Best summary of why I resigned from [SAS]

10:45:42) Malty: Spidey…I gotta ask tho, why didn’t you keep your Tags, and just resign your duties as WO
(10:46:36) Spidey01: My personal code of conduct does not allow me to hold a position that I’m unable to fulfill, even if it is my superiors who make it so.
(10:47:11) Malty: Yeah, but why not remain an SAS member, but just a trooper, or apply to be Vet or something
(10:48:11) Spidey01: That was the original plan drafted several weeks ago, Randoms attempt to stave it off yet still do nothing, changes the equation
(10:48:16) Spidey01: s/changes/changed/
(10:48:45) Malty: Ahh ok..
(10:49:03) Spidey01: and if you don’t mind, I think I’d like to post this little excert on my journal as a summery of my ‘why’, lol
(10:49:51) Malty: yeah sure
(10:49:55) Spidey01: thanks

The past couple of days, I’ve been thinking about how best to go about writing my memoirs. I’ve known [SAS] since 2004, with my entry to the selection course being 2005-08-07 and my completion of the Selection Course being 2005-09-14. So it has been a long time, lol.

I’ve long planned to write some form of memoir about my times in [SAS], to be published posthumously, after retirement, expulsion, or forced resignation. Both being someone who hears or sees just about everything, and having been placed in positions of power, I know a considerable some about [SAS]. My ethical code on the other hand, ensures that what is trusted secret, remains on until death. People have often told me thngs in confidence, and although I have few secrets of my own, I never will violate those of others. However much of my life and times in [SAS], are not classified material: but instead something you can only learn by having been there, or through someone who was there first hand. That’s what my memoirs will contain: a reminiscence of my experiences there.

What’s weighed on my mind, is more so the effort of writing them then for the contents. I’ve always decided on most of the omissions, for obvious reasons that I’m both morally and honour bound to make about [SAS] internal affairs. The finished materal will of course end up on my journal, in one form or another. Odds are I’ll either write it in gdocs, or I’ll expand my XSL stylesheet for the occasion and mate it with a macro pre processor. I have stylesheets that allow me to write in DocBook, then convert to forum or blog posts as desired; but it doesn’t (at this time) handle interlinked footnotes/references as well as I desire.

Damn it, I feel old….

So far, I’ve been adjusting well to life outside of [SAS]. The only thing that irks me, is still being unable to access my forum account. It was finally unsuspended a couple days ago, but it is still impossible to log in. I’ve e-mailed the webmaster about it two days ago, and again today since there was no response; just now, I’ve even sent a more detailed debugging analysis to aid the ‘webmaster’.

There’s no way that I can reply to any threads in Chit Chat or Clan Topics, until my account is in proper working order. Unlike certain people (gives Snipe and Ithen the evil eye), I don’t believe in setting up other accounts unless necessary.

Just about everything of real interest on the [SAS] Forum, lives in the NCOs part of the board, but at least the Publicly accessible forum provides an avenue to stay in touch. That’s principally why I registered, and visit NTFs public forum regularly.

This one’s just for the geeks…

A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts, “Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?”

The man below says: “Yes. You’re in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field.”

“You must work in Information Technology” says the balloonist.

“I do” replies the man. “How did you know?”

“Well” says the balloonist, “Everything you have told me is technically correct, but it’s no use to anyone.”

The man below says, “You must work in business.”

“I do” replies the balloonist, “but how did you know?”

“Well,” says the man, “You don’t know where you are, or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault.”
 — Business Partners

Sometimes trying to figure out ways to make others laugh for a few moments, is a good way to spend an afternoon.

Threading upon years of memories

I’ve just completed the first round of cleaning $HOME, like any chronic organizer / pack rat / cataloger, over the years I have accumulated large quantities of files. ~/Documents/SAS and ~/Projects/SAS alone were over 100 megs, and I had *thinned* them out last year, by purging many old files. I still have almost 5 GB of files saved else wheres but most of it can either be digitally shredded or kept, like the sources to the SAS skins.

I’m really not sure what to do with the SAS Skins from SWAT 4:TSS. I have backups of everything from that project: texture sources, installation files, and finished product. That goes for both the old version 2 skin and the current version 3 skins.  The SAS skins were never officially adapted by GCHQ, so in real effect, they effectively go with me… lol. Although the download links will go dead, I’ll gladly give a copy of of the installer to any [SAS] Member or Recruit who requests them. I also have a copy of Dukes skin saved.

My own skin, will likely continue on with the next version of it having the [SAS] elements removed.

Most of the files that I’ve elected to keep, are either moments like Miles’ scorecard, or old software manuals (I never throw out manuals lol). For right now, I still have some of my old lesson plans, even one dated June 2006! That would place it during the June 5th to September 9th period that I held the rank of Lance Corporal. Perhaps I’ll hang on the my lesson plans, or I’ll burn them, not sure just yet.

So many files, so many memories. It has often been my way to keep detailed records, or at least enough to reconstruct ones from memory. With my iron clad memory, or as a friend once posed it, “Dont u forget anything??”, I can remember much about how many of these files came to be. So for me personally, there is a lot of history here… even if now, much of it gets the PC equivalent of a being thrown into a lit fireplace.

