop. Things that I was given standing orders for sorting, or that fell upon my own scope, I took care of autonomously and reported the actions as necessary: most things however, being deemed (by me, to be) outside my authority as merely an admin, were first OK’d through GCHQ, except when emergency response required otherwise. I wonder just how many memos I did send… hahaha.

I have a personal code, that dictates the way I conduct myself, and I break it for no one.

In a couple days, several [SAS] members will find a copy of my various contact data in their email, to help stay in touch.