A few of the files that I have archived, such as those pertaining to the [SAS] admin team and server management, will be handed over to GCHQ before I shred them: thus giving [SAS] the only versions of those files. Whatever the required level of paranoia about former admins in [SAS] is in the post James situation, I’m a fully ethical one. In however many years I was involved with the [SAS] Admin Team, I have always operated honestly and professionally. The trust that was placed in me, was never miss used: to the point that GCHQ often expressed signs of exasperation over the e-paper work this added into the loop. Things that I was given standing orders for sorting, or that fell upon my own scope, I took care of autonomously and reported the actions as necessary: most things however, being deemed (by me, to be) outside my authority as merely an admin, were first OK’d through GCHQ, except when emergency response required otherwise. I wonder just how many memos I did send… hahaha.

I have a personal code, that dictates the way I conduct myself, and I break it for no one.

Chuckle of the day, 2010-04-28

(15:49:34) dkg: I hereby conclude, however reluctantly, that you take things too seriously.
(15:49:40) dkg: EOF
(15:49:42) Spidey01: lol
(15:50:00) Spidey01: Thank you for the laugh of my day, may I blog this? 😀
(15:50:13) dkg: I’d be flattered 😛
(15:50:41) Spidey01: thx xD

Thoughts on life outside of [SAS]

Since the last card in the hand I was dealt, has finally landed, I reckon it’s time to plot the course where I’ll go from here.

Game wise, whenever I play Raven Shield or SWAT 4, my primary stomping grounds will likely remain the [SAS] servers, because they’re the best servers you’ll find anywhere. Sometimes I visit other clans servers, but usually it’s ones I’m friendly with or when ours are having an outage. One of the things I have always liked about being in clans and friends with various clans, people know your name when you setup roots: and I have roots here. Before joining SW years and years ago during my MW4 career, I maintained friendly relationships with much of SW, OTC, and the leadership of the GSA branches of CGB and CSV. Even after becoming a Shadow Warrior, I kept those up, when possible even continuing to the present. Like wise that goes for most people who have passed through [SAS], I’ve kept up contact with many of them over the years, especially those closest to me. Most memorable people to cross our servers these past years, have known me in some form.

How much I’ll play of either game, I dunno. There is now less to weigh me down, so I can play more freely, and I can also work more as needed. I don’t plan to become a stranger though.

Really, I feel naked without my uniform: no more SAS_Rank_Spidey01 written all over the place. Obviously I have some things to change :-/. Spidey01 however is and always has been my name. Formal clan prefixes of DEx and [SAS]_Rank, having been groups close enough to my heart, to become a virtual part of my identity. On the other hand, being the *intelligent* sort of person, most of my stuff doesn’t revolve around [SAS]. For example my IM usernames don’t reference SAS, this has been a conscious decision from the vary start (cica 2005). The idea being, that my IM would become known, and if should anything ever happen, changing it would be a major pain: so I’ve avoided it all these years. Except for FreeNode, which now comes back to bite me in the arse lol. On the upside, I don’t have to constantly remind myself to omit the ’01’ in RvS!

 Most of the changes are trivial, updating signatures, shredding old files, closing old photo albums, and so on. The main gripe is waiting for my forum account to be returned to me.

On the subject of military tactics and their applications, I started learning about such things around 1995, and joined [SAS] during a chapter of my life, where I wished to focus in on close quarters combat. It remains to be seen, whether I’ll continue my studies, there really isn’t much more I can learn without firing an MP5, but it is a chapter of my life that I’ll never forget.

I’m still gonna be found naturally stacking up on doors lol.

In a couple days, several [SAS] members will find a copy of my various contact data in their email, to help stay in touch.

Resigning My Warrant: Spidey01’s original

Before dinner, this post was made by me in Clan Topics at approximately 00:29 UTC on www.sasclan.org:

 On March 24th an important issue arose between [SAS]_Maj_WIZ and myself, in regard to his apparent countermanding of established [SAS] SOP and long standing orders of [SAS]_Capt_En4cer. In dealing with both [SAS]_Maj_WIZ and [SAS]_CO_Random, to properly clarify and document the final outcome of this for it’s obvious *immeidate* impact on our training affairs, I have generally been screwed in one ear and out the other, or run around one three and six more blocks trying to resolve this.

For over a month I have been patient, whilst my CO has left my hands tied, unable to furfil my duties as a [SAS] Member, and I’ve met everything from the Major short of threatening my dogs life. Well gentlemen, I believe it is time to call this farce over. [b]If I cannot be allowed to furfil my duties, then I shall not hold my rank[/b].

It is with that in mind, that I hear by resign my Warrant.

I have served this team almost self sacrificially since the very moment that I landed foot on these hollow grounds… only to suffer countless incidences of the same over my years. Random, WIZ, En4cer, Rouge, Valroe, Sniper, Timbo, and Medic have all been apart of doing this to me over my many years, when I’m screwed a month straight by the Commanding Officer, I think it is time for a man to draw the line.

[color=yellow]It is my first ever and my parting order, that this post is not to be edited, nor is this thread to be moved.[/color]

That post was written as a text file on my laptop, and copy/pasted into the forums, just as it has been copy/pasted into this journal entry. What you see in the above quote, is exactly how I wrote it: it is the authoritative copy.

[SAS]_Maj_WIZ has since moved it: but I expect, has not edited it. After dinner, I addressed a private e-mail to [SAS]_CO_Random notifying him accordingly of this action, and putting my effects in order: namely that I expect my forum account returned to me once the locks are changed, and that I explicitly turn over all express legal rights to any code that I’ve contributed to [SAS], to any acting CO of the team past/present/future and for all time. Legally because of the U.S. involvement (on Randoms side), the code in question already belongs to [SAS]’s commanding officer, same as the draft documents Rouge and company submitted before leaving [SAS].

Having been sufficiently been further insulted and verbally threatened by the good Major, I’ve placed him on my IM clients temporary block list. I’ll not waste further breath with him on the issue.

Since this is my turf and not [SAS] private property, I will add a few details to my above post. The issue in question, I will explain it here.

In the public view (as of this time of writing, although I wouldn’t be surprised if [SAS] will remove it from public view, or *finally* edit the damn thing in response to this), on www.sasclan.org in the tactics section is an Raven Shield V-Comms SOP page that was authored by [SAS]_Capt_En4cer in 2007.

One of it’s entries says this:

V-4-6 =Objective Reached.

This command is issued by any elemental member. This command is most often heard following a ‘Reform On My Position’ command by the EL or once a member has reached their respective Point Of Domination (POD) during a dynamic entry, and lastly if the elemental member has been assigned to locate a specific location critical to mission success. Most often this location will be beyond the visual scope of the EL and this command acknowledges that the element member is alive, in the correct position for the task at hand and is able to engage threats as required. When the element initially forms up on the EL the only member that MUST say this command would be the Rear Guard for all other members this command is optional during initial form up.

This use of calling “Objective Reached” when taking your Point of Domination, is something that [SAS]_Capt_En4cer pushed down the necks of [SAS]_SSM_Spidey01 and [SAS]_SSM_Rasa years ago, and that we in turn pushed it out to the rest of the clan. In SWAT 4, we have used “On it” IAW the GCHQs approval. You can’t pass by our SWAT server without picking that up.

On the night of March 24th, in a private conversation with [SAS]_Maj_WIZ, the major countermanded this [SAS] SOP, and blatantly refused to notify the membership.

Since then, I have pushed very hard that if the MAJOR has just threw out that SOP, then every one must be informed that it has been null-n-voided. Other wise, the Major is wrong and has failed to keep up to date with [SAS] Tactical matters. My private conversations with the Major on the issue have had very brutal moments: as WIZ has admitted and spoken to me about over the years, what he has done to members (in particular the occasional cracker, people now residing in NTF, and ex SAS members not in good standing with SAS or NTF), I do not consider myself bound by [SAS] CoH in our private chats, any more than he has demonstrated his own obedience to it. As the Major only kept himself CoH bound (in that regard) when using [SAS] forum and VoIP systems, I followed the same conduct, having heard nothing from Random about it: not a peep over 6 years.

During my shoving to have the issue resolved, I also noted that if GCHQ would fail to notify the membership of this important (and sudden) change to active SOP, that as WO1, I must either issue an order of my own, notifying the membership, or I must give up my Warrant.

In doing so, I have had my honour and integrity questioned, accused of being an NTF agent (it’s WIZ’s job to do so in both those cases), and in effect, having my physical person threatened with bodily harm. I have also had to tolerate enumerable “Mind games”, which we all know how highly I consider those a disrespect for my intelligence.

[SAS]_CO_Random was contacted and asked to deal with this, as he is the only one with authority above Major. I was made to wait several weeks to receive so much as a word from Random on the issue, who has since done nothing — I have not been informed. Worse then that, it was only after (as friends rather then colleagues) notifying WIZ with a draft post, issuing the aforementioned order and requesting to GCHQ that I be demoted to [SAS]_Trp_Spidey01 — as that is the most value Randoms inaction has allowed me to contribute. Only after sending WIZ that message, did I hear from Random. I have not received further notification of this since then! This effectively made my position as WO1, totally pointless.

Today, I was notified by a LCpl about training still being conducted with “On it”, and noted this to [SAS]_Maj_WIZ in private: who summery brushed it off, after which I noted either the membership still needs notification or the LCpl in question needs a wuppin’ for the foul up. I was still met with the same run around.

Thus, I have resigned my warrant, and so conclude my responsibility as an [SAS] member.

Most of the past and present members in my Clan Topics post, have also had a huge impact (IMHO) in damaging the [SAS] I joined,  among other things: causing damage to the eliteness (WIZ has fought against this), and something I hear NTF members grip about their leadership over! Every action I’ve taken or planned to curb that problem in [SAS] in the years leading up to the recent falling out of several members, has been met with my superiors tying my hands, or delegating it to incompetents. So this was just the biggest insult of them all.

So at this point: I do not feel, that I have left the [SAS] that I joined, I feel that the team I have loved all these years, is being or has been pushed over the edge of existence